A Q for strict parents who only allow their kids a tiny amount of time to watch TV

[turnera]

I think you're probably right where balance is concerned. I personally never understood the 'TV is the root of all evil' mindset -

Tell that to the 33% of all kids who are now obese who spend 10 hours in front of a tv or screen to every hour on their feet.

[turnera]

Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude. It just gets my goat. We are NOT here to be our kids' friends, to give them what they want, to make sure they're happy all day. We're here to help show them how to have a life full of fun, dedication, accomplishments, HEALTHY habits, and love of learning, so that they can grow up and be complete adults who have fulfilling lives.

[Ross MwcFan]

Show me the benefits of spending 15 hours in front of a screen.

 

Lol, I never said there were benefits of spending 15 hours in front of a screen.

[turnera]

Lol, I never said there were benefits of spending 15 hours in front of a screen.

Exactly. There are lots of benefits of showing your kids how to fish, of going biking with them, of having them help you strip your car, of reading a book together, working on a jigsaw puzzle together, of going camping...of basically creating a life for your kids where they know that they are your priority and they are loved and wanted. As well as sending them outside every day and saying 'go have fun' and letting them figure out HOW to have fun on their own, using their own minds. Rather than letting a tv or computer screen do that FOR them.

[Els]

Tell that to the 33% of all kids who are now obese who spend 10 hours in front of a tv or screen to every hour on their feet.

 

Is this called balance to you? Seriously, have some logic in your arguments, or at least read the posts you quote and tell me where I advocated letting children watch TV as much as they like, much less 10 hours a day.

[Els]

As is dismissing and not attempting to understand the opinions of those that know of a time before newer inventions. Which brings us full circle.

 

Maybe, just maybe, instead of thinking "I never had TV, I'm great, therefore TV is bad"; those that disagree can see the influence TV has had because they also know of life without TV, whereas some do not.

 

Maybe, just maybe, those that have lived both ways should be heard, not shouted down.

 

Okay, what do you think of parents who don't allow their kids to go out with friends, and insist on them studying 10 hours a day, because they have known such a life themselves as children? Or of parents who insist on their children praying 5 times a day and veiling themselves because they have known such a life themselves as children? Or of parents refusing to let their children ever use the computer because 'it is bad' and they themselves were not able to use it as children?

 

You will say that all of those are extremes - I say that the principle is the same. It is possible that the children of someone who bans TV in the home for their entire lives will grow up great and successful individuals. It is more likely that they will grow up failing to socialize because they have received such different upbringings from their peers, and are unable to converse because TV and celebrities constitute a huge part of pre-teen conversation nowadays. To quote a TV example, seen Butters in South Park? That IS actually how the majority of children with extremely strict upbringings by parents who refused to change with the times, turn out like. Or at least those that I've seen.

 

Limit your child, guide your child, only allow TV after work is done, etc. Don't make your child grow up never having seen a TV episode in his life or believing that TV is the spawn of the devil.

[Els]

Exactly. There are lots of benefits of showing your kids how to fish, of going biking with them, of having them help you strip your car, of reading a book together, working on a jigsaw puzzle together, of going camping...of basically creating a life for your kids where they know that they are your priority and they are loved and wanted. As well as sending them outside every day and saying 'go have fun' and letting them figure out HOW to have fun on their own, using their own minds. Rather than letting a tv or computer screen do that FOR them.

 

Actually, many programmers, web designers, game masters, etc quote their love of computers and everything related as starting from childhood experiences. Far too narrow-minded to say that a jigsaw puzzle necessarily helps a child more than a computer. If your child hits 18 without knowing how to use a computer or the internet because of YOUR doing, I can guarantee you that he/she will resent you for that far more than if he/she is not good with jigsaws. Computer knowledge is vital in the majority of careers today, and even to get through college usually.

