hopeto Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, I wonna be kissed, I wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. Did you ever think to figure all of this out before getting married...? Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, I wonna be kissed, I wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! Why not get divorced? Or better: Why not get divorced before he finds out about your cheating? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Squishy_Belle Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! Do your husband and yourself a favour and get divorced. Why cheat? your going to hurt him and he will eventually find out and it really isn't fair on him or yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Why in the world did you marry him in the first place? This is so screwed up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Because I think this is a ploy to get him to care again, desire her. Maybe If she feels that other men desire her than she'll feel desirable again, he'll take notice of her new found sex aura and becoming into her again? If she really wanted to leave him and just screw around then I think this is something she would have mentioned doing...but I think she's just trying to get him to care and is venting her frustration...whether she can actually do it is an altogether other thing. Be careful what you do though...you'll have to live with that regret, once you cheat it's all downhill from there...the trust is never the same. Try to work out your relationship issues...If that doesn't work and you're not making each other happy and loving each other, then get a divorce and get piped down as often as you'd like without feeling guilty. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarboniteCammy Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 My husband is alot like this. If someone doesn't care, then they don't care. When I've spoken to him about it, I get, "I'm sorry that I'm selfish." And that's the end of the conversation. Since my husband is ok with me engaging in sexual relations with women and I have bi-sexual tendencies, I'm thinking about starting up a relationship with a woman to get my needs met in that department. I honestly don't have any advice about how to fix a problem with someone when you're met with a brick wall, other then to go around it. Then again, we have other issues in our relationship where he has a hard time making me feel like a wanted partner. For example, this year he forgot my birthday, mother's day, and our anniversary, even though he was reminded ahead of time. I guess it's not so much forgetting as choosing to ignore. Yet, he went out and bought himself a model air plane which cost him several hundred dollars. On top of that, he tells me that I don't do enough. I'm guessing that I need to come home, cook dinner, do dishes, do laundry and clean the house every single day, plus make him feel needed and wanted and be interested in all of his hobbies and maybe then he would deem it acceptable to show occasionally that he cares. I really hope that you guys are sucessful figuring out your marital issues before you cheat. I don't ever condone cheating, no matter how crappy your partner makes you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 I am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, I wonna be kissed, I wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! He does not sound too bad. He has the only problem of being bad at sex. That is about normal for a long-term marriage. IMO Most husbands would not even go for 2 strokes with their wives. But, many husbands are also cheating on their wives, disrespectful, neglecting, emotionally distant, smoking m., bad fathers and making not enough money to support their family. BTW, I had 2 husbands. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Cheating is not the solution to your problems. If your needs are not being met, sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation in which you will explain what the consequences will be if he doesn't change. In my opinion, there is only one kind of consequence: You will leave him. If he doesn't wish to change, then you will have to follow through with your threat. If then he still doesn't want to change, a divorce will be the only thing left. If it has to come to that, then at least do it with dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Troll. Think about it folks. A man like the OP is describing managed to woo and marry someone without them ever getting wise to this level of extreme selfishness when it comes to intimacy? OP says he doesn't even kiss. WTH? Did he buy her online and marry her the day they met? Arranged marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
CarboniteCammy Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 It doesn't sound trollish to me, but he also sounds alot like my husband. No, it wasn't always that way for us... I love my husband alot. I always will. I took a vow to be faithful to him and I'll abide by that. That doesn't mean I don't look at our relationship with sadness from time to time, though. I think the OP is probably just really frustrated. It is really hard to be with someone who is aware of a problem, but refuses to fix it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SomedayDig Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Doesn't sound trollish to me either. Besides, OP has been a member since '06. Guess research is in order. Link to post Share on other sites
SomedayDig Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Definitely NOT a troll IMO...just someone with severe psychological wounds that will never be able to get fully addressed on an anonymous internet forum. Hopeto...you need to get help for yourself and your kid. At least get help for your kid cuz it seems her entire life has been a living hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 what a nonsense post, so presumably before you got married he was the same way...why did you get married? Honour your vows and stop b*tching. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Did you marry for money? Was it forbidden to kiss before marriage? How on earth did you marry him when he is what you have described? Marriage of convenience? Pray do tell! Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till I am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, I wonna be kissed, I wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! he will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. so I am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. so tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. Get a divorce. Sounds like this isn't so much of him being selfish as it is that he just can't last that long. He could go see a doctor about it. But you aren't "getting yours", so divorce if he doesn't go seek help. I have never been the cheating kind but I am fixing to go there!! Sorry, if you are thinking of cheating, and really are about to "go there", then you ARE the cheating kind. I wasn't getting my needs met in my marriage, but you didn't see me going out and boning other women, much less thinking about it. You either have cheating in your character, or you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Because I think this is a ploy to get him to care again, desire her. Maybe If she feels that other men desire her than she'll feel desirable again, he'll take notice of her new found sex aura and becoming into her again? If she really wanted to leave him and just screw around then I think this is something she would have mentioned doing...but I think she's just trying to get him to care and is venting her