candy324986 Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) Hello guys okay so here my problem: My long distance boyfriend of 11 months could go weeks even a month without talking to me. At the beginning of the relationship we used to talk all the time but then as months and weeks went by the amount of time we talk to eachother reduce. at first it used to be only 1 or maybe 2 which i was perfectly fine with but then it used to be a week and or even 2 weeks and i even confronted him at one point about the issue but he told me that he loved me and that hes sorry and that we'll talk more and everything, but we never did. We barley video chat and when we do its like once every 4 monts if im lucky and whenever i ask if we could he says yes and promises tonight we will but we never do. becuase of that i cut video chating out of the list of ways we could spent time togetheir, so i tried facebook since hes always on that but that didnt work, we cant email eachother cause hes barley ever checks his mail (so he say) lol idk. so that only leaves the phone, but we hardly ever talk on the phone and whenever we do we can spend hours and hours on the phone even when its a school night and he has practice tomorrow or i have a big test the next day. whenever we actually do text after about 5 or more text messages from both of us he stops texting me at first i used to think because i said somthing wrong or maybe hes not intrested in the converstation or maybe hes busy or whatever but now im really not sure. its been 11 days since we last talked and i was the first one to text him and after a while he just stopped texting me so now im really unsure should i wait for him to text me? should i text him? or should i confront him again about this issue that we keep on having because it keeps on happenig no matter how much i try to make the converstation fun for him or even at a good time im seriouly not sure anymore so can you please tell me what to do? please and thank you. Edited June 27, 2012 by candy324986 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Going weeks without talking for no good reason isn't a relationship, he doesn't sound like he wants to be in a relationship, relationships (especially LDR's) require A LOT of effort and communication and without it they die. I'm sorry, I would cut my losses and concentrate on people who make time and effort for you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
aisle_seat Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I agree with HorH; not talking for more than a week, let alone weeks at a time is not relationship. How old are you? Forgive me but you seem young. Regardless, I think its time for you to move on. Stop texting and calling him and get on with your life. There are plenty of guys out there waiting to give you attention 2 Link to post Share on other sites
skakitty Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I have this issue with my LD boyfriend and it drives me mad! I know he struggles with the 'out of sight, out of mind' issue that comes with ADD (i've been with him when he picks up his phone, reads a text, goes 'aww that's nice' or something and puts the phone down.. loses it.. never replies to text lol) but it still frustrates the hell outta me >_< I'm just gonna have a review of our communications when he gets home and hope it might get better when we move in together! Link to post Share on other sites
Author candy324986 Posted June 29, 2012 Author Share Posted June 29, 2012 (edited) How old are you? I am 16 while he's 18 going to college. @aisle_seat, HeavenOrHell, and skakitty; thank you all for your adivce (: I really appreciate it, I'm going to have a talk with him and this time I'm gonna call so I don't have to wait a whole week for his reponse, hopefully he can change or I'm going to have to change my facebook status from in a relationship to SINGLE. Edited June 29, 2012 by candy324986 Link to post Share on other sites
solarblue Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 time to find someone who will make time for you, regardless of geography/location,trusting is difficult from a distance, i know. have you tried confronting the situation head on, like what's up with the reduced calls????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author candy324986 Posted July 2, 2012 Author Share Posted July 2, 2012 [quote name=solarblue;4088021 have you tried confronting the situation head on' date=' like what's up with the reduced calls????? [/quote] I did once but i didnt directly come out and ask "whats up with the whole not talking thing" i just beat around the bush a little ontil he kinda firgured out what i was trying to say but im starting to get enough off beating around the bush and like i posted previously im going to have a talk with him and face the issue head on, thank you very much for your suggestion and the fact that you spent your time to read my issue and answer it (: Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 let us know how it goes. dont let him talk you into being on the side lines. you either have a regular consistant relationship or he is playing you and keeping you waiting in the wings as a back up. dont be that back up. also guys hate breaking up and hearing u upset or cry and would rather ditch u like this then be upfront and truthful. tell him u can handle it and demand the truth now. dont settle for less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author candy324986 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 Well we talked, i told him everything that i basically told you guys and i also told him how i feel like its unfair to me, he apolyized said he has been under a lot of stress and texting isnt really his thing which kinda angered me cause it seems like nothing is really his thing, so i asked him what was his thing dimissing the converstation he said and i quote " look if were going to have a fight atleast let be face to face" i really didnt understand what he meant by it until he told me about how he was planning on visting me this summer. So yeah im still really unsure about everything but i guess we will discuss it when he vists..? Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 did he visit? how r u? glad you spoke up some : ) Link to post Share on other sites
dacookie Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Well we talked, i told him everything that i basically told you guys and i also told him how i feel like its unfair to me, he apolyized said he has been under a lot of stress and texting isnt really his thing which kinda angered me cause it seems like nothing is really his thing, so i asked him what was his thing dimissing the converstation he said and i quote " look if were going to have a fight atleast let be face to face" i really didnt understand what he meant by it until he told me about how he was planning on visting me this summer. So yeah im still really unsure about everything but i guess we will discuss it when he vists..? Sounds to me like you are on a back burner.Listen to HeavenOrHell he/she is on the ball of this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Freckas Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 t whatever kind of college he attends, maybewould be good to see how someone in his shoes lives. Its not that much of an age difference but Id bet life is busier, and i dont want to be a pessimist, but im sure you are on back burner. there is too much counting against the success of the relationship: age location him not cooperating you are close in a age but people that are 16 arnt facing the same type of pressure. he probly thinks you have it easy and is being careless, he knows you probly are not going anywhere in a while. sorry ask some males specifically and visit some people at different campus's near you. Link to post Share on other sites
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