Would you give up porn if your loved one asked?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Porn is far more acceptable today that it used to be. Even today there are men who are ashamed to admit that they masturbate, much less view porn, but that is mainly a function of age now, I think. In my view, as a function of the changing technology perhaps, and perhaps due to other trends, society has simply become more honest and sophisticated about all of this. I known I have.

 

I disagree with the idea that society is more "honest" or "sophisticated", on a human level at least. We are pretty sophisticated on a technology level but I do think there is a debt we pay for that. I see a lot of other things going to the wayside because techonlogy is overtaking it. More computer interaction and less real life interaction seems to be the name of the day. I will use Facebook as an example because I'm not a fan of Facebook either. It's become a way for people to feel connected and over important in their self idolazation. Yet some studies show that people (especially kids) that regularly use Facebook end up feeling worse about themselves because they are seeing all these pictures from people's lives of only the happy times and comparing them to their own inner life. The way people communciate an socialize is changing. While it's certainly more techonologically sophistcated, I would argue about it being emotionally sophisticated.

 

I also don't agree that we've become more honest about porn. I think we've just found new ways to hide it. Today a person doesn't actuallly have to even leave their house to aquire porn. They don't have to hand their money over to a person with another face. They can download it right into their home with absoluetely no actual accountability for it. Alot of people might be honest that they look at porn but might hide what they actually look at from their partners. Which is why I think that part of the reason people are more eager to say, "sure I look at porn, what's the big deal", is because they don't actually have to be really accountable for it. But that is only one small componant of it. I don't think we are being more honest about porn just because there is more porn out there today. I think techonlogy has made porn even more isolated and easy to hide then ever before.

 

I would be interested to know how many people today are sincerely happy with their sex lives vs people 50 years ago.

[xxoo]

When it has come to the porn argument, usually one sides sees way more negative then positive and the other side sees way more positives then negatives. Some people are neutral to it. Are you suggesting that the side that seems more positives to porn and the industry are the ones that are more open minded?

 

I am saying that an open minded person will first hear their partner's point of view before making a judgment about their porn use.

[SunandMoon]

I'd do my best so if asked. Heck, if I got a woman and had a healthy/stable amount of sex. Then I wouldn't really see the need to have the porn, 'lest the partner is out of town and you need a stress release or something.

[Els]

Aren't you calling on him to do his duty? Why is his duty and different than yours? Why does it matter if your loins are fired? His needs exist whether you're fired up or not.

 

And the bolded, my friend, is the whole reason you can't get any woman to have sex with you without paying her.

 

Nobody is saying it's 'wrong' for someone to treat sex as a transaction, a part of a bargain, or even a 'duty', simply that the more you do so, the less likely it is for your partner to be interested in it with you. Especially if you treat her own sexual desire as something of no consequence to you. Cause and effect. If you don't believe me, hey, it's your own sexless life - doesn't bother me.

 

Depends on the reason.

 

• "I want you to give up smoking because it's bad for you." OK so this is IMO a reasonable thing to have a relationship discussion over.
• "I want you to give up steak because it's bad for you." Now it's getting thin, but I can see where we would chat about dietary habits and other health related things. Hopefully (if health is really the concern) we could come to a compromise that is palatable (so to speak) for both parties.
• "I want you to give up steak because I've come to believe that meat is murder." Well, now you're being unreasonable. We were compatible when we met, but you've had some sort life changing event and you expect me to change my life to accommodate you. We can discuss it but keep in mind that YOU are the one expecting ME to change to accommodate YOUR life changes. You better sell it really well, because frankly you're not being very loving about it yourself.

 

And so on.

 

If people are deeply involved before they understand each others views on things like diet, exercise, and sex, they are IMO doing it wrong. A sudden change in view is the responsibility of the changer to manage.

 

Yep, agreed completely. It's pretty uncommon for men to care about their partner's porn usage, but if, hypothetically, my bf came to me and said, "I'm going through a rough patch with insecurity right now, and I hope you can help me get over it by not watching porn temporarily", I would absolutely stop for him. But if it was a demand, or something like, "I think watching porn is cheating", it would lead me to question our R and compatibility.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I am saying that an open minded person will first hear their partner's point of view before making a judgment about their porn use.

 

I think in any relationship with any problem, a person needs patience and respect to hear their partner out. But that doesn't mean they need to like the thing they are doing. That works both ways. Not just for the person that doesn't like the porn use but for the person using the porn. It's not really fair either way to say, "This person is just being controlling because they don't like porn or want it in their relationship, they are close minded" or "This person is just being controlling because they like porn and do want to keep using it, they are cloes minded."