[turnera]

right. And all those thousands of hours playing video games is what's gonna get you ahead in life. Reminds me of a comic strip where the parents are watching their kid (who they're afraid of telling he can't stay in front of the computer screen all day) and hoping he'll be able to earn a living some day testing video games.

[Crusoe]

Okay, what do you think of parents who don't allow their kids to go out with friends, and insist on them studying 10 hours a day, because they have known such a life themselves as children? Or of parents who insist on their children praying 5 times a day and veiling themselves because they have known such a life themselves as children? Or of parents refusing to let their children ever use the computer because 'it is bad' and they themselves were not able to use it as children?

 

You will say that all of those are extremes - I say that the principle is the same. It is possible that the children of someone who bans TV in the home for their entire lives will grow up great and successful individuals. It is more likely that they will grow up failing to socialize because they have received such different upbringings from their peers, and are unable to converse because TV and celebrities constitute a huge part of pre-teen conversation nowadays. To quote a TV example, seen Butters in South Park? That IS actually how the majority of children with extremely strict upbringings by parents who refused to change with the times, turn out like. Or at least those that I've seen.

 

Limit your child, guide your child, only allow TV after work is done, etc. Don't make your child grow up never having seen a TV episode in his life or believing that TV is the spawn of the devil.

 

I'm not saying TV is the root of all evil, just that your explanation of why some do, might not be correct.

 

For what it's worth, a few years ago I did a lot of work for some families that have chosen a different way of life to many. They have no TV or mod cons. At first I didn't agree, I thought the kids would grow up to be different, bullied and possibly outcasts in society. I didn't think it correct for their parents to impose their believes and way of life on kids that must eventually step into todays society on their own. Roll on to last year and I was asked to go do some more work for them. Got to say, the kids are now young adults and have turned out to be the most polite, productive and well adjusted people I have met in years. An absolute pleasure to be around and will doubtless do very well in life. Quite frankly, they put the rest of their generation to shame. Once I saw just what outstanding people they had become I changed my views on how their parents raised them.

[Crusoe]

To quote a TV example, seen Butters in South Park?

 

Sorry, no I haven't. About 10 years ago I decided life would be better without TV. It is.

[thatone]

I'm the strict parent that prompted the thread.

 

My nearly three year old daughter gets to watch one 20 minute episode of Diego a day. The rest of the time she reads or is read to or plays with other toys like dolls, Lego, puzzles etc, or we go to the park/ beach or a friends house.

 

A child that young should be exploring and learning about the world around them instead of watching tv all day. Too much tv suppresses creativity and development, and is bad for your physical health.

 

If we let her watch more tv, her behavior gets noticeably worse.

She loves books so I don't feel like we are depriving her of anything.

 

this all depends entirely on the human in question. human is the best word i can come up with, since the difference is age.

 

kids cartoons? garbage, i agree. it's nothing more than marketing of cheap toys and an adult vision of what kids want. TV is fantasy. the only fantasy kids have is being able to be loud and destructive for attention. that's why kids in kid TV shows are loud and destructive, that's what the adult marketing thinks kids want. they get to break stuff and yell vicariously through kid TV characters.

 

now, on the other hand adult TV has such a broad range that it's impossible to pigeonhole.

 

while storage wars is, surely, completely and utterly worthless, the wire and band of brothers are high art, for example. now you probably don't want your kid watching drug deals and corrupt cops, so you can't have your 5 year old watching the wire, but a teenager? sure. the same goes for certain movies. when you think about it, movies are the only form of art that america is better than the rest of the world at. not to say all movies are art, they're not, but some are.

[Els]

right. And all those thousands of hours playing video games is what's gonna get you ahead in life. Reminds me of a comic strip where the parents are watching their kid (who they're afraid of telling he can't stay in front of the computer screen all day) and hoping he'll be able to earn a living some day testing video games.

