january2011 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I really hope he is just an ass and is ok. That's probably the best case scenario. And at least you'll know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Ugh why can't people just be honest?! If you don't want to talk to me - just say that. Who goes out of their way to just ignore someone. I might as well start acting like a stage 5 clinger because that how people seem to treat me. How can someone be so inconsiderate? I have feelings too. All that worry for nothing. :mad: Block and deleted all contact and pictures. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 You = amazing Him = asshat He was lucky you ever gave him the time of day. Now he can shove off. Pr*ck. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 You = amazing Him = asshat He was lucky you ever gave him the time of day. Now he can shove off. Pr*ck. Agreed. I'm sorry, SF. *hugs* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 HUGS!!! I know how you feel.. You're such a lovely person for caring about him. You worry for his safety, you are considerate about his family, and you are so thoughtful with the gifts! You seem to like him a lot, I'm sorry that the feelings weren't returned fairly. You are better off without his flakiness and lack of affections. He just doesn't prioritize you or your relationship. You deserve much more than this! There's light at the end of the tunnel. When one door closes, another one opens. Someone better will come along ok, don't worry about this one. He's in the bin now. Let's close the lid. Time to pamper yourself and go shopping with that ticket money (or save it for a rainy day)... at least you didn't waste it on him! Take care! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I always take comfort in knowing that all emotions pass. Whatever you feel at this moment, you are unlikely to feel a week or month from now. Just think how you were dissapointed in guys before him, and you always ended up meeting someone new. Ups and downs of life. One day it will be for keeps. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted July 22, 2012 Author Share Posted July 22, 2012 I am sad but that seems to be passing. However the immaturity in this whole matter makes me happy to know it is over. I did like him and have no ill feelings towards him but his way of handling things isn't something I am going to take fault for. This has been meaning to happen since the first mishap so it doesn't seem like such a big deal to me now. I feel more disrespected than anything but that isn't something I could control. His lost, not mine. Thanks for the kind words everyone. Hopefully the next hopeful is, well more hopeful, lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted July 28, 2012 Author Share Posted July 28, 2012 I am only updating this to help keep my mind off of it and it helps me stay accountable. Anywho, I don't think I actually clarified what happened last time when I blocked him. He never replied to my message on fb or contacted me but facebook updated me on recent activity on his page - he posted a comment on a picture. That happened last Friday right before I posted anything. However I haven't heard from since the 14 of July - which is two weeks ago but he decided to text me last night. Somehow that is possible when I blocked his number but it may be a new number, I actually don't know. It may only block calls but I don't know I have never blocked anyone and dont have his old number. He just asked how I was doing and said sorry his phone was broken. I didn't reply and deleted his number - I don't think I am over reacting but I don't think it deserves a response - which I can't do anyway since I deleted it. This situation is so stupid. Why would someone think dropping off of the face of the planet is acceptable and some bs excuse can make it better. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Honestly, I don't know why people do that. They might as well not come back to say anything. Unless they really have a good reason to. You're strong, SF. *hugs* And right, no excuse can make that stunt any better at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted July 29, 2012 Author Share Posted July 29, 2012 I now feel silly for blocking him. Which I am pretty sure he knows from the calls I got from a blocked numbers and random numbers all week. It was easy dealing with this when I was under impression that he wasn't contacting me. It sucks to know its over - because of such immature behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 I feel for you, SF. *hugs* How are you feeling now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 4, 2012 Author Share Posted August 4, 2012 I feel for you, SF. *hugs* How are you feeling now? The whole situation is bonkers, We are back talking but it isn't much coming from it. We talked about the whole two weeks of no communication. I told him it was inconsiderate. He apoligized but said that his phone was off so it wasn't like he was ignoring me. Then I asked why no reply to FB...and he replied he doesn't know why he didn't reply. Yeah - this sounds horrible , I know. However I know I need to make the decision and just leave him alone so I really can't really be mad about the outcome right now. He also mentioned the fact that I don't have the right to be mad at him since I did the same thing when we were initially dating(the no communication - which lead to him asking me and me telling him I was going back to my ex) . Which he is right so "what goes around comes around" I guess. However I told him that isn't fair to hold over my head and if he has a problem with that and their is too much bad blood we might as well stop wasting each others time. We also talked about me just showing back in his life and just starting back like we didn't stop talking. Anyway it just really confusing and no talk of a visit. Since I personally can't put myself out there again with the fear of it being canceled. