Bestfriendsickness Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Hi there. I am going through the most difficult time of my life. I have had a best friend for as long as I can remember, since the third grade to be exact,and I have totally fallen in love with her. That's not really the problem, the problem is we promised to be totally honest with one another as friends and all. Well we made that promise in the 4th grade and I've held back my feelings up until now (11th). She is the Pastors daughter so naturally to avoid problems shes not supposed to date, or show affection for any particular person. Still thats not the problem, I have no problem waiting until we are 18 to share my feelings with her. The problem is i think she is hiding something from me, just like i am hiding something from her. However I don't think it really involves me that much. See, for a while now, she has been acting very much like she is all eyes for this other guy at church. I also know that this guy likes her. They have been friends for a while but, not nearly as long as her and I have. This guy also happens to be the guy EVERY girl flirts with or goes out with. He's Mr. Popular in a sense. And naturaly I mess with her and sya stuff like, "Cassie is in love with Jordan" and stuff. And naturally she says, "No i don't! Shut up!" But then she goes around doing stuff like in the middle of dance practice when Jordan's instructing she'll run up and hug him and say, "Sorry i couldn't help it" Then her photo album is full of pictures of him, probably 95%. On top of that she hardly ever hangs out with me at church, because shes ALWAYS with him, and the're ALWAYS like 2 inches apart. I'm afraid that i might lose any chance with her because she has never acted like this towards any guy before. Which makes me want to tell her everything, and ask her how she feels about Jordan. But, I'm afraid that our friendship might be torn in two because its awkward being around me or somin. She means so much to me, enough to the point where if i can only have her friendship then I will. What the heck should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
lonely4him Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 My gosh! Sounds like you have a problem. Ummmm....yea I think she might like this guy, the photo album thing and 2 inches apart. Have you ever really tried to pursue her? Try doing nice stuff for her, maybe see if you all can go out to a park or movie. Get her away from the school's mack daddy. It's ok to be honest with your best friend, but when it could potentially destroy your whole friendship.....you may want to give it some thought. Or put it on here. Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Bestfriendsickness Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Thanks so much for your thoughts. I have tried to do everything possible to be a gentleman and somehow get her to notice my feelings. I'm polite to other girls, opening doors, giving them the front seat in the car, etc. but I go all out for her. I have taken her to the movies a few times but it was really as friends and just to keep any real suspicion down from her parents, (The Pastor), I brought other friends of ours. I really don't want to mess this thing up. If there is one person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, it's her. Unless someone else just pops into my life out of nowhere, which, is most unlikely. Anyways, thank you for your advice, please, keep up the posts. Bestfriendsickness Link to post Share on other sites
Nameless Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 no chance at all Link to post Share on other sites
Bestfriendsickness Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 What do you mean "no chance at all." Nameless? Link to post Share on other sites
itsallgood Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Bestfriendsickness, I could not understand your situation any better. I have had a girl in my life for years that has not only been one of my best friends, but also the object of my most sincere affection. She has been the one girl, in all my aquaintances, that I can see myself with for the rest of my life. We share so many things and I have the best time of my life when I am with her. Our relationship, as yours is, is one of total honesty. I have shared everything with her over the years as she has shared everything with me. However, their is that one secret that I have withheld for her for some time now. I am in love with her and its so difficult to even attempt letting her know. Everytime I muster enough courage, I look at her, and my fortitude is immediately crushed. I become a speechless mouse. I try with all my will to overcome my fear of rejection but it is just to unbearable. I hope someday I will become brave enough to approach, and yet I feel a pressing urgentness asserting itself on the situation. Last July we graduated high school and have since gone to different colleges. We talk everyday and whenever we are both home we see each other, however the distance of different school (I am in Massachusetts and she is in Maryland), I feel, is going to hinder my abilities to tell her. There is one thing that she always tells me that wrenches my heart. We met in 9th grade by means of a biology teacher that accidentally sat me next to her. The class was seated alphabetically and her last name starts with W and mine starts with B. As a result she routinely tells me it was fate that brought us together. Everytime she says this I want nothing more than to tell her we were meant for each other and we are perfect for each other, but everytime I shy away in fear that something will happen to our friendship. We share a common problem and I hope your situation turns out for the best. As for me I hope to tell her how I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 I don't know... I did just ask out a friend of mine (not a friends as long as you guy were friends) and she got mad and now doesn't want to be friends. So it could be bad or it could be good. Even after all the loss and crying, I still say go for it. Knowing but in pain is better than not knowing and be in anxiety. Link to post Share on other sites
