An update on the whole obsessive thinking thing...

[Thinkalot]

Howdy all...I just felt like sharing. Always open to feedback too.

 

My OCD is getting better. Still on medication (and planning to switch to something else soon, to try and overcome lowered sex drive...but that's another story) and putting into practice the things I've been taught to do to manage the thoughts etc/need to question my fiance about things in his life 'before me', his ex/wife and so on.

 

I would have to say, that when I am not with him, I pretty much focus on the present and the future...and not the past!! Yay! I used to nearly ALWAYS be fretting or worrying, and actually feel sick in the stomach. Not anymore.

 

Partly it's the meds, the therapy, and partly, it's making an effort to be positive, and to be busy, and productive and to channel my thoughts and energies to positive tasks, sports, hobbies etc. Plus, being engaged makes me feel secure and happy.

 

We just spent a weekend away. We usually only have one day off a week together, and have been busy lately, so all this one on one time, was a good test for me. It's a much bigger challenge when we are together.

 

Result: I did well. I'm not perfect. It's MUCH harder to control when I am with him, and in new environments, as there are so many triggers...ie new topics, places etc, which lead me to obsessively feeling like I need to question him, and ensure I know EVERYTHING he knows about that topic/place etc.

 

But, that said...we both handled it OK. If I went down that path, he gently stopped me. I appreciated him letting me know nicely, and I STOPPED ASAP.

 

The only annoying bit...having to still deal with this crap in my head at all! That can be tiring.

 

But..I discovered that by Day 2...I was relaxing with him, and it was lessening its grip on me. I started to enjoy just BEING with him, and the things we were doing. So I'm hoping, more time together, will always see the OCD stuff decline slowly. It might peak at the start, and then taper off.

 

Anyway...the upshot is, we had a TOP weekend. The place we stayed was really beautiful, we ate nice food, went bushwalking etc. He loved it too...I organised it all as a surprise for his birthday.

 

And we definately feel closer again now, than we did before we went. It was good for us to have the break. And it was good for me, because it teaches me what i still have to learn, and shows me how I can cope.

[johan]

I started to enjoy just BEING with him, and the things we were doing.

 

I've begun working with my girlfriend on this. We don't live together, so it's a little different. But it's so hard to get her mind to stop running all the time. She doesn't really ever relax. She doesn't even know it's important to just BE together. It's important to me anyway.

 

I'm glad to hear you had fun. And I'm even more glad he was able to deal with you calmly. I know that doesn't fix what's going on in your head. I sometimes wonder if an argument or a difficult discussion is sort of a "pill" to treat the thoughts. Or maybe it's a way to keep them from taking over completely. I get that impression sometimes. Like they build up on her until she has to start something to let off some steam.

[Thinkalot]

Johan...yes, it can feel like that. Like you just need to let some of it out of your head, or it might explode! LOL! You have picked up on something there, which I feel is the case.

 

We did have a great weekend, and I'm so glad we did. It all turned out well...and we both tried to manage any of my questioning with ease.

 

I too have trouble switching my mind off, and just 'being'. Like your girlfriend, my mind is always running...so achieving peace is a great thing... I can sometimes get there when doing sport too...like surfing, skiing, hiking.

 

Hope things keep going well for you two.

[moimeme]

I went down that path, he gently stopped me. I appreciated him letting me know nicely, and I STOPPED ASAP.

 

Woohoo! Way to go! I'm so happy for you!

 

too have trouble switching my mind off, and just 'being'. Like your girlfriend, my mind is always running

 

Are you able to meditate?

[Thinkalot]

Yes, I can meditate. When I set aside a time to stop my thoughts, that is when I can achieve inner peace and quiet! Meditation is such a release and relief!

 

The rest of the time...thinking, thinking, thinking

[sportsloving]

Congratulations on your weekend! I am so glad you were able to relax (most of it anyways) .

 

[meanon]

Good for you, Thinkalot

 

thinking, thinking, thinking

Lol! I was with our mutual friend today who figured that because we were in the 2nd half of the year it was OK to begin planning for xmas . In terms of what you have left to learn, I suspect it's all about redirecting the need for control into relatively safe areas of your life that don't involve relationships.

 

I hope the meds change helps, Thinkalot. Do talk to the doctor about the effect of missing the occasional dose, a drug with a shorter half life than the one you are on will help you feel the benefits. This type of change can be quite disruptive so try and ease up for a few weeks when you make the switch. If I'm not around please do email me if I can help.

[Thinkalot]

Thanks.

 

I'm finally able to get in to see a new doctor in a few weeks, and will talk to her about it.

[lydiamarie]

yay yay yay! i'm glad things are getting better