 

If someone they care about is doing something they dislike, they can certainly show respect to that person and have a discussion with them where both parties discuss their feelings. That's for sure. But to insist that one person have no judgements or thoughts of their own on the subject in question...not too sure about that part.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Yep, agreed completely. It's pretty uncommon for men to care about their partner's porn usage, but if, hypothetically, my bf came to me and said, "I'm going through a rough patch with insecurity right now, and I hope you can help me get over it by not watching porn temporarily", I would absolutely stop for him. But if it was a demand, or something like, "I think watching porn is cheating", it would lead me to question our R and compatibility.

 

Porn tends to be a highly male driven media to begin with so it's pretty understandable why men care less about their partner's porn use. It's primarily a fantasy world created for men first. Usually there is much more pressure on the looks of the women and what is happening to her then the guys. There is a whole host of reasons men don't care about their women's porn use.

 

But I think "demanding" anything, even if something makes sense, would put anyone's back up. No one likes to have demands placed on them. Although, I don't think that thinking watching porn is a type of cheating is a "demand". It might make you uncompatable though. Especially if you use porn.

[Robert Z]

I disagree with the idea that society is more "honest" or "sophisticated", on a human level at least. We are pretty sophisticated on a technology level but I do think there is a debt we pay for that. I see a lot of other things going to the wayside because techonlogy is overtaking it. More computer interaction and less real life interaction seems to be the name of the day. I will use Facebook as an example because I'm not a fan of Facebook either. It's become a way for people to feel connected and over important in their self idolazation. Yet some studies show that people (especially kids) that regularly use Facebook end up feeling worse about themselves because they are seeing all these pictures from people's lives of only the happy times and comparing them to their own inner life. The way people communciate an socialize is changing. While it's certainly more techonologically sophistcated, I would argue about it being emotionally sophisticated.

 

I didn't say we are more sophisticated in all manner. I was talking about sex and our most basic human desires. When I was a kid, you didn't dare admit that you masturbate. Now it's no big deal to admit it. I call that honesty, and as a result, a more sophisticated view. We all do it. Big deal. Back in the day, young boys and men were often punished if caught masturbating. And there was probably a time and place where it could bring the death penalty. How sophisticated was that?

 

I also don't agree that we've become more honest about porn. I think we've just found new ways to hide it. Today a person doesn't actuallly have to even leave their house to aquire porn. They don't have to hand their money over to a person with another face. They can download it right into their home with absoluetely no actual accountability for it. Alot of people might be honest that they look at porn but might hide what they actually look at from their partners. Which is why I think that part of the reason people are more eager to say, "sure I look at porn, what's the big deal", is because they don't actually have to be really accountable for it. But that is only one small componant of it. I don't think we are being more honest about porn just because there is more porn out there today. I think techonlogy has made porn even more isolated and easy to hide then ever before.

 

No way. I have had discussions with women I barely know that I wouldn't have had with my best friend in years past. You are changing the notion of honesty to some abstract concept of accountability. Honesty means a willingness to admit the truth. There is no doubt that talk about sex and personal admissions of desires has grown more and more acceptable in the public domain over the course of my life. Did you know that the first time a married couple was ever seen in the same bed, on TV, was on The Bob Newhart Show? That was in the 1970s. Can you imagine that we were so anal as a society, and so afraid of our own sexuality that even married couples couldn't be seen fully clothed in the same bed.

 

I would be interested to know how many people today are sincerely happy with their sex lives vs people 50 years ago.

 

I wonder how many women then felt a duty to keep their husbands happy, as opposed to now. I'd bet there is a HUUUUUUUGE difference. And imo there is part of the reason why porn is huge with married men.

 

It all comes down to the same question for me. Is he getting what he needs from his wife? As for younger men, they have always been a walking hormone with a permanent erection. Nothing has changed there.

[somedude81]

Well, making conditions like that is just about as controlling as saying "NO PORN." Probably both equally relationship-murdering, for me, anyway.

And that is the point.

 

If she demands no porn, I'll demand that she get me off every time instead.

 

Hopefully though, when I do get into a relationship, she'll have a sex drive that at least matches my own or doesn't mind giving pleasure and in a situation like that, I can't see myself needing porn.