frustration...whether she can actually do it is an altogether other thing. Be careful what you do though...you'll have to live with that regret, once you cheat it's all downhill from there...the trust is never the same. Try to work out your relationship issues...If that doesn't work and you're not making each other happy and loving each other, then get a divorce and get piped down as often as you'd like without feeling guilty. THIS IS RIGHT!!! I HAVE NOT CHEATED! but I want to feel loved, desired its always great in the start!!! I am for one it should never die!!! thank you for understanding Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Get a divorce. Sounds like this isn't so much of him being selfish as it is that he just can't last that long. He could go see a doctor about it. But you aren't "getting yours", so divorce if he doesn't go seek help. Sorry, if you are thinking of cheating, and really are about to "go there", then you ARE the cheating kind. I wasn't getting my needs met in my marriage, but you didn't see me going out and boning other women, much less thinking about it. You either have cheating in your character, or you don't. I have asked him to go to the doctor.....he says I am going to go..then guess what,!!!! nothing!!! I told him that he claims he loves me but does he really? I am one that has to feel that you love me and that is through touch. I have not cheated!!! let me say I have not cheated! but what do you have to do to make him see that you are ready to give up? even talked about divorce. he has commited the cheating he says he has not slept with no one but hands all over her body and hugging and slappin her backside and sitting in the back as she said giving me the come have sex with me look!!!! what about your WIFE!!! I just don't get it Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Did you ever think to figure all of this out before getting married...? It is always good in the start and you know most people don't focuse on sex in the start its a bonus but well I am just different I focused on how it felt just to be in his presence!!! to just have him by my side. sex was the bond. I did figure it out before I married him. and you know what?, sad thing is I still love him. I have not left, and I have not cheated. I guess I am of my word I make a commitment I have stood by it but I want to be loved I wonna feel love!!!! not just you telling me!!! I want to feel it!!! that is how I function! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Why not get divorced? Or better: Why not get divorced before he finds out about your cheating? FIRST OFF I AM NOT CHEATING. I said that I am about to. I want to feel love. I want to be shown by the touch. not just words. words are a dime a dozen!! SHOW ME! you cant think for one second that always getting yours and never taking care of your wife will end good. maybe if I cheated he woud see that I am beautiful and others will take his place if he does not want me. Hell at least be honest and let me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 Why in the world did you marry him in the first place? This is so screwed up. WHY DID I MARRY HIM?......... 1. I LOVED HIM AND I STILL DO 2. HE WAS MY ROCK 3. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE WHEN TIMES WERE THE HARDEST 4. HE MADE IT PERFECT IN THE START 5. HE PROMISED HE WOULD ALWAYS LOVE ME 6. HE PROMISED HE WOULD LOVE ME AND PROTECT ME 7. HE LOVES MY DAUGHTER AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON!!!!! I HAVE NOT CHEATED.. I SAID THAT I AM ABOUT TO. I wonna feel love, I feel love through touch. and touch we do not have. There is something to say when one has to do all the work and the other does not care. I am at my wits end, there are other offers of relationsips of careing for me. I have not acted on them but I just am so mad that he takes and cares for nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 What cheats always say: "I needed xyz, and you didn't give that to me." In their minds, that gives the right to tell lies, conceal the truth, and break every promise they ever made. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 i am married to a person that shows no love and its 2 strokes and he is done. I have talked till i am blue in the face. I have told him bluntly, still nothing. He does not even like to kiss! I am fed up!!! I am gonna take care of me and that is it!! I wonna be loved, i wonna be kissed, i wonna be made to feel like someone cares!!! He will not do anything about the way things are. He seems as if he has no experience with sex at all, cause he sucks!! I hate being so mean but he just will not try anything. So i am gonna get mine! I know that is mean. So tell me what to do. He says he never has been able to last well maybe cause he thinks of getting his and cares nothing of his partner. I have never been the cheating kind but i am fixing to go there!! just want to say that he has cheated....he claims not sex, but when you put your hands all over another womans body...make sexual enuwindows of ther body and how you would wonna "get that" and sit in the back room with the come have sex look...you cheated.... Why you have a wife at home that is willing to make you happy but you cant put her feelings in there you car only for yours so how do you expect it to turn out? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 *I wonna feel love, I feel love through touch. and touch we do not have. There is something to say when one has to do all the work and the other does not care. I am at my wits end, there are other offers of relationsips of careing for me. I have not acted on them but I just am so mad that he takes and cares for nothing. Brace yourself, you are about to receive a Universal Truth. To be loved, be loving. To find peace, be peaceful. To find forgiveness, be forgiving. To be cared about, be caring. To be treated kindly, be kind. To be understood, be understanding. To have friends, be friendly. And so on, into infinity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted May 20, 2015 Author Share Posted May 20, 2015 My husband is alot like this. If someone doesn't care, then they don't care. When I've spoken to him about it, I get, "I'm sorry that I'm selfish." And that's the end of the conversation. Since my husband is ok with me engaging in sexual relations with women and I have bi-sexual tendencies, I'm thinking about starting up a relationship with a woman to get my needs met in that department. I honestly don't have any advice about how to fix a problem with someone when you're met with a brick wall, other then to go around it. Then again, we have other issues in our relationship where he has a hard time making me feel like a wanted partner. For example, this year he forgot my birthday, mother's day, and our anniversary, even though he was reminded ahead of time. I guess it's not so much forgetting as choosing to ignore. Yet, he went out and bought himself a model air plane which cost him several hundred dollars. On top of that, he tells me that I don't do enough. I'm guessing that I need to come home, cook dinner, do dishes, do laundry and clean the house every single day, plus make him feel needed and wanted and be interested in all of his hobbies and maybe then he would deem it acceptable to show occasionally that he cares. I really hope that you guys are sucessful figuring out your marital issues before you cheat. I don't ever condone cheating, no matter how crappy your partner makes you feel. I also have not cheated but that is what I am talking about....you can remember you but what about your wife? Link to post Share on other sites
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