sportsloving Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Hellos I have quite a few guy friends, who I like hanging out with or playing golf, or going to games and the races with. We are strickly platonic buds so we goof alot, make jokes and some friendly put downs ... ya know, basic little buds who are fun to do things with I don't have a lot of female friends ... and I suppose most of that is my own fault, but those I do have are good friends of mine I would do almost anything for ... and here is where one wants to test my friendship, lol. Now one of my girlie friends has met by accident one of my buds. And she thinks she is over the moon for him. She is the kind that can fall in love at the drop of a hat, will let that person walk all over her, revamp her life for the love interest and so forth and so forth ... and meanwhile, I get to hear all the details of what that person has done, how he is treating her, blah blah. You know the type My bud (the guy) is pretty decent looking, funny, smart and has a decent job. But he is also just getting over a pretty recent divorce and wants to have some fun before thinking of settling down. Can't says I blame him, it was pretty rough for awhile and he and his ex are just now getting back on friendly grounds enough to say hi to each other. My gal friend wants me to set them up; ask him if he is interested, yada yada. And this is one thing I hate to do. Because if she falls for him, I don't want to be put in the middle of it. And no doubt I will hear all about him. And frankly, I like him as my bud and would like it keep it that way and not know any of his quirks outside of our being friends. Too top it off, I am afraid that she will fall, he will not, and I will have to hear things I just don't want to know that may or may not affect our friendship. I have told her my feelings about it, that I don't want to be put in the middle, that I don't want it to ruin our friendship if things didn't work out, and of course she reassures me this would never happen ... but we all know it could and probably would. I have also told her that he isn't looking to get serious with anyone because of his recent divorce, but she thinks they could be something special (ughs) and is half in love already just from the little hellos they exchanged. I don't want to lose either friendship, so by not giving him her phone number, she will feel like I was trying to stop them from dating (which I don't really care if they do so long as I am not placed in the middle of it). Or should I give him the number and face the fact that if things don't work out I might lose one or both friendships? My third option is to tell her that he moved to the Bahamas and hope she never runs across him again (Highly doubtful but it could happen). Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 It sounds as though there have been occasions where they met. That must mean there will be more of same. Tell her she's on her own - next time they are in the same place, she can approach him and que sera sera. That way you haven't done anything to get them together. It's possible he'll not be interested and then problem solved Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportsloving Posted July 4, 2004 Author Share Posted July 4, 2004 Here is what happened ... Ughs. Last night I was going to the races and invited her along. She called me six times before we left! Six freaking times! What should I wear? (who cares?) Do you know for sure he will be there? (Nope, last time I checked he didn't have to tell me what he was doing or when or where) What kind of races are these? (If I have to explain this, you just wouldn't understand anyways) Blah blah ... yet another reason it is easier to have guy friends. But I did invite her because she kept hinting that she wanted to go along. I told her, I wasn't sure if he would be there or not, but if he was, that I wasn't playing matchmaker and if she wanted to talk to him, it was up to her. I wasn't giving anyone any phone numbers, setting up dates, playing go between ... nothing. She will be on her own So we go to the races, and I have pretty good seats but she wants to be up and walking all the time ... just in case she missed seeing him. I told her (repeatedly) that if he showed up, he knew where the seats were and to calm it down (honestly, we aren't in high school ). Well she gets all mad at me for wanting to actually watch the races! And then wants me to call him and see where he is and what he is doing ?!?!?!?!? WTF? Needless to say, it was a pain in the arse. When we went down to the pits, to talk to some people, she was acting like a twit, being cranky, hardly talking and acting as if she had more important things to do. So we left. And that is the last time I take her to the races with me. I am suppose to play golf with him tomorrow, loser buys dinner . I am pretty sure my friends who were there will mention what happened, if they haven't already. It isn't as if they had a date set up, it isn't as if they have exchanged more than hellos, but all of a sudden she is acting like a possessive girl friend with potential of getting smacked in the head by yours truly I really am hoping they never hook up... I don't know how much of this I could handle! And if they do, I may be the one moving to the Bahamas! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Oh dear! LOL. If your friends do tell him about what happened - problem solved LOL. I'm guessing he won't be all that eager to hang with this one. Sad how men can turn women's brains to mush Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportsloving Posted July 4, 2004 Author Share Posted July 4, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme Oh dear! LOL. If your friends do tell him about what happened - problem solved LOL. I'm guessing he won't be all that eager to hang with this one. Sad how men can turn women's brains to mush I think I would have to smack him if he hung out with her ~ LMAO. Can't you just see if they ACTUALLY dated? UGH. I am actually hoping that our mutual friends who were there and saw her "attitude" will tell him . That way I don't have to say anything about her to him (just in case they do hook up ) but he can get the general idea of how she is acting. Link to post Share on other sites
lnichols Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Maybe if she still pursues this issue with you, you could tell her that her behavior at the races was pretty unacceptable and that if she really wants to impress this guy, she needs to apologize to him and then back off. Then tell her as a friend that you dislike being put into uncomfortable situations like these. Build her up and tell her that she is attractive enough to not need to be set up... then tell her that she is on her own as far as finding a date. At least where you are concerned. She just over-reacted. Maybe she is really shy or something. It can happen to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
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