[xxoo]

But to insist that one person have no judgements or thoughts of their own on the subject in question...not too sure about that part.

 

But what is the subject? Porn in general? Ok. We may each be decently informed about that subject.

 

A partner's individual porn use? We can't make judgments about that subject without first learning about it.

[Els]

Porn tends to be a highly male driven media to begin with so it's pretty understandable why men care less about their partner's porn use. It's primarily a fantasy world created for men first. Usually there is much more pressure on the looks of the women and what is happening to her then the guys. There is a whole host of reasons men don't care about their women's porn use.

 

But I think "demanding" anything, even if something makes sense, would put anyone's back up. No one likes to have demands placed on them. Although, I don't think that thinking watching porn is a type of cheating is a "demand". It might make you uncompatable though. Especially if you use porn.

 

I agree with most of this. I do think some men have reasons for feeling uncomfortable with porn, especially considering how well some of the male actors are endowed. But regardless it's true that a large portion of porn is targeted at men, though this is changing.

[123321]

There are many reasons and many situations. Am I really suppose to list each one? Or are you just baiting me and mocking me? I can't tell with the wink.

 

The wink is because I thought "reasonable reason" was odd sounding but it nonetheless expressed my meaning.

 

Just name ... 3 reasons.

 

So nothing, out of all those "many reasons"?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Good sex, no porn necessary for myself.

 

WeAllMightBeNuts, what is good sex for you?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I didn't say we are more sophisticated in all manner. I was talking about sex and our most basic human desires. When I was a kid, you didn't dare admit that you masturbate. Now it's no big deal to admit it. I call that honesty, and as a result, a more sophisticated view. We all do it. Big deal. Back in the day, young boys and men were often punished if caught masturbating. And there was probably a time and place where it could bring the death penalty. How sophisticated was that?

 

I was talking about sex too! I said tecnology is certainly more sophisticated but not neccesarily how people deal with sexuality. Just because sex is more talked about in society today, more "in your face", doesn't mean we are dealing with it in a healthy manner. I don't see much balance in human beings when it comes to sex. And I think balance is pretty key. This is on a social level, not an individual level. There is no way to say who deals with it healthy and who doesn't. All I know is that in our culture, if we are going to by by media representations, we don't deal with sexuality any healthier today then before. We've gone from one spectrum to another in a very short time. I don't equate more sexual talk without absolute to equal a more healthy mentality abotu sexuality. Now if the sexual talked focuses on healthy things and real communication and openning between the genders, that's great. But in our culture sexuality has taken on a form of sensationalism that I don't believe is healthy at all. And I think people do eventually take that into the bedroom with them.

 

 

No way. I have had discussions with women I barely know that I wouldn't have had with my best friend in years past. You are changing the notion of honesty to some abstract concept of accountability. Honesty means a willingness to admit the truth. There is no doubt that talk about sex and personal admissions of desires has grown more and more acceptable in the public domain over the course of my life. Did you know that the first time a married couple was ever seen in the same bed, on TV, was on The Bob Newhart Show? That was in the 1970s. Can you imagine that we were so anal as a society, and so afraid of our own sexuality that even married couples couldn't be seen fully clothed in the same bed.

 

 

I don't think that having discussions with people you barely know about sexuality is exactly "honesty". How easy is it to say anything you want to someone you barely know vs the people in your own life? You don't infact have to be accountable to them for anything. It's easy to let it all hang out with people you barely know because you got nothing to loose. But what about with people in your own life? How honest are people beeing then?

 

I am not changing the notion of honesty to an abstract concept of accountabilty. To be honest, is to be accountable. The reality is that people don't have to be accountable to anyone about what they are looking at or doing. This means that they are probably pushing the limits more and more everyday. At some point, between the Bob Newart Show and Sex In The City, things do begin to tip. I think that people are less honest about what they are actually doing sexually and what they are actually looking at then they are being honest about it. It's easy to blow off the topic of porn with, "everyone looks at it/men are horny. it's no big deal". But is a abig deal. To all of us. Sexuality is a big deal. Just because humans have been horny since the dawn of time doesn't make sexuality any less of a big deal.

 

What you see through your example of Bob Newhart is how quickly things have changed in a very short period of time. It's like going from one extreme to another. It's not balanced.

 

 

I wonder how many women then felt a duty to keep their husbands happy, as opposed to now. I'd bet there is a HUUUUUUUGE difference. And imo there is part of the reason why porn is huge with married men.

