Do I try again?

[Hopelessromantic3]

Id label this guy as somewhere between an acquaintance and a friend. We used to live near each other and I saw him a lot...started out hanging out with a big group of friends, but we did end up going out a few times. I opened up about my feelings and he had the awkward "let's just be friends" response. He's very shy and hard to read and neither of us are experienced in the dating world.

 

It's been a year now and he has moved and is currently a few hours away (but might be moving back). We have seen each other twice in the past year, always at group get togethers. I emailed him a few weeks ago to see how he was doing and he really opened up to me and told me about some deep things going on his life, which he's never done before.

 

My feelings remain the same...so do I give it another shot and ask him to meet up and hang out?

[uzi]

Yeah u should ask him out if he does go out with you then he's interested and u could get to know him better. Make sure it's not a group only u two. If u do go Let him know how u feel if he's shy. it's already been a year just tell him so u can move on

[Dire Wolf]

I'd take him at his word when he says he just wants to be friends. That's a tough speech to give, most likely he meant it. I'd move on to someone else unless you're ok with just a friendship.

[Hopelessromantic3]

Thanks for the input. I am really unsure of how either of us are feeling. After a year apart, I think I'm ok with being just friends, but I think I'll always wonder. When he expressed just wanting to be friends, he was very uncertain about it and took a long time to express that. He has zero dating experience at 25 (so any guys in the same boat who might be able to clue me in on what hes thinking?) and is really quiet. I think I'm starting to wonder about things changing because of all he told me about going through some issues in his life and wanting to make some changes.

 

I wish that I could casually mention getting together, but with us being 2 hours apart, it would have to be a special trip kind of thing, and I don't want to make him feel pressured or like I'm pursuing him too much...

[Cloud Watcher]

I would suggest sending him another friendly email and ask him to look you up when he comes back to town. Say you'd like to have lunch and catch up. This suggests that you are still interested, but is not overly pushy.

 

By doing this, you can at least tell yourself that you have done what you could, and still have respected that it's his choice as to whether to pursue things further.

 

Good luck. Sometimes these things do work out if you are patient.

[Hopelessromantic3]

I'm actually going to be driving through his town in a couple of weeks. I want to email him and see if he wants to do something but still don't know how to word it without putting pressure on him. Do I say something like no pressure, or if it's weird, don't worry about it or you can say no but I thought I'd check? I don't know how to balance making sure it's not awkward with not apologizing for trying to see him.