kim Posted October 16, 2000 Share Posted October 16, 2000 I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, and at times everything is great and at other times it is a mess. I am 20 and he is 22. He always is with his friends, and he never calls me on the phone, unless he wants me to go out with him. He has started smoking pot a lot lately, and says that he isn't addicted to it, but he always has some, or is going to get some. He doesn't seem to care about anything except hanging out with his friends and smoking. I do care about him a lot, but hate being taken for granted. What should I do? I really don't want to break up with him. Can someone help me? please. Link to post Share on other sites
michelle Posted October 16, 2000 Share Posted October 16, 2000 please stay away from this guy, he is a druggi and doesn't deserve you. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny Posted October 16, 2000 Share Posted October 16, 2000 Jus curious, is you last name Jordan? You seem juss like this chick i know. damn....lol I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, and at times everything is great and at other times it is a mess. I am 20 and he is 22. He always is with his friends, and he never calls me on the phone, unless he wants me to go out with him. He has started smoking pot a lot lately, and says that he isn't addicted to it, but he always has some, or is going to get some. He doesn't seem to care about anything except hanging out with his friends and smoking. I do care about him a lot, but hate being taken for granted. What should I do? I really don't want to break up with him. Can someone help me? please. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 16, 2000 Share Posted October 16, 2000 He seems to have put you way back in priorities, behind cannabis and his friends. He also thinks so little of you that he would put you in peril of being arrested on felony possession of marijuana...because if he is caught with the stuff and you are with him, you go to the slammer too. (Don't worry, $1,500 to an attorney should clear you if you didn't have it on you.) Until the guy wants to give up the pot, spend less time with his friends, and spend more time with you, about all anyone at the forum can do is pray for your situation. That is assuming you have discussed this with him and he absolutely refuses to quit. Since you don't want to bust this up, be loving, accepting, go out with him when he calls, find other things to do when he doesn't, and write him every day when he goes to jail in the event you are lucky enough to be away from him when he gets busted. For more information about addictions, recover and co-dependence (what you are getting into), go back to the LoveShack homepage, click on links, then click on addiction and recovery. There, you will find links to sites that may be able to help you live with a man who is addicted to illegal substances. Whether you believe it or not, you have described a man who is addicted. He is real lucky to have you to care for him and be there when it's convenient for him. Sorry you aren't as lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
hoo Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 I have been there and it is very unpleasant to be honest he doesn't give a toss otherwise he would call, be with you, buy you little presents even if they were cheap you are very young tell him to go to hell there are plenty more fish in the sea believe me! Link to post Share on other sites
Paulie Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Dude...that ain't cool. This is an anonymous site. If you feel you might know a poster, please keep it to yourself. I'm sure you meant no harm, but to me that's a really important aspect about the site. I encourage you to delete that, if ya can. Later, Paulie Link to post Share on other sites
Heather Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 I just wanted to say this... okay first of all marijuana is not a felony possesion unless it is a quarter pound or over. (Thats about $250 to $300 worth) So if your guy does get busted unless he has a very big amount it is known as a misdemeanor (sp?). Anyway it takes more than one misdemeanor for someone to be put in jail for a long period of time. Believe me I have been through this with my boyfriend. Unless you have the drugs on you when he gets busted you will not go to jail. They may not even take you in to the station. As for the relationship you should ask him what is more important to him...the weed, or you. If he says you than you need to let him know that it bothers you and you want him to spend more time with you and work on getting better. If he refuses than leave him. If you really care about him you will stick around and help him get better (if he admits he has a problem, and wants to fix it.) If he answers the above question with the weed is more important than leave him. People in this forum give really good advice. But alot of times they are telling people right off the bat to leave this person because they have gotten into drugs and there is no hope. Thats not true this is where you find out if you signifcant other really loves you. If they do they will do everything they can to make you happy and to help them selves. If they don't then they don't deserve you. Good luck Heather He seems to have put you way back in priorities, behind cannabis and his friends. He also thinks so little of you that he would put you in peril of being arrested on felony possession of marijuana...because if he is caught with the stuff and you are with him, you go to the slammer too. (Don't worry, $1,500 to an attorney should clear you if you didn't have it on you.) Until the guy wants to give up the pot, spend less time with his friends, and spend more time with you, about all anyone at the forum can do is pray for your situation. That is assuming you have discussed this with him and he absolutely refuses to quit. Since you don't want to bust this up, be loving, accepting, go out with him when he calls, find other things to do when he doesn't, and write him every day when he goes to jail in the event you are lucky enough to be away from him when he gets busted. For more information about addictions, recover and co-dependence (what you are getting into), go back to the LoveShack homepage, click on links, then click on addiction and recovery. There, you will find links to sites that may be able to help you live with a man who is addicted to illegal substances. Whether you believe it or not, you have described a man who is addicted. He is real lucky to have you to care for him and be there when it's convenient for him. Sorry you aren't as lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 17, 2000 Share Posted October 17, 2000 Heather: I stand corrected and I'm sure this poster will breathe much easier knowing she won't be in serious legal problems if her boyfriend is arrested on misdemeanor possession of marijuana. This makes a basic assumption that the law enforcement officers are in a good mood at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
kim Posted October 18, 2000 Share Posted October 18, 2000 He says that he isn't addicted but he can't go a day without smoking. I have seen his attitude towards work and school change drastically. All that he seems to care about is smoking with his friends. I really think that I am a good influence on him, and would like to help him to get back to his old self again. I don't want to break up with him even though everyone around me keeps telling me that is what i should do. I don't know. I guess I will see what happens. I hope that neither of us go to jail for his problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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