Hurt and confused

[GlitterGal]

Hi, I'm new on here, and would really like to hear your advice on this problem I am having. I have been dating Mike about 8 months now, and at first it was all great. Then he went to jail and I moved 4 hours away. I didn't hear from him in 3 months, and when we did get together, I was so excited. He changed so much. He was all clingy and wouldn't take his hands off me the entire time. 2 weeks later, he asked me to marry him. I really freaked out because I was starting to have doubts about us working out by that time, and am definatley NOT ready for marriage. Then I met this other guy (we'll call him Joe), a friend of my roomate. Joe and I hit it off well. So well we ended up in bed together. I really felt bad about hurting my boyfriend who is a really nice guy, but I was having my doubts about him. I have now been sleeping with Joe for a month, and am growing more and more unattracted to Mike. I am starting to fall for Joe, but I think he only wants me for sex. That hurts too. Should I break up with Mike? What should I do about Joe? I think Mike's clinginess is getting to me, what should I do about that? I'm so confused right now. Please help in anyway you can. Many thanks

[synik]

Your boyfriend is in jail and he is a good guy. I guess the authorities just don't understand him. And then you cheat on him? My dear, focus on the person who treats you right and remember it's all right to just say screw them all and start all over. I am so bad at advice.

[Tony T]

Break up with Mike. You don't need a horny ex-jailbird being clingy because he has been around all men for three months and is in dire need. And you aren't really in love with him or as attracted to him as you were.

 

If you feel Joe is only wanting you for sex, back out of the bedroom and see what happens. Put him through the test. If he still takes you out and does fun things with you minus the sex part, reconsider your position. If you don't hear from him anymore, write him off too.

 

Life is too short. It's really good that you are going with your feelings and being somewhat practical as well. Stay away from the guys getting out of jail and needy of a female and stay away from the guys using you for sex.

 

Now, guys won't use you if you don't let them. A guy who really cares for you will put off the sex thing for some bit of time. If you jump right into the sack with them, what the hell do you expect???

 

Stand up for yourself and go with your feelings. It sounds like you have a really good inner voice. Start listening and paying attention to that voice a lot more!!!

[DrizzBliss]

I think you should leave them both, and for future reference never use sex as leverage in a relationship(Tony's advice) I know to many guys that would terminate the relationship because of it.