Radu Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 haha yeah, that's a good point there. For me I'd want to marry a guy because I want to be with him, not just to have kids. For committment and I'd certainly want that before having kids with him. But I've been married 4 years with no kids yet. Well, all i can say is that as your hubby is now here and you can't sanitize anymore the threads here, maybe we should start planting 'weird' ideeas in his head. Like ... having a baby. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 How long do you think most are married before having kids? Seems like a lot of people are together for awhile and then suddenly marry and have kids shortly after. Many of those people marry precisely because they've decided they want to have children then. They might have delayed marriage already, but when they were ready for kids, marriage made more sense. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 How long do you think most are married before having kids? IME with my own generation, most of whom got married in their early/mid 20's, children came relatively fast, if it wasn't a shotgun wedding. OTOH, my parents waited six years; upon reflection, I think that was driven by my dad, being that his first wife abandoned him during the war and took his daughters away. He was probably pretty circumspect about women and children when marrying my mom. It worked out, though; they were married until he died many years later. Myself, I was ready to have children when we married and we 'tried' from that point onward. However, we were both in our 40's at that point and both childless. It varies Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I thought I would want to be married for several years prior to having kids. A little under a year after I was married my husband and I got baby fever and decided to try. We have a beautiful 3 month old son now! We are one of those couples who were together a long time prior to marriage (4 years) and lived together for 2 1/2 years. So we had plenty of "alone time." I am 29 and my husband is 30, so due to our ages we decided to try earlier then we may if we had gotten married at a younger ages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TG1 Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 People generally wait a year, 2 years before having kids as soon as they get married or people even have kids right away Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 SO and I have been together for a grand total of about four years and we'll be together about 4 1/2 years by the time we get married. We're in our late 20s. By the time we get hitched, we'll have spent about 2 years total living together. In my experiences, it seems like most couples get married between 2 and 5 years of being together (if they didn't start dating as teenagers). The shorter the duration of time they've been together, or if they didn't live together beforehand, the longer they seem to wait before having kids. My parents were married about 2 years before my mom got pregnant. They'd been together for 5 years by then. Seems to be true for most other couples I know, too. But my brother's been with his wife for 13 years, married for 8, and still no kids. I'd like to start trying about 6 months, maybe a year after we get married. A -little- time at least to get settled in. We've decided to start checking in every 6 months or so after the wedding to see if we're ready to have kids yet, although I think we're both looking at the year mark. FWIW on birth control: I was put on combination pills and I absolutely don't recommend them. My blood pressure went through the roof. My NP didn't even bother to consider that maybe my high blood pressure was from the pill - the only reason I was switched to a progestin only one was because people with high blood pressure can't stay on combination pills. As soon as I was switched, I felt much better. When I was no combo pills, I had breakthrough bleeding every month, no sex drive, blood pressure was high, I felt depressed and lethargic often, etc. Switched to a POP and all of that vanished. No side effects! I feel like myself. Estrogen ends up causing a lot of the side effects. POPs are slightly less effective (like...98% I think?) but IMO, so worth it. We generally also use spermicide or condoms, or all three. It's been years and I haven't had problems. It happens here and there, but I've found that the vast majority of folks (Note: Not all, obviously) who claim they were using 2/3/7 forms of birth control will eventually admit they didn't always use it, skipped pills/took them late, put on a condom too late, the condom broke, etc. By all means, plan for the worst. I don't think there's anything wrong with having an agenda of how you'd like things to go. Life doesn't turn out as most of us would hope for it to, but...most people can eventually learn to roll with the punches, even with a baby earlier than planned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RickyLovesLucy Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 It's fine to make plans but sometimes shyte just happens. We got engaged in February and accidentally pregnant in September (on birth control) but didn't realize it until October. While we had planned on having children, a few years with just the two of us would have been nice. Doesn't matter though. Our little guy's the light of our life and now, I'm pregnant with our second, this time planned. Overall, roll with whatever life gives you, whether honey sweet or otherwise. Children are an incredible blessing. I'm sure you will cherish yours always. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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