 

If you can't tell the difference between 'balanced play with limits' and 'thousands of hours' or 'all day', I'm frankly not certain you should even be a parent. Using people who watch TV '10 hours a day' or play computer games for 'thousands of hours' as an example for why balanced usage is EVIL FULLSTOP is so incredibly dumb and illogical that I don't see any use in engaging in further conversation with you. Good luck with your kids, hope they turn out well in spite of everything.

 

I'm not saying TV is the root of all evil, just that your explanation of why some do, might not be correct.

 

For what it's worth, a few years ago I did a lot of work for some families that have chosen a different way of life to many. They have no TV or mod cons. At first I didn't agree, I thought the kids would grow up to be different, bullied and possibly outcasts in society. I didn't think it correct for their parents to impose their believes and way of life on kids that must eventually step into todays society on their own. Roll on to last year and I was asked to go do some more work for them. Got to say, the kids are now young adults and have turned out to be the most polite, productive and well adjusted people I have met in years. An absolute pleasure to be around and will doubtless do very well in life. Quite frankly, they put the rest of their generation to shame. Once I saw just what outstanding people they had become I changed my views on how their parents raised them.

 

My experience has been fairly different. I grew up with kids with extremely strict parents - some of them were not even allowed to watch TV when they were 18. Most of them grew up meek little sheep, completely maladjusted to the real world and bowing to their parents' every demand at their current ages of 25-30. One of them gives her paycheck to her parents every month so that her mother can decide what to do with it and give her an allowance from it. Two of them, brothers aged 30+, have a midnight curfew and can't stay out for too long at a time, else they will receive multiple calls to go home. Needless to say, they are all still single and have never had a relationship in their lives.

 

Granted, I don't think it was TV in itself that caused all that, but it was a manifestation of extreme behaviour on their parents' part as a whole. The 'all or nothing' mentality, so to speak, rather than seeking a balance.

[Ross MwcFan]

If you can't tell the difference between 'balanced play with limits' and 'thousands of hours' or 'all day', I'm frankly not certain you should even be a parent. Using people who watch TV '10 hours a day' or play computer games for 'thousands of hours' as an example for why balanced usage is EVIL FULLSTOP is so incredibly dumb and illogical that I don't see any use in engaging in further conversation with you. Good luck with your kids, hope they turn out well in spite of everything.

 

 

 

My experience has been fairly different. I grew up with kids with extremely strict parents - some of them were not even allowed to watch TV when they were 18. Most of them grew up meek little sheep, completely maladjusted to the real world and bowing to their parents' every demand at their current ages of 25-30. One of them gives her paycheck to her parents every month so that her mother can decide what to do with it and give her an allowance from it. Two of them, brothers aged 30+, have a midnight curfew and can't stay out for too long at a time, else they will receive multiple calls to go home. Needless to say, they are all still single and have never had a relationship in their lives.

 

Granted, I don't think it was TV in itself that caused all that, but it was a manifestation of extreme behaviour on their parents' part as a whole. The 'all or nothing' mentality, so to speak, rather than seeking a balance.

 

I've noticed myself, that the very few kids who weren't allowed to play more than 30 mins of video games a day, or were only allowed to watch 'factual' programmes on the TV, or had to go to bed extreamly early, they always had hardly any confidence, were shy, they didn't have good social skills, and were considered outcasts by most of the other kids.

 

I'm not saying that it's just the actual limiting of the TV that does this, it's just the overall strict behaviour of their parents who seemed to be living in a different world from most other people. (Non strict well adjusted parents would not normally impose those things onto their kids, like not allowing them to watch TV or making them go to bed at about 7pm when they are around the age of about 10 for example).

Edited June 27, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Ross MwcFan]

right. And all those thousands of hours playing video games is what's gonna get you ahead in life. Reminds me of a comic strip where the parents are watching their kid (who they're afraid of telling he can't stay in front of the computer screen all day) and hoping he'll be able to earn a living some day testing video games.

 

She never mentioned that playing thousands of hours of video games was a good thing.