 

I'm sorry but this doesn't have anthing to do with my question. I doubt there was as much sexual pressure on women years ago as there is today. It seems that the demands on women to be a certain way and look a certain way have become much more pressure filled. My grandmother didnt have to deal with half the issues I have to deal with concerning men and relationships. My grandpop was happy with her as is. They never owned a computer. I highly doubt they looked at porn. And I am not saing that just because they were my grandparents but because of who they were.

 

 

It all comes down to the same question for me. Is he getting what he needs from his wife?

 

That seems very one sided. Also, what is the point in her working to meet his needs if all he is going to do anyway is jerk off?

 

As for younger men, they have always been a walking hormone with a permanent erection. Nothing has changed there.

 

Younger women are horny too you know.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

And that is the point.

 

If she demands no porn, I'll demand that she get me off every time instead.

 

Hopefully though, when I do get into a relationship, she'll have a sex drive that at least matches my own or doesn't mind giving pleasure and in a situation like that, I can't see myself needing porn.

 

What if she said, "Baby, I will do my best to meet your sexual needs most of the time, but sometimes, I'm not going to be able to do that because I am human. But if I meet your needs most of the time, do you still need to look at porn everytime I can't meet your needs?"

[Disenchantedly Yours]

But what is the subject? Porn in general? Ok. We may each be decently informed about that subject.

 

A partner's individual porn use? We can't make judgments about that subject without first learning about it.

 

 

As I said before, two people need to respect each other while discussing any issue in their relationship. This does not mean they don't get to have their own opinion on what is happening in the relationship or whatever it is they don't like. No one tells a man not to judge a woman that is struggling with his porn use. Usually what is said is, "she is just insecure, she will get over it, she is being up tight". There are tons of preconceived judgements placed on women especially if they don't believe porn is the best thing in the world. Why is it then no one ever tells anyone else not to judge those women? But someone judging someone using porn? That's close minded?

 

To me, porn is really really misogynistic toward women. If it's not that, it's certainly objectifying and stereotyping of them, again, *to me*. If I was with a man that enjoyed something I already thought was misogynistic, objectifying and stereotyping, I am naturally going to question what exactly he thinks of women in general. I don't think that makes me close minded. If a man is looking at teen porn, which actually proves to be one of the most popular types of porn out there (yay for aging women), I'm the close minded one because I don't think that's cool?

 

I will ask you again, are you claiming I am a close minded?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

So nothing, out of all those "many reasons"?

 

123, I was busy making other posts at the time inbetween walking away from the computer to do other things and I completely missed your last post. But I really don't think you're really respecting anything I have to say to begin with. We both know you won't like any reason I give and you will argue the resasonableness of it.How do I know? You were very quick with this post to be sarcastic about my comment about the "many reasons". You already don't think I would have any good reasons on why someone would change their porn habits. Am I wrong?

 

And I guess I am personally a little afraid to say the reasons why I think would be good to give up porn. I'm tired of everyone telling me how wrong I am about porn and how stupid I am. I just want a guy that's into me. Not one that's always looking at pornstars. I don't think that's unreasonable. I want to feel beatiful and sexy to him. I don't want to be with a guy that's always visually looking for the bigger better deal and supports an industry that I personally believe is pretty damning of womenkind in general. I get that you and a lot of men LOVE porn. What do you want me to say?

[joystickd]

Why even ask someone to stop doing something? If they have done before they met you and continue until you asked them to stop then there is no reason to ask them to stop because you knew about it accepted it on some level by even continuing being with the person.

[123321]

I guess I am personally a little afraid to say the reasons why I think would be good to give up porn. I'm tired of everyone telling me how wrong I am about porn and how stupid I am. I just want a guy that's into me. Not one that's always looking at pornstars. I don't think that's unreasonable.

 

That's not the question, I actually agree completely with what I quoted above.

 

What I honestly doubt is that there are "many" valid reasons for a person to go into a relationship with a clear understanding that they were OK with a certain amount of porn use, perhaps even participating or encouraging it, and then demanding their partner stop.

 

That sort of 180 degree change isn't the problem of the person who is watching it happen, it's (excluding exceptional circumstance) the person who is experiencing the change who should shoulder responsibility for fitting the change into the relationship.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Why even ask someone to stop doing something? If they have done before they met you and continue until you asked them to stop then there is no reason to ask them to stop because you knew about it accepted it on some level by even continuing being with the person.

