Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 123, I sincerely hope you date women that view men, exactly like you view women. That is my most sincere and deepest wish for you. Carry on in your lamination for all things "over-weight women". I know how you enjoy yourself that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Carry on in your lamination for all things "over-weight women". I know how you enjoy yourself that way. Has he been laminating women again? I've told him time and time again that he could end up in prison for that if he's caught ... Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 We hold women to a higher level of over coming certain natural biologies then we hold men to. Really? I don't think so. If a man's "natural biology" is to spread his seeds far and wide, we are holding him to a completely unnatural state by sanctioning and promoting monogamy in our culture. If a man's "natural biology" is to notice sexy women wherever he goes - you certainly believe he needs to be held to "over coming" that. You don't seem to want to acknowledge that while men lusting after other women is natural, so is it natural to have your own feelings toward your mates interest in other people Well, say they are both equally natural. You are eternally ranting about how men should "over come" their "natural" predispostion. You often say they should be "better than" what is natural. And they should not do it because it hurts women. But you NEVER say that YOU should "over come" your "natural" feelings about your mate's interest in other people (which is probably not even 'interest' per se). Even though they would almost certainly be hurtful to any man you happened to get involved with who had this natural predisposition. Why is HE supposed to subvert his nature to accommodate YOUR nature? While YOU are permitted to carry on being the way you "naturally" are? Can you explain that, please? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 Mme. Chaucer Really? I don't think so. If a man's "natural biology" is to spread his seeds far and wide, we are holding him to a completely unnatural state by sanctioning and promoting monogamy in our culture. But we don't simply promote monogamy in our culture. When men are caught in situations that are overtly sexual, while there may be some backlash there is also a lot of "he's a man, what do you expect". On top of that, men are encouraged to make sexual conquests of women. In the history of our country, mistresses where normal for men while cheating women where seen as wearing the scarlet A. Here is a link to an article on Pyschology Today that talks about cultural messages that are reinfornced for men: Learning about "Great Sex" From Popular Magazines There is a duality in our culture and it's not simply a culture that jsut promotes mongoamy. Infact, today, I think there is more out there not supporting monogamy then there is supporting monogamy. If a man's "natural biology" is to notice sexy women wherever he goes - you certainly believe he needs to be held to "over coming" that. What i believe is that self control is a great thing to exercise if you can. Do I expect a man to never notice a pretty woman ever again? No. Do I think he needs to "over come" attraction to women in general? No. I never said that. What I did say is that some behaviors that are encouraged in men should be exercised differently. Just as I've learned to better manage my emotions with men. Where I would have let my boyfriend suffer through a lot of my emotions simply becaues I was feeling them. I have learned to control those aspects of myself better with age. Ultimately, I think both men and women respect self control and discipline in the other gender. Whether it comes to money, health, work or sexual practices sometimes. Well, say they are both equally natural. You are eternally ranting about how men should "over come" their "natural" predispostion. You often say they should be "better than" what is natural. And they should not do it because it hurts women. That isn't exactly what I've said Mme. You're really very brokeningly talking about my opinion in a water-down and only half true account. I have said over and over again that when in a couple, you need to think about the other person. I naturally don't always feel like having sex, but I have made an effort to have sex during times I didn't feel like it because I knew it was important to my partner. I don't think we are *just* our biologies. And I think that often in these discussion, a woman's own biological response to her mates interest in other women is pushed aside in favor of his own biological response. This is more true to my point then anything you've attempted to push off on me. But you NEVER say that YOU should "over come" your "natural" feelings about your mate's interest in other people (which is probably not even 'interest' per se). Even though they would almost certainly be hurtful to any man you happened to get involved with who had this natural predisposition. Oh but I have! Because I have clearly said before that it is just as important for women to manage their emotions in a relationship as it is for men to. I do not think women get to just spew whatever emotions they may be feeling on a man simply because she feels them. I DO think that a woman needs to be understanding toward male sexuality at times. Which is why I think it's important for women that aren't having sex with their partners for long periods of time to be serious about dealing with that for her and his sake if she wants a healthy relationship. But in my opinion, male sexual behavior is often justified and explained more then anything else. Why is HE supposed to subvert his nature to accommodate YOUR nature? While YOU are permitted to carry on being the way you "naturally" are? Can you explain that, please? I don't know because I never said that women should just "act" any way they feel naturally. Infact, I have argued about that exact point. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Has he been laminating women again? I've told him time and time again that he could end up in prison for that if he's caught ... I'm such a collector, bigger the better. DY confuses what I and a lot of guys look for when we look for a new GF with what it takes to keep the relationship going. They are not the same at all, I've said so many times, but that fact just falls to the floor every time. Men see women much differently than women see men, that's how it is and both genders have selection criteria that the other has to live up to. As we go flying past 7 billion units in service it occurs to me the system must be working fairly well. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I don't know because I never said that women should just "act" any way they feel naturally. Infact, I have argued about that exact point. We aren't talking about all the billions of things you "never said." We are talking about the handful of things you always say, which are very one sided. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I have no clue what men are looking for except the persistant and ever nagging desire for men to want to treat women like interchangable dolls who remain perputually young and perfect.You'll find a subset of men who believe this. The irony of it is that they're the least likely to be partnered. Causative, in that their expectations exceed their own abilities to attract. If you delve further into these types of men, you'll also find they're pretty unhappy with themselves with very low self-esteem so they're looking for the perfect trophy to help them feel worthy of something...anything. A vicious circle of reliance on external validation to fuel the lack internally where the external validation never comes and even if it does, will never be enough to feed the gaping, black, empty maw. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 You'll find a subset of men who believe this. The irony of it is that they're the least likely to be partnered. Causative, in that their expectations exceed their own abilities to attract. If you delve further into these types of men, you'll also find they're pretty unhappy with themselves with very low self-esteem so they're looking for the perfect trophy to help them feel worthy of something...anything. A vicious circle of reliance on external validation to fuel the lack internally where the external validation never comes and even if it does, will never be enough to feed the gaping, black, empty maw. A voice of reason as usual threebyfate. You're right. I sometimes seem to forget this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 I'm such a collector, bigger the better. DY confuses what I and a lot of guys look for when we look for a new GF with what it takes to keep the relationship going. They are not the same at all, I've said so many times, but that fact just falls to the floor every time. Men see women much differently than women see men, that's how it is and both genders have selection criteria that the other has to live up to. As we go flying past 7 billion units in service it occurs to me the system must be working fairly well. 123, I am not confusing at all what *you* look for in a girlfriend. I have already told you that I hope you find a woman that treats you exactly like you treat women. You deserve that and I wish that for you. If you are looking for thin and young girlfriends, then I hope you find them. And I hope she commodifies you, as you commodify her. And I hope she gets to benefit from the money you can supply her and trade for her youthful companionship. There are many different types of men in the world and I am not looking for one that tends to have the thought patterns you do. Especially the ones that come to women. I have dated men of all different types. Men that were very well off and men that weren't. I learned a long time ago that I can't be with someone just because they offer money. I could have been easily married by now and well set up if I wanted that route. I am looking for something different. Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 123, I am not confusing at all what *you* look for in a girlfriend. I have already told you that I hope you find a woman that treats you exactly like you treat women. You deserve that and I wish that for you. If you are looking for thin and young girlfriends, then I hope you find them. And I hope she commodifies you, as you commodify her. And I hope she gets to benefit from the money you can supply her and trade for her youthful companionship. There are many different types of men in the world and I am not looking for one that tends to have the thought patterns you do. Especially the ones that come to women. I have dated men of all different types. Men that were very well off and men that weren't. I learned a long time ago that I can't be with someone just because they offer money. I could have been easily married by now and well set up if I wanted that route. I am looking for something different. You made me smile already and it's still so early in the morning. Thanks. My GF just had a sort of unexpected windfall from her business and is insisting she wants to buy me the motorcycle I've been sort of eyeballing, shall I tell her that's not the way our relationship works? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted July 27, 2012 Author Share Posted July 27, 2012 You made me smile already and it's still so early in the morning. Thanks. My GF just had a sort of unexpected windfall from her business and is insisting she wants to buy me the motorcycle I've been sort of eyeballing, shall I tell her that's not the way our relationship works? Huh? your relationship should work any way that works for you and her. I am baffled by your need to rave about yourself often. You appear to attach some of your worth to your female partners. Link to post Share on other sites
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