[denise_xo]

I don't really think you can assume that all parents who don't allow a lot of TV watching are generally strict in all other areas of life. The OP was specifically about TV viewing and video games, and the assertion was put forward that denying your child "a lot more time" for TV and video could potentially cause depression in children. I think it is this assertion in particular that a lot of posters reacted against, and I find that to be a very different topic from 30 year olds having a curfew at midnight or putting a ten year old to bed at 7.

[turnera]

If you can't tell the difference between 'balanced play with limits' and 'thousands of hours' or 'all day', I'm frankly not certain you should even be a parent. Using people who watch TV '10 hours a day' or play computer games for 'thousands of hours' as an example for why balanced usage is EVIL FULLSTOP is so incredibly dumb and illogical that I don't see any use in engaging in further conversation with you. Good luck with your kids, hope they turn out well in spite of everything.

Thank you. Mine is a senior at university and will be taking a year next summer to do internships and then returning to get her PhD in bioneurological research. Right now she's taking 3 summer courses. All her choices.

 

Elswyth, one of the other posters was trying to say that restricting tv is bad because, well, look at all the programmers and game developers who are going to come out of getting to watch as much tv as they want.

[SarahRose]

I've noticed myself, that the very few kids who weren't allowed to play more than 30 mins of video games a day, or were only allowed to watch 'factual' programmes on the TV, or had to go to bed extreamly early, they always had hardly any confidence, were shy, they didn't have good social skills, and were considered outcasts by most of the other kids.

 

I'm not saying that it's just the actual limiting of the TV that does this, it's just the overall strict behaviour of their parents who seemed to be living in a different world from most other people. (Non strict well adjusted parents would not normally impose those things onto their kids, like not allowing them to watch TV or making them go to bed at about 7pm when they are around the age of about 10 for example).

 

Just because you know a few kids that turned out that way doesn't mean tv and games are the cause.

 

What about before tv and games?

 

People managed to survive hundreds of years without either.

 

You seem to think the video games and tv are necessities in life. They aren't.

 

I don't watch tv at all. I seldom watched it as a child as it was black and white and just a couple channels. We watched Disney on Saturday nights. We watched the olympics.

 

Computers didn't exist for the home when I was young. Video games existed in my late teens but only at the arcade.

 

I was certainly not deprived and video games have nothing to do with being in IT absolutely nothing.

 

The reason you can't see what rubbish they are is because you haven't done without.

 

The reason you think other things are boring is because tv and video games cause short attention spans.

 

I spent my childhood reading, making tree houses, fishing, riding my bike, outside playing and it was never boring.

 

And yes there are far too many parents who use the tv and internet as babysitters. It is easy but very damaging for children.

 

As an adult, I find tv very depressing and violent. Especially the news. I am not subjected to commercials telling me to gorge on fast food all night and get to the doctor to get the latest drug. So I simply don't watch it.

[turnera]

I always suggest to people that they try going without tv/computer for one day. Just to see what it's like. You know, like a fast. They always come back and say 'wow, I'd forgotten what it was like to play basketball with my friends' or 'the quiet was really calming, I'd forgotten what that was like' or 'wow, I had a lot of fun with my kids, just hanging out together outside.'

 

There's nothing at all wrong with tv and computers/games. I'm glad I live in this era to enjoy it all. I just worry that people will forget what else is important, because it's so easy to get sucked into it for hours upon hours and then, you've blown your whole day, for what?

 

Now, mind you, I'm a reality show fanatic. I watch TONS of tv, and I'm on this computer way too much. I'm not some weird person telling you to get rid of them. Just don't miss out on everything else there is.

[Ross MwcFan]

Just because you know a few kids that turned out that way doesn't mean tv and games are the cause.

 

What about before tv and games?

 

People managed to survive hundreds of years without either.

 

You seem to think the video games and tv are necessities in life. They aren't.

 

I don't watch tv at all. I seldom watched it as a child as it was black and white and just a couple channels. We watched Disney on Saturday nights. We watched the olympics.