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I know what you mean about "too much bad blood". Sometimes it's always best to clear whatever was in the past and to be sure it's not an issue to either one cos it will tend to build up negative feelings over time. :\ How are things going, SF? Hope it's going well for you. Well, please take care and be careful is all I can say, it sucks to have that fear but at the same time it's good cos it'll make you extra careful of what you choose to do, to avoid the same thing from happening again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 I know what you mean about "too much bad blood". Sometimes it's always best to clear whatever was in the past and to be sure it's not an issue to either one cos it will tend to build up negative feelings over time. :\ How are things going, SF? Hope it's going well for you. Well, please take care and be careful is all I can say, it sucks to have that fear but at the same time it's good cos it'll make you extra careful of what you choose to do, to avoid the same thing from happening again. Thanks for checking up...I really do appreciate it. It has completely died off it seems. He promised to call me last week but sent me a text instead. In the last 10 days we probably shared 10 text messages. I do miss him - like hell but it is over and I need to move on. I am happy that it didn't end on the bad note like prior. However we both have stopped trying - him for his own reasons and me because I can't deal with the half assness. Anyway I am stepping away from dating. I don't see the point or don't know what I want in a relationship. It's not that I am even scared of more relationship failure but I have no clue what kind of guy I want. Everyone I have dated have all been so different - I don't know what is right for me anymore. So I am going to shy away from dating. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Sucks how things turn out that way for you. :\ It does seem quite nice to actually step away from dating. Sometimes taking that break from other people allows you to find out more about yourself or more about what you want exactly. The last time I did that, I learned a lot of new things about myself. I lost my sense of identity a long time since I got into a relationship, after 5 years, it was nice to realise a lot of new things about myself, new things that I never knew I liked. Good luck SF, I hope you'll feel a lot better from now on. *hugs* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 26, 2012 Author Share Posted August 26, 2012 You would think this will die off by now? I have claimed to make the last post on this matter several times already. However life never works out that way. This may get a full update today since I will feel better writing the crap out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I look forward to the update, SF. Hope things are well with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 I look forward to the update, SF. Hope things are well with you. Short version. Things died off as I written prior. He came back. We discussed me deleting him from fb, which didn't please him. I told him if we don't talk I have no reason to have him as a friend. Which some how made no sense to him. So he brought up that his phone was off and yadda yadda. Anyway we discussed the distance and it came to a point of me telling him I wanted to be with him. Which oddly enough surprised him. He then asked me why - I gave him a cliche answer. So he figured I was bull ****ti-ng him so he stopped contacting me directly. He kept at liking everything of mine on fb ( I hate that I have to reference fb , this is why I generally don't add guys I dated or date guys that I am fb friends with). So he sent me a couple texts which I ignored until he sent me a text about ignoring his texts. So we spoke about why we wanted to be together and established that we want to be together and decided it will happen but then he says " well I dont want to do anything long distance". So I tell him fine and ask him what does he want. Then he decides he wants to take things slow and also hold off. I told him that he was contradicting himself and it is either one or the other. Do he decided he wanted to hold off. I told him fine but I will cut contact. He then said "you will interest in me"... I told him that is a risk we will have to take. He said that was ridiciulous. So I asked "do we date others during this time"... He said yes, we should live our lives. Now we are stuck. He doesn't want to be a relationship with me but he wants us to wait and continue to talk. He trying to get me to agree so I said only friends until I move but I don't know what's going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Ah.. sounds so complicated but yet not. What do you want really? Do you want to hold off and wait? Or do you want to move on and live your life and if someone else comes along you would go for it? I think it's selfish of him to want you both to wait and continue to talk when he says he doesn't want a LDR and when he says that you both should date others and etc. That's just contradicting in itself. It's like he wants all good things to happen to him and he's trying to keep himself safe. How about you then? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 It is selfish. However it is no different from what we have been doing . And I am either going to check out completely or get hurt more. This only allows both of us to back off when we want to - which I find pointless. Like we have been talking all morning - what is the point of that? I am so confused and I dont have interest in anyone else but I don't want to allow my self to continue to get lead on. I am truthfully lost and I feel horrible talking to other guys. Like I may spend my bday with my ex - now I am questioning that since I am scared how that may make him feel. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 When's your bday? Spend it with your girlfriends. Anyway, guys can be strange. Some can freak out at the word "commitment"... except if you go... he won't wanna lose you and won't want you to leave... So he ends up dragging you into some nightmare where you are willing to give everything and if you try and ask anything, he needs the time to "wrap one's head around it". So what do you want, man? You want me? Take me. You don't want me? Go the f ahem... I perfectly understand what you mean when you said you deleted him because he was not talking to you anyway. I must say I found myself in something very similar to that, and more than once. He didn't make sense to him. Men can just resume from where they left. They're cool. When you don't hear from them, they were just busy, or had something else on their minds, or whatever. It didn't mean they didn't want to talk to you. That can happen, that someone avoids the company of a woman for whatever reason, but more rare than the careless behavior they keep, that's definitely more common. In a relationship there can be one of the two loving more intensely, quite obsessioned with the other... In the beginning, it can be nice for the other receiving so much attention, but then not so much. When the disconnect happens, the one who's intensely in love senses it and starts questioning everything. Her (let's assume it's a she, because in most cases it's like that) feelings start growing colder, the passion's been killed and when he realizes what he did (aware or unaware, it doesn't matter) he wants everything back. At times you value what you had only when you don't have it anymore. But in all this, he's human, and his feelings can be genuine. And if there was a mistake, he will now do his best to make up for all the wrong he did. If he doesn't, let him go. Don't settle for anything that is not the moon or almost there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 I ended up telling him I wanted to spend my bday with him. He was peeved I didn't plan better to make that happen. I don't even want to understand how he can see how that would have happen. My bday is this week - I have no plans but my girl friends are pestering me so I will make it happen. Anyway I told him we can be friends until the move and if anyone comes into our lives seriously we will be honest with each other. He agreed and then told me he won't ask for any more personal pictures. Something is wrong with him/guys I swear. However there is less chance of me finding someone since I am moving so we are technically waiting to see if he moves on first . However I am cutting contact - I mean going to treat him like a friend. I can't afford to fall any harder for him . Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I ended up telling him I wanted to spend my bday with him. He was peeved I didn't plan better to make that happen. I don't even want to understand how he can see how that would have happen. My bday is this week - I have no plans but my girl friends are pestering me so I will make it happen. Anyway I told him we can be friends until the move and if anyone comes into our lives seriously we will be honest with each other. He agreed and then told me he won't ask for any more personal pictures. Something is wrong with him/guys I swear. However there is less chance of me finding someone since I am moving so we are technically waiting to see if he moves on first . However I am cutting contact - I mean going to treat him like a friend. I can't afford to fall any harder for him . What is your timeline for moving? A year? Six months? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 What is your timeline for moving? A year? Six months? 8 months. I have a roommate lined up that I rather wait to move with. however I can move as soon as I get a car so about 4 months but that isn't ideal for me Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 In my opinion, you should just keep moving forward and see where life leads you. I just think he's weary to commit himself or something. I don't think you should limit yourself if you don't feel like it. Do what you feel is best for you and then for anyone you want to concern of. And see what your gut says. They say the gut's usually right. I don't know about that but for my previous gut experiences, yeah my gut was always right. Link to post Share on other sites
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