 

You already asked this question a few pages back and I answered it.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

123321

That's not the question, I actually agree completely with what I quoted above.

 

I don't understand what you are saying 123..What's not the question and what do you completely agree with that you qouted about? I no longer understand what you are saying.

 

 

What I honestly doubt is that there are "many" valid reasons for a person to go into a relationship with a clear understanding that they were OK with a certain amount of porn use, perhaps even participating or encouraging it, and then demanding their partner stop.

 

That sort of 180 degree change isn't the problem of the person who is watching it happen, it's (excluding exceptional circumstance) the person who is experiencing the change who should shoulder responsibility for fitting the change into the relationship.

 

Who said anything about participating and encouraging it and then demanding their partner stop???????

 

When I am in a relationship, it's 50/50. It's about two people trying to meet each other's needs, working things out together, learning from each other, and growing together both as individuals but together as a couple as well. I don't think it's about one person going on their merry way while the other person charts the ship by themselves.

[123321]

Let me be more clear.

 

 

I just want a guy that's into me. Not one that's always looking at pornstars. I don't think that's unreasonable.

That's not the question, I actually agree completely with what I quoted above.

 

I'm saying I agree that it's reasonable for you to want a guy who's into you, and who shares your views WRT porn and other life choices.

 

 

 

 

What I honestly doubt is that there are "many" valid reasons for a person to go into a relationship with a clear understanding that they were OK with a certain amount of porn use, perhaps even participating or encouraging it, and then demanding their partner stop.

 

That sort of 180 degree change isn't the problem of the person who is watching it happen, it's (excluding exceptional circumstance) the person who is experiencing the change who should shoulder responsibility for fitting the change into the relationship.

 

Who said anything about participating and encouraging it and then demanding their partner stop???????

 

We are discussing someone asking their partner to stop viewing porn. I contend that this is something that should have been discussed early in the relationship.

 

Given that, I'm going with the scenario where porn was OK or even encouraged early on but for whatever reason one partner has had an epiphany and decided that porn has no place in the future of the relationship.

 

Is that a clear scenario for you?

 

So what are three or so of the many good reasons to justify such a demand for change?

[joystickd]

Because it's real life and in real life we are comforted with all kinds of things in relationships? I don't really know anyone that 100% likes everything their partner does or thinks their partner is perfect. Man or woman. If a man asks his wife to spend less money or no money for awhile on something is that a bad thing?

 

When my parents met my dad smoked cigars. My Mom tried to get him to quit. He eventually did and would talk about how it was one of the best things he had ever done. My brother's fiance helps him to make healthier eating choices. He actually really likes that about her and was talking about this today with me. I am not saying that needs to be the case with porn. It's up to each individual couple. Some people are just fine with porn. But it doesn't always have to be a negative thing to change behavior. And changing behavior can even be a positive thing. Now I am not saying this is how your relatoinships should be. You should be with a woman that likes porn as much as you do. Since porn is important to you. I'm just saying that a change doesn't always have to be negative.

 

What's the benefit for me to change behavior? Its not about porn its the principle. You knew what I do but now all of the sudden it has to stop. In real life no one really stops or starts anything unless it benefits them. When it comes to me if it don't benefit me then you have to give up something. If you can't show me how it benefits me or you give up something then you should get on like you got s**t on.

[Robert Z]

I was talking about sex too! I said tecnology is certainly more sophisticated but not neccesarily how people deal with sexuality. Just because sex is more talked about in society today, more "in your face", doesn't mean we are dealing with it in a healthy manner. I don't see much balance in human beings when it comes to sex. And I think balance is pretty key. This is on a social level, not an individual level. There is no way to say who deals with it healthy and who doesn't. All I know is that in our culture, if we are going to by by media representations, we don't deal with sexuality any healthier today then before. We've gone from one spectrum to another in a very short time. I don't equate more sexual talk without absolute to equal a more healthy mentality abotu sexuality. Now if the sexual talked focuses on healthy things and real communication and openning between the genders, that's great. But in our culture sexuality has taken on a form of sensationalism that I don't believe is healthy at all. And I think people do eventually take that into the bedroom with them.

 

You keep changing your criteria. Healty is not the same as honest. Accountability isn't the same thing as sophistication. I think I understand your objection but I don't see how it applies to my argument. The fact is, not that long ago, sex was not generally up for discussion. It is healthy to bring it out of the closet. That doesn't mean that everything that's happened is healthy.

