coffeeloverx Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I was wondering, is it normal, as time goes on, to miss the relationship that you had, more than the person? My ex and I dated for two years, and I loved him, very much, but he said some nasty things to me, and he's been just an ass through this whole thing, and I've come to terms that I don't think I miss him so much, as I miss the relationship. I miss goodnight texts and good morning texts, and random "you're beautiful" texts, etc. I miss holding hands, and kissing, spending time together, being open with somebody, cuddling. I think part of the reason I'm fighting so hard is because I miss the relationship we shared, not necessairly him. Is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 You forgot to mention sex. That's usually a biggie...many miss that more than the person or even the relationship itself. But yes, it's quite normal and common to miss the intimacy associated with a relationship...that's why many jump into rebound relationships so soon after a breakup...because they crave those feelings of intimacy that they lost with the breakup...and this is the reason they seem so "happy" on the rebound...because they are once again fulfilled with those feelings... Link to post Share on other sites
Screwed_Over Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I think I feel the same way. I'm not sure if I miss the girl or the affection I was given. Link to post Share on other sites
StellaA Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Yup, is pretty normal, I posted a thread recently re this. I was with my ex for 6 years, lived together for 1, best friends for 3 years before that. Even though I love him I had to end it as after 6 years I did not think we wanted the same things at the same time and I did not see him wanting to move forwards whilst everyone else was. It hurt so much to break it with him but I had to think of the future. Now, I feel lost and alone but I think that is because I am so used to having him around, someone to talk to, go out with, give me a hug, but if I got back with him I know I would feel the same about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I'm convinced this is true. My rational mind knows my ex was not the right person for me. I miss being in a relationship. He was a great boyfriend but we really had no future. values were too different, and he was religious and right wing. I had a re-connection with an old FWB , and while i was distracted with that, i didn't miss my ex at all. now that that it's over, i think about my ex alot more again. But i know it's the relationship i miss... the intimacy, doing things together, always having that person you check in with and who's there for you. I truly believe you don't fully "get over" someone untill you are happy in another relationship. Ultimately, everyone wants love and a relationship. We associate all those nice feelings with the last person we experienced them with. Link to post Share on other sites
StellaA Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 VERY true Million.....I think once we are all with somone and happy we will realise our ex was not the one for us and this is what happiness is really! It just takes meeting that person and it being the right time Link to post Share on other sites
Author coffeeloverx Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 Thanks guys, we've only been broken up for a week, but I still think this is my case. I loved him, very much. However, he was unhappy, and things with him changed within our first year, etc. I'm glad others agree with me. I felt kinda odd, not missing him, but us. Link to post Share on other sites
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