Attracting older women; why can't I get girls my own age??

[Nick Diamond]

I'm 18, almost 19, and I work part time in an office that sends out insurance claims to patients. At this place, there are about 50 people on our floor. Out of those 50 people, only about 5 of them, including me, are males. I'm the youngest person there by about 7 years: besides me, the youngest male is 26 and the youngest female that works there is 27. The females' ages range from about 27 - 40, somewhere in there.

 

Anyway, to give some background (hopefully this won't seem pointless ), I've never had much confidence when it comes to girls because up until about a year ago, I didn't have much self-esteem. At the time I graduated high school, I was a small, skinny, pale teenager with some mild acne on my face. 99.9% of the time, if a girl ever made a compliment to me, it was that I was funny (which isn't a bad thing, but it didn't really help my confidence as far as my appearance was concerned). I had a lot of girl friends in high school, but not a "girlfriend". Well after I graduated, I decided to try and improve my appearance in order to help my self-esteem by working out, eating right, etc., and a year later, I'm built the way I want to be, I have a darker complexion, and my acne is almost non-existant. For the first time, I think I'm finally somewhat attractive now. I know I'm no Brad Pitt or anything, but I don't think I'm ugly. I've always been quiet and shy, and I still am, but I just have a little more self-esteem now....

 

Which brings me back to my original subject. Ever since I started working there about three months ago, I've gotten a lot of compliments from these older women, and I don't really know how to take it. I mean, they don't say it to my face, but I've overheard people talking about me, and there's this one woman that I knew before I started working there, so we've been friends for a while, and she tells me some of the things that she's heard other women saying about me. Mostly it's just simple stuff like, "Nick's a cutie"...ya know, just stuff like that. But every now and then people will say something like, "If I was 10 years younger" and then my name follows soon after. But the thing that is most surprising to me is that most of the women who say those things are attractive for their ages, so sometimes some of the things I hear are flattering to me. My friend of mine even told me that this one girl who is 31 and single (and attractive ) told her that she's attracted to me. At first I didn't believe her, but then I noticed that this girl is always flirty with me: she always looks me right in the eyes, I catch her looking at me a lot, she touches me a lot (usually on my stomach or my arm), and she laughs at just about everything I say. Now like I said, all of this stuff is flattering, and it helps me with my self-esteem and all, but I am just not interested in dating or having any kind of relationship with a woman in her late 20s/early 30s, so in reality, the compliments that I hear don't really mean anything.

 

The part that I really don't understand is that when I was in high school, before my appearance changed for the better, there were some attractive girls in the grade below me that would talk to me, and I was interested in a few of them, but like I said earlier, I just didn't have the confidence to ever ask any of them out, and I always thought that they were out of my league (and I still do, actually ). But this is weird: a couple of months ago, I went back to my high school to visit a few teachers, and I saw most of the girls that I was friends with last year, but it's like they didn't want to approach me. They kind of acted like they didn't know who I was, and I had to go approach them, when last year, it was the other way around. I know I probably make myself sound conceited by the things I've written in this topic, but please don't think that, because I'm not that way at all; my personality hasn't really changed....just my appearance.

 

So, now that I've rambled a while, I guess my real question is why is it that I'm getting compliments from these women who are in their late 20s/early 30s and why are they attracted to me, but I can't even get a girl in my range (17-20) to look at me anymore, much less come up and talk to me. Basically, why am I getting all this interest from the older women and not getting the time of day from girls my own age?

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Mr Spock]

Who doesn't like a nice looking package? You know the saying "A knock and a rock hard ........"

 

 

I've got a different outlook on the world then most people-you're young -if a woman 10 years older than you wants to ravish you and teach you a trick or two, you should be falling down on your knees and thanking the good lord. It's always nice to have some "experience" under your belt. Those girls are younger than you-not exactly your own age-personally I'd rather have someone who was experienced, generous, giving and talented(in the sack)any day than someone who was immature and shy and embarassed, even if they were 20 years older than me.