 

But then I have to seriously question the entire notion of "healthy". What you call unhealthy, I say probably saved my life. What I needed was sex. I didn't need a healthy discussion or to get in touch with my feelings. And I definitely didn't need to wait and fall in love again to get laid. I didn't even want to try. I just needed plain old sex. Having sex with a complete stranger [two, actually] completely changed my life. Now I look forward to life. I am taking care of myself far better than I have in years. I am socially active and my confidence has returned. Is that healthy? Well, chalk it all up to cheap meaningless sex because that is what made all the difference.

 

Though at $500 an hour, each, it wasn't exactly cheap!

 

Now I have a fantastic sex life with three beautiful young women who make me very happy. And it is far less expensive for all three than all of the grief I suffered while trying to be a good and loyal husband... to a woman who thought sex was optional.

 

I don't think that having discussions with people you barely know about sexuality is exactly "honesty". How easy is it to say anything you want to someone you barely know vs the people in your own life? You don't infact have to be accountable to them for anything. It's easy to let it all hang out with people you barely know because you got nothing to loose. But what about with people in your own life? How honest are people beeing then?

 

I have been completely honest with my wife. I said goodbye. And thanks for stealing my best years with your lies.

 

I am not changing the notion of honesty to an abstract concept of accountabilty. To be honest, is to be accountable. The reality is that people don't have to be accountable to anyone about what they are looking at or doing. This means that they are probably pushing the limits more and more everyday. At some point, between the Bob Newart Show and Sex In The City, things do begin to tip. I think that people are less honest about what they are actually doing sexually and what they are actually looking at then they are being honest about it. It's easy to blow off the topic of porn with, "everyone looks at it/men are horny. it's no big deal". But is a abig deal. To all of us. Sexuality is a big deal. Just because humans have been horny since the dawn of time doesn't make sexuality any less of a big deal.

 

Why should anyone have to be accountable to anyone for their most basic desires? Is this a religious thing for you? It is now sounding like a faith based argument.

 

 

I'm sorry but this doesn't have anthing to do with my question. I doubt there was as much sexual pressure on women years ago as there is today.

 

Religion instructed women to be submissive to their husbands. Now submissive is a dirty word. It has everything to do with the discussion. Maybe if women were a little less liberated and a bit more considerate of men's needs, not so many men would need porn. But instead of recognizing that men need plain old sex, women want to always make it all about love and their needs. Many are unwilling to recognize that men have a different sexual nature.

 

Tell me this. If you really plan to keep a man happy, would are you so worried about him needing porn? See, I see this as a power play. You probably expect to have sex when you feel like it and never any other time, but you want his total dedication to you. Right?

 

If your man agreed to never look at porn, would you agree to put out whenever he needs sex [within reason, I don't mean at the grocery store]? If not then you have no right to complain. You are simply refusing to recognize his needs. You are defining sex to be how you see it, instead of trying to understand how many men see it. Sex and love can be two completely separate things for a man.

 

That seems very one sided. Also, what is the point in her working to meet his needs if all he is going to do anyway is jerk off?

 

Thank you for demonstrating my point so clearly. Indeed, what do his needs matter? There you have it in a nutshell.

 

Now you know why men need porn... and prostitutes, as well.

Edited July 1, 2012 by Robert Z

[Silly_Girl]

Please understand that this is just innocent curiosity. I am the last one to judge anyone in this regard.

 

Why would you need stimuli from porn if you have a great sex life? Is it just a matter of sex not always being available when you need it? Or could you desire additional stimulation even after a rewarding session in bed?

 

It's different. It's like asking why you need cake if you've just eaten ice cream

 

I like lots of things and they're never going to be available fully through one channel. I could spend the night shagging, have several orgasms and feel pretty bloody fulfilled but in the morning, if he's gone to work and I wake horny it might be the perfect time to use porn.

 

And I enjoy watching porn with my other half too. I can't get my head around why having a great sex life would mean giving up porn. To me, porn and masturbation are PART of a great sex life.

[Robert Z]

It's different. It's like asking why you need cake if you've just eaten ice cream

 

I like lots of things and they're never going to be available fully through one channel. I could spend the night shagging, have several orgasms and feel pretty bloody fulfilled but in the morning, if he's gone to work and I wake horny it might be the perfect time to use porn.

 

And I enjoy watching porn with my other half too. I can't get my head around why having a great sex life would mean giving up porn. To me, porn and masturbation are PART of a great sex life.

 

I think I love you.