without Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I don't know what to do with my life, This year I will be graduated from uni. I don't know what to do after that, i guess all my life I've been just studying. also i feel tired and emotionally drained, last year my bf of one year left me and I was devastated, all summer i was crying. although he wasn't a perfect bf . I loved him but he wasn't a perfect match. some months ago I met a guy I really liked, we shared alot in common, i really enjoyed his company but from the first he said he doesn't want to date anyone so we continued to be just friends although he said no but we talked alot and saw each-other and had a pretty good time then he suddenly backed off saying he doesn't feel right, something like depression but i don't know. He didn't talk much and I started to read about depression and tried to help but I didn't exactly know what was wrong or how he felt about me or anything. I put so much effort and i really wanted this to work but it didn't work. turns out he's even angry at me. Anyway there's a thread I posted here about him, so I'm tired of not knowing what's wrong with him or does he even like me. I have no idea what to do with my life, I thought about living abroad as its really hard living here and i can't live by myself unless I get married in this country. but i can live free in another country but I will be alone, all by myself. as i don't have anyone abroad and its a big problem for me .and I don't have enough money so I should study hard and find some university that accepts me, which I don't know whether i can or not. I just wish somehow life ends. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 You could indeed look into studying and working abroad. A lot will depend on your degree and the country you live in (visas can be absolute hell!). It can be a great learning experience, and also a good opportunity to "get away" from life as you knew it. Sometimes the present is just too comfortable, reminding you too much of past struggles. If you have the opportunity (financially speaking), you can also try and take a year for yourself, and do things to your heart's desires. Perhaps that can provide you with some positive feedback, and ideas of how to shape the rest of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 I've spent a lot of time abroad and find it gives you a whole wealth of learning experiences and opportunities for growth. It can also be very challenging (culturally, logistically, feeling lonely, and so on). There are quite a lot of volunteer programs around that you can look into - with some of these they set you up with basic accommodation and so on, so while you wouldn't make lots of money you wouldn't necessarily spend any, either. Another option, if your degree allows, is to go abroad to teach English. I think feeling a bit lost at the end of your undergraduate degree is very normal, so don't let it get you down too much, and try to think of it as an opportunity for shaping the life that's ahead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author without Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 Thanks guys. English isn't my first language so I don't think i can teach in another country. I definitely can't afford living abroad unless I get an scholarship of some kind, but I don't think I can, my major is Spanish (it's not my first language either) and I like to study Spanish literature for M.A . I prefer an English-speaking country, preferably Canada maybe? But they require lots of money and great grades I guess. which i don't have. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Is there a career service at your university where you can get some practical advice? They should have an overview over how to find scholarships, arenas for finding work both domestically and abroad, and so on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author without Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 It doesn't have. but I can ask some of our professors, but i guess they don't know anything about English-speaking countries. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Don't let not being a native speaker of the language stop you. I have lived and worked a few years abroad, even did some editing in a foreign language (even though most of my colleagues were native speakers). Some countries' are not very strict on the kind of grades you need to have to study there. And it can be relatively cheap as well. Definitely check out with your university career service. Check your options. Volunteering is an option as well as denise mentioned. It can be a pain to organize if you happen to have citizenship of the "wrong" country. If you have a niche interest, you could even contact a relevant organization, and see how much space they do have. Usually they are reasonably aware of how to get volunteers in, so they could even guide you a bit with the process as well. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 OP, what are your interests? What are some of the things that you think you would enjoy doing professionally? What kind of work would be relevant with the education you have taken now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author without Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 I'll give it a try. thanks for sharing your thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author without Posted June 23, 2012 Author Share Posted June 23, 2012 oh and btw so you guys think that living abroad can be a good solution for me? Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 It can be good for you. Don't do things, just to be away from where you are. It is also very important that you want to be where you are going to go to. I am not really sure about your personal circumstances / social environment. What is "wrong" there? Why are you unhappy where you are? These simple questions often do not have simple answers. Answers you will need to find, before you take such a massive step as going to live in a foreign country. You have to wonder if you can manage on your own - if you lack in initiative, living abroad can be very difficult, especially if there are large cultural barriers to overcome. So, if you decide that you are interested in going to Canada for a bit, do some research on Canada, its people, its customs, its weather etc.. So that you at least have a bit of a feel of what you are getting yourself into. Try and meet Canadians (if possible), to see what they say about their country. You must give it some serious thought. But if you think you are up for the challenge, go! Foreign experience can be truly amazing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Living abroad is not a magic bullet for escaping unhappiness. But it can be a great learning experience. IME, it takes about a year to really settle a place - to get your head around how society works (culturally and logistically), to build a social base, and to feel at home. That first year can be hard, and you may feel quite lonely at times if you don't know anyone there before you leave. I agree with d'Arthez that research beforehand is really important. Having something meaningful to go to (in the form of either study or work) is key. If you take a graduate degree, it's usually relatively easy to meet new people in an university environment. If you go to work, you might find it more challenging to develop a social base. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Take a gap year and live in another country. Even if you wind up working as a waitress. A change of environment is always good because you get a fresh perspective. Who knows who you might meet, either romantically or business wise? Link to post Share on other sites
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