matt10020 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Its a crap problem, to tell or not to tell. I've lost one of my best mates by telling her how i feel but its better than living your life not knowing. just one word of advice, be calm and if u don't get the reaction u expect 4 god sake don't get angry and cry! It doesn't help trust me! At least if u no u can get on with your life and not spent it waiting 4 something that might never happen. They call it first love because there's usually more than one in your life Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Your window of oportunity went away in 4th grade. Sorry man. You are now uber best friend. If you like being horribly tortured with stories about the guy she dates, then you are in a fantastic postition. If not, well then i guess you are kinda up the creek. The only way you have a chance with this girl is to dissapear for like 2 years then re-emmerge into her life. BUT for that to work, you are gonna have to treat her as more than a friend when you return. You probably have about a 0.00000001% chance of getting with her now. If you follow my plan and do it properly, you will have about a 50% chance of going out with her later. The whole friends thing really mess's stuff up. Best to just move on to a new girl. Easier said than done, i know. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BOZZ_6 Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 hey man I have the same problem. I think u should tell her how u don't want to ruin yor relationship but that you are in love with her. I told her but she still hasn't given her a straight answer. I dont want to sound concieted but I have given her my heart and she stomped on it. I'm a believer too and I guess the good guys dont get anything good for being so good. Anyways girls are so dam confusing. I would tell her and be a sweetheart and you have to try to keep the relationship the same if she says no. Don't just quit because she did. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartSprinkles Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by Bestfriendsickness If there is one person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, it's her. Unless someone else just pops into my life out of nowhere, which, is most unlikely. Bestfriendsickness I can't believe that you wrote that!!! I highly doubt you met your soul-mate at highschool. You are too young to understand that there will always be someone else. First loves are meant to be first, and all the loves after that are the ones where your soul-mate maybe waiting. You should date some other people, and just be young, do not worry about spending the rest of your life with someone! I think that you should just remain friends... Really good friends are very hard to come by, and if you screw it up then you will lose everything. Don't forget about FATE! If you are meant to be together, then you will be together, now... (which I don't recommend), or some years from now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lionheart777 Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Where to start? well im in love with my friend she is 15 her name is Amber we both are alot alike and get along great! But im to nervous to ask her out even though we are both available to date Link to post Share on other sites
Lionheart777 Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Oh yeah before i forget im new and i can't stop thinking about her!!! Link to post Share on other sites
aron Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 IM in love with my friend. She keeps on sending me mixed signals. one day she will flirt with me the other she wont. She will touch my arm,tel me she loves me and that im her favorite, and tells my best friend to not take me away from her. Then some days she wont, like once a week. Then today she was flirting with one of my friends right in front of me. She doesnt tell anyother guy friend that she loves him or she doesnt want anyone to take them away fro her. WHAT DO I DO! I dont want to ask her out and get rejected and ruin our friendship. Please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
aron Posted December 8, 2005 Share Posted December 8, 2005 Im in love with me best friend. She flirts with me one day then the next she wont really flirt with me. She sends me mixed signals, im very confused. She will touch my arm several times in one class period, and she will tell me she loves me sometimes twice a day, and one day she said she didnt want one of my friends to take me away from her. she wont say that to any of her guy friends. especially that she loves them or her touching them. everytime we walk next to each other she will drift closer to me, like shes rubbing against me, tghen some days she wont. im confused i dont want to ask her out and get rejected, and i dont want to lose our friendship. WHAT DO I DO. Today she flirted big time with one of my friends right in front of me,ive never seen her flirt with him like this before. after class i asked her if she liked him and she said no. so i dont know if she does like him or shes trying to make me jealous. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. WHAT DO I DO!?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 I have a very dear female friend that I have been friends with for almost ten years. We both told each other about our relationships over the years and shared both good times and bad. I developed feelings for her at some point and kept it quiet. Then she told me one day that she contemplated the same thing with me at one time, which made me smile. Then we just moved on with our friendship as usual. I think it's probably a given that these other friends have at least considered the possibility, so do ask them. Be prepared for an answer you don't want, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Trust me dont say anything. Hide your fealings try to 4get about her in that way i know thats imposible but do not say anything if you tell her you will loose her. She values friendship more and doese not see you in that way other wise she would not be like that with MR popular stick to being friends and worship that more than anything else cuz once you loose the friendship you treasure so much you will be a completely different person. I was in the same situation and i told her how i felt i told her that i would give up everything in the world for her to love me as much as i love you she replied "but the point being ive known you too long as a friend and i cant see you in that way. I love more than anything but not in that way." we vowed to stay friends she started dating someone else it tore my heart and we have not spoken in 3 months the friendship circle we were in is no longer there and ive moved into another circle of friends as its far awkward for me to be there now shes broke up with him im casuly dating someone else but the friendship circles gone for ever. Please do not take a gamble on this you are only goin to regret the outcome 4 months down the line. p.s admire what you have Link to post Share on other sites
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