Author SmileFace Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 Well since the deal we have talked daily however the awkwardness is there. He will say something I will ignore it and somehow mention the friends. Then he will say something - then back off and mention our "agreement" as it is now called. It seems useless but is his choice not my own. Like yesterday was his only day not working a double and we were on the phone most of the day. We are trying to plan a visit for the end of the month - where he comes to see me. However who knows? It is confusing but I will stick around until the move or until he lessens contact . For example yesterday he kind of breeched our agreement then retracted. I was sick of it so I said. "agreement or not , I rather be laying with you" , he agreed and then we both backed off. Idk confusing He expects me to go out and have a joyous time for my bday this weekend so he has been technically monitoring my weekend plans. However my horrid planning and preparing for my move back home probably won't allow that to happen but I won't tell him that or anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Well it sounds like quite a sticky situation...neither here nor there. I just hope that you're all right throughout this whole time till when you move or something. Keep us updated? I hope things go peacefully for you, less stress. Good luck, SF. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 8, 2012 Author Share Posted September 8, 2012 It is a huge work in progress. We were planning a visit and we decided to share costs in tickets which was fine when planning in advance however I got two weeks off and wanted to visit but he can't afford his end of the deal - which is fine since I can cover my own ticket. But I don't want to push the issue since I don't feel comfortable and the fact that we aren't together is making me feel insecure about the visit or even pushing the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Hey SF. So you're still going ahead with the visit despite the awkward feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 The visit I wanted to happen during my sabbitical didn't happen since it didn't coincide with his work schedule. He then suggested a next date for me to visit and I declined since the duration was too short and I rather not travel during my work training. Everything is up in the air now. He called me out on not knowing much about each other and wanting a relationship with him, I never had a real relationship that actually meant sharing emotions with someone else so it all new to me. We shared tons about our past. Which wasn't easy for me but it wasn't done over the phone so he couldn't actually hear the crying. This was a couple of days ago during a period of where our contact has been less than the norm. I kind of feel vulnerable since I haven't spoken to him since the discussion and now his phone seems to be off. I am just sick of it but I don't care in a way. I am in a transition period where I am back at my mom's house and I won't date anyone while living here so I am just focusing on me. Plus I don't know if he is the best for me.. I am truthfully confused. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I'm sorry. *hugs* Hey, I think that's a good thing, that you're focusing on yourself. I think you should continue on that way and see what happens. If things are to happen, they will, and they will happen for a reason. If it doesn't feel right, maybe he isn't really the best for you. But I'm sure there's one out there you've yet to meet whom you will feel right and happy with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 I will just say ticket booked. I should be there, with him in 7 days. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I will just say ticket booked. I should be there, with him in 7 days. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I hope this works out for you but sadly, he seems to be treating you like a doormat. Everything is on his terms. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 20, 2012 Author Share Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) I hope this works out for you but sadly, he seems to be treating you like a doormat. Everything is on his terms. Well you live and you learn so I will see. Sigh you may be right who knows. Well there goes my mood. Edited September 20, 2012 by SmileFace Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Cheer up, SF. Go and see what happens. Maybe you'll find the answers to your doubts and questions when you see him. If it leaves you feeling even more confused, then perhaps you should think of the next course of action. Hope it goes well, good luck with the trip! Keep your chin up and try to have fun where you can. Keep us updated! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 Nope I canceled it. I will post the story tomorrow. Hehe my first attempt at a real relationship and it ends like this. I feel like a failure but everything happens for a reason. Every guy who I told this story says he must have someone else - as bad as it sounds, I feel bad for her. I which I listened to my gut about this in the beginning but I wanted to work out so much. But like I said you live and you learn. I have had him come in and out my life too many times and gave him too many chances - which is my own fault. But I know I need to leave him alone for good. It sucks that he was such an ass and tried to make it seem as if I was the problem. I will not let his douche baggary stop my progress to that right guy but I will never again bend over backwards for a guy like I did with him. I just hope there is something to be learned from all this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ladyabstrused Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 It sounds like you've made quite a good decision there considering how he's been treating you and I like how you're looking at it so positively. There is definitely something to be learned from all of this, for sure. Keep strong. You've got my support! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What are some simple ways you can show your appreciation in a LDR? I was thinking cards and maybe care packages with little Knick knacks? However we share funny pictures and stuff on our phones... So will it make sense? I am very new to this and trying not to reason myself out of this potential relationship - so I am trying to keep my self interested. Little info Dated him while on internship, it seemed to have porentional so we both planned to relocate to the location in which our internship took place but life happened and I had to return home a 900 miles away. He tried to continue us but I already planned to reconcile with my ex if I returned home - which was decided before I met him. Fast forward 5 months and I go to visit we end up hooking up and have been talking ever since. We have planned for me to visit in July. I have tons to figure out about him and just trying to figure out how. You have to decide, which guy you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What are some simple ways you can show your appreciation in a LDR? I was thinking cards and maybe care packages with little Knick knacks? However we share funny pictures and stuff on our phones... So will it make sense? I am very new to this and trying not to reason myself out of this potential relationship - so I am trying to keep my self interested. Flowers, jewelry(for the woman); jewelry, cologne, shaving gel, aftershave(for the man) Little info Dated him while on internship, it seemed to have porentional so we both planned to relocate to the location in which our internship took place but life happened and I had to return home a 900 miles away. He tried to continue us but I already planned to reconcile with my ex if I returned home - which was decided before I met him. Fast forward 5 months and I go to visit we end up hooking up and have been talking ever since. We have planned for me to visit in July. I have tons to figure out about him and just trying to figure out how. Returning to your ex, sound like something my (ex)girlfriend did while I was in my senior year of high school. What I had not known before the fact, is that her actual boyfriend, was in the county lockup. So when he got out, he went to her apartment, and she had her friend call me at 2am, to tell me the news. I told her friend, I wanted to hear it from my 'girlfriend'. Through tears, she said it was true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmileFace Posted September 22, 2012 Author Share Posted September 22, 2012 You have to decide, which guy you want. Flowers, jewelry(for the woman); jewelry, cologne, shaving gel, aftershave(for the man) Returning to your ex, sound like something my (ex)girlfriend did while I was in my senior year of high school. What I had not known before the fact, is that her actual boyfriend, was in the county lockup. So when he got out, he went to her apartment, and she had her friend call me at 2am, to tell me the news. I told her friend, I wanted to hear it from my 'girlfriend'. Through tears, she said it was true. Thanks for the response... I appreciate it but this roll coaster ride is over. I have cut all contact with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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