Message to abusers from an abuser

[CaliColts]

I am an abuser, I denied to myself for years that I was normal and what I was doing was OK.

I have finally come to terms with with what I am and it is not a pretty sight.

 

My wake up call came when my wonderful wife of 12 years (we have been together 17) finally

told me she had enough, needed to be away for a while and left. The things I have said over the

years finally caught up to me and now I wish I never said anything to her but "I Love You" or

anything else that was not what I meant or said out of ignorance to make myself feel or look better.

I (and others) consider myself to be a pretty smart guy, but when I look back at what I did, the scope

of my actions are beyond my ability to even comprehend.

 

I should have seen it coming, but either my selfishness or ignorance clouded whatever sense

I could have made of my actions. This woman has put up with my constant put downs and sarcasm

for longer than anyone could be expected and now looking back I cannot see why she stayed as long

as she did. I could not have asked for a better wife, friend or mother than she has been to me and our

children and I cannot understand what ever could have made me even think of talking or treating her like I did.

 

I am also coming to terms that I have a problem physically or mentally, that is going to require

therapy or medication or both, This I also denied for years thinking I was strong enough to overcome

anything that was wrong with me, obviously I was very wrong in that sense. My friends and family are

going to help me get the help I need and hopefully I can become a better person.

 

I guess the whole point to my message is if you really love your wife or partner and want your relationship

last and you are an abuser of in ANY sense of the word then GET HELP before its too late, you cannot take

back what you have already said or done, no matter how much you apologize or send flowers or gifts.

 

It may be too late to save my marriage, I dont really know right now what will happen, but if this can help

anyone wake up and realize what they are doing and go get the help they need, then its a good thing.

If you take the time to look back and think, you will find that hindsight is 20/20 and reality is harsh.

[moimeme]

Congratulations on making this breakthrough. Very best of luck in everything you do and in defeating whatever your demons may be. It is great of you to 'fess up for everyone to hear. You may have done untold good today!

[CaliColts]

Thank You, its probably going to be a long road ahead, I hope something good comes of it.

If it doesnt work out between us, at the least I hope we both find peace in the end.