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6 years and the real me...


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Hi all i am new here, let me first start off by explaining , i had been pretty hurt in the past before i had got into this 6 year relationship that has just ended. i had never really given her all of me, and it has cost me dearly. I had never been inlove like this and she hadn't either, we are fairly young 25 and 22 but we planned a child which we had, we had separated 1 year when we first got together and got back together cause we couldn't be away from each other any longer. We have been having problems over the years due to my lack of conveying how i really felt, and being completely open and honest, In my own defense i had fully opened up to her about 3 weeks or so before we broke up but it had been going on so long she is just like...Why now, and i hate cliches but you really do not know what you have till it is gone. we built everything up from nothing together, i am now a very successful male model and business man, i have never cheated, but she did and came clean since we were working things out and discussing about getting married which she had been asking about since she was pregnant with our child. It was once she felt horrible yada yada i forgave her, we have only been broken up a day and she comes to my house already with hickeys(yeah it hurts but i have no right saying anything) she says she is confused and dont know what she wants, but she is not in it right now, she wanted to still live with me granted i am a fair person but i couldn't bear to be with her and sharing a bed with her and we are where we are...she is now staying with a relative, i am trying to limit contact, its just hard. my best friend tells me normally since he knows me forever he would just tell me to move on but he knows she is the only female i have ever loved and agreed with my decisions to fight for her reclaim her and ask her to marry me one day. She cries about us still, tells me give her time to miss her when we spoke last on the phone, i know this is crucial and i dont want to make a mistake, i have custody of our child she left her with me.she never really had a mom and didnt really know how to be one, we had issues with my mother and family butting in and judging her as well the list goes on, i want to make this right, she is a part of me, and all i want is to do right by her and make sure everyday is perfect for her...I am beyond in need of help(i feel) its hard from never feeling nothing for anyone to this. and i dont want to make irrational mistakes and lose her forever

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Philosoraptor

So what are your plans to correct the issues that you presented to the relationship? And what were you yourself unhappy with in the relationship? It's a two way street and issues need to be corrected on both ends.

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So what are your plans to correct the issues that you presented to the relationship? And what were you yourself unhappy with in the relationship? It's a two way street and issues need to be corrected on both ends.

 

I am fully committed to being completely open about my feelings with her, being completely open and honest, the only issue i really had with her, was the fact shes not too open to ideas even if she dont know the answer, she is very hasty (hence our situation now) and i want her more involved with our daughter, instead of being out so much, when she could be home , i dont mind her going out a couple times a week but she tends to drink too much and i am also worried she is becoming an alcoholic i grew up with an alcoholic parent and she grew up with no parents due to drugs, i understand her more than she knows. She is just so self destructive sometimes. I made a family with her by choice we made this situation together and i just want to rectify it. I have seen couples way less in love bounce back from way worse. It just kills me cause our daughter just started warming up to her and missing her when shes gone, now everytime the bus stops or my door bell goes off she runs screaming mommy! and its only been about a week since she is out of our home

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Philosoraptor

You need to sit down with her and explain what you are willing to do as well as your expectations for her.

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You need to sit down with her and explain what you are willing to do as well as your expectations for her.

I have, she simply said ok dont talk about it do it.

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