 

Computers didn't exist for the home when I was young. Video games existed in my late teens but only at the arcade.

 

I was certainly not deprived and video games have nothing to do with being in IT absolutely nothing.

 

The reason you can't see what rubbish they are is because you haven't done without.

 

The reason you think other things are boring is because tv and video games cause short attention spans.

 

I spent my childhood reading, making tree houses, fishing, riding my bike, outside playing and it was never boring.

 

And yes there are far too many parents who use the tv and internet as babysitters. It is easy but very damaging for children.

 

As an adult, I find tv very depressing and violent. Especially the news. I am not subjected to commercials telling me to gorge on fast food all night and get to the doctor to get the latest drug. So I simply don't watch it.

 

No offense, but you haven't read my post properly. You've completely missed my point and thought I was making a different one.

[Ross MwcFan]

I always suggest to people that they try going without tv/computer for one day. Just to see what it's like. You know, like a fast. They always come back and say 'wow, I'd forgotten what it was like to play basketball with my friends' or 'the quiet was really calming, I'd forgotten what that was like' or 'wow, I had a lot of fun with my kids, just hanging out together outside.'

 

There's nothing at all wrong with tv and computers/games. I'm glad I live in this era to enjoy it all. I just worry that people will forget what else is important, because it's so easy to get sucked into it for hours upon hours and then, you've blown your whole day, for what?

 

Now, mind you, I'm a reality show fanatic. I watch TONS of tv, and I'm on this computer way too much. I'm not some weird person telling you to get rid of them. Just don't miss out on everything else there is.

 

There was a time when I didn't have a computer, and the TV only had 4 channels and 99% of the time the TV shows were crap.

 

I just sat there completely bored all the time.

[xxoo]

kids cartoons? garbage, i agree. it's nothing more than marketing of cheap toys and an adult vision of what kids want. TV is fantasy. the only fantasy kids have is being able to be loud and destructive for attention. that's why kids in kid TV shows are loud and destructive, that's what the adult marketing thinks kids want. they get to break stuff and yell vicariously through kid TV characters.

 

There are now carefully produced cartoons for children that teach language, social skills, math, reading. Many of these are on PBS. If you are interested, look up Martha Speaks, Word Girl, Arthur, Cyber Chase, Word World, etc on pbskids.org. All of these shows also have computer games for children to play online, as an alternative to video games.

 

Granted, the same things can be learned from books or life, but at least there are some really good programs for children to watch when they do sit in front of the screen.

 

That is one more place for the parent to exert control. When the child is allowed to watch tv, what programming is the child allowed to watch?

[denise_xo]

There was a time when I didn't have a computer, and the TV only had 4 channels and 99% of the time the TV shows were crap.

 

I just sat there completely bored all the time.

 

Why didn't you go do something else? Do you think it's healthy for you (or anyone else) to be so dependent on TV and computer games to feel happy?

[turnera]

There was a time when I didn't have a computer, and the TV only had 4 channels and 99% of the time the TV shows were crap.

 

I just sat there completely bored all the time.

Then I would consider that a tragedy, that you wouldn't or couldn't take advantage of being in one of the most wonderful countries in the world and having access to everything it has to offer - and ignoring it all. That's a personal issue.

 

What are you gonna say on your deathbed? I wish I could have seen a few more tv shows? I wish I could have gotten to that next level on the game? That's sad.

[Ross MwcFan]

Why didn't you go do something else? Do you think it's healthy for you (or anyone else) to be so dependent on TV and computer games to feel happy?

 

There wasn't anything else to do.

[denise_xo]

There was a time when I didn't have a computer, and the TV only had 4 channels and 99% of the time the TV shows were crap.

 

I just sat there completely bored all the time.

 

I think this also goes against your entire argument. If my child felt the way that you did, it would be exactly because I had allowed that child to become too dependent on TV or a computer, and not involved him or her enough in alternative activities. So you have presented a pretty good case for restricting TV time with that post.