 

So, I'm not really answering your question like you asked but I wanted to maybe give you a little insight into the benefits of being attractive to ANY woman......I'd take 31 and pretty and smart over 18 any day.

[QtBlOnDe1109]

[font=courier new][/font][color=red][/color] You should be happy your getting noticed by someone! Maybe your just too shy to realize that girls your own age are looking at you! I have the same problems but with males! All the older guys want to go for me and i'm not like that! I'm 17 and i have 22-30yrs. old chasing me! I'm not complaining for anything but i rather have guys more my age! But guys around my age are not open about their feelings older people are not shy they just know what they want and they are not shy about it! So just open your eyes a little bit and try to go clubbing somewhere that's around your age and meet some other people!

[faux]

Originally posted by Nick Diamond

I'm 18, almost 19...

 

So, now that I've rambled a while, I guess my real question is why is it that I'm getting compliments from these women who are in their late 20s/early 30s and why are they attracted to me, but I can't even get a girl in my range (17-20) to look at me anymore, much less come up and talk to me. Basically, why am I getting all this interest from the older women and not getting the time of day from girls my own age?

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

If you are 18, almost 19, your age range is not 17-20. Your age range would have to be 18+, as one cannot be aged 18 or older, and be with any person who is younger than the age of 18. I mean, unless of course you don't mind being charged with a felony and having to register with Megan's Law.

 

Personally, 18-20 is usually too young for me (I am presently 22). I like women who are 21+, as they tend to have their heads screwed onto their shoulders a bit better, tend to be a bit less insane and psychotic, and are usually more mature.

 

Older women look for different things in a man, so this is probably why you are noticing the attraction at work. Additionally, if you spend a lot of time around these same people, interactions of some sort are sure to occur. I'd keep away from dating anyone at work, as this is in my experience always a bad idea. However, it wouldn't hurt to possibly ask one of these women at work, as a friend, if they perhaps know anyone you could be introduced to?

[Fayebelle]

Fact- men hit their sexual peak between the ages of 17-20

 

Fact- women are closer to their 30's

 

What does THAT tell you.

[tattoomytoe]

i seem to get more compliments and flattery from older men...and i am 25. i am talking 15+ more senior....i think it is because these men are older, what do they have to lose, and they are pretty darn secure with themselves.

 

i am not saying catcalls either..like when i go out to bars and such...it is quite nice i think, all the younger gys are getting drunk and rude, and i get to have interesting conversations and new friends. and usually these guys are regulars and then you got a little crew.

[CurlyIam]

Don't worry about girls your age. What you have is a problem of image: also you did change the last year, you look better, etc, those girls still see you as you were before.

 

You need time to recreate your image - and mind you, a nice body isn't enough, some attitude is required.

 

 

As for older women, they aren't that impressed with airs and attitude, they can recongnize a fine man when they see one. If I were a mysogin (man too), I'd say use the opportunity to have sex! But I'm not, so my advice to you is to respect your values and date younger girls, including 16 years old. There is no ofence to have a younger than 18 years old girlfriend. Hang out more with people your age, go out, meet people, I'm sure some nice youn girl will notice you!

[Fayebelle]

Curly this is an American thing- It is illegal here for someone 18 to sleep w/ someone younger. They may seem close in age but it's a HUGE legal no-no here.

[lydiamarie]

faux-it's good to know that this psychosis and general insanity with which i am afflicted will be cured with age, not managed with medication.

 

i'm with everyone-go for the ones that are interested in you, what do you stand to lose??

[CurlyIam]

I think the big differance is that if you have a 16 years old girlfriend you immediately assume having sex !!!

[lydiamarie]

if he dated someone 16 he would have to wait up to TWO YEARS before they could do anything. i don't think that's very practical. maybe it would be okay to date someone 17, but there's a big difference between being in high school, college, and being out in the real world.

[CurlyIam]

I mean, ever since I turned 15, I dated only boys older than 18. I loved it, I used to read a lot, to like different things!

 

HAving an older bf does not imply one automatically sleeps with him. This is what I mean.