TreeHugger Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 I just had a bit of a blow out with my soon to be ex husband and I need to hear what others think is "fair fighting." A quick background...I have been struggling with my husbands in ability to to be honest, he drinks a bit too much, is addicted to Internet porn, when I got pregnant he would not talk to me until I had an abortion, had an Internet girlfriend, has been on vacation with other women....etc, etc, etc....seven years worth of history! Tried counseling...six months...he continued to lie about stupid stuff...and about stupid stuff no less!...I informed him I had retained an attorney and that I am filing for divorce. Basically he has had no response...just monotone...never discusses anything. Anyway, I asked him to move out of our townhouse over a month ago and specifically requested him not to sleep in our bed any longer...I attempted to buy him a new bed but he wouldn't allow me to. Many days I come home from work and he has been home all day ...and has done absolutely nothing!!! The house is a freaking wreck!!! I get frustrated and start cleaning the house...half way through I told him how frustrating it is to come home to the house being such a mess especially when he has been home all day and has done nothing!!! He began to yell at me things saying such things as "give me a f@#%ing break!" "What f@#%ing ever...this is f@#%ing bull****...I'm tired of this sh@%....oh bull f@#%ing sh@%...never f@#%ing mind...all you do is b@%ch." Then he goes into this dramatic thing of acting like a slave "yes mas'sa...any thing you say mas'sa...f@%k you!" I just kept coming back, calmly, to my feelings of frustration when he is home all day and the house is a mess. I let him know that I did not appreciate the way he was talking to me, and that it would be much better if he didn't curse at me. And then again I explained that it is difficult to come home and put in a second shift at home, and it builds resentment...and I feel it is important to talk about issues before they become blown out resentments...and besides I need help with the house. Well, he walked out telling me I was f@#$ed and he did not have to do this with me. Hmmm...I am willing to have a "fair fight" and talk about the issues at hand, even loud if need be...but keep it fair, adult and on track... Am I asking too much??? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 You sound like you're a smart lady. He sounds like a creep. Why is he still in your house? Maybe I'm just stuck in a man hating rut but I've seen about 20 posts today where women seem to be putting up with a lot of bull****. If you're filing for a divorce because he's a complete sh*thead, shouldn't it make sense that you live in seperate residences? Can't you get him kicked out? Talk to your lawyer. I am glad you are keeping your calm. He sounds like he has issues that need to be worked out. Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer25 Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Damn! Well, if you are waiting for this idiot to do the right thing, and be fair about it, you will be waiting a very long time~ Based on what you've said about his behaviour pretty much the whole time you've been married to this guy, it seems that it's always been about HIM and for real, it isn't going to change now. For your sake I really hope you have retained an attorney and have filed on this jackass~ Get a legal seperation going ASAP, then you can go for temporary orders in court and the judge can MAKE this idiot move out of your home, from there you will finally reach permanant orders and be free of him to start a new healthy life for yourself. Good Luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
Author TreeHugger Posted July 4, 2004 Author Share Posted July 4, 2004 Thanks for the support. I needed it to keep me focused on the fact that his behavior is completely wrong!!! Well, about a half an hour after I made the first post, he came home acting like nothing happened (He always does this!). I let him know that he needs to leave, immediately...not the next day, week, or even hour...NOW! I informed him that I was finished allowing him to walk all over me, done with his abuse...and "I don't care where you stay...but it won't be here...don't make me get a restraining order, unless you want to look bad in court." He is fully aware that I have an attorney for the divorce, and that a restraining order is just a phone call away!! LOL Takin back the power!!!!!!!! Well, it has been a few days since he has been gone, and it has been nice! Life is much more peaceful! Thanks for listening... you were more helpful than you know Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer25 Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 yay! Heres to YOUR independence day today girl! Best wishes~ Link to post Share on other sites
Author TreeHugger Posted July 4, 2004 Author Share Posted July 4, 2004 *Cheers* Link to post Share on other sites
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