Why is she acting like this?!?! We were perfect, and now...

[Anubis]

Ok. This is something that is very important to me; so, please..dont reply with any stupid or dumb things. Ok. Here

 

we go...There was this girl..I first met her my freshman year of high school. She was one of the only friends I

 

had at the time. I didnt have many my freshman year. I was in a new school, with a lot of new people. So, I felt

 

really close to this girl. After a while, I started feeling more than just a friendship connection. I told her one day

 

of my feelings, which, I NEVER expected her to want to be with me. She was one of those girls that was "Mrs.

 

Popular." Well, at the time..she had a boyfriend, but I told her anyways. I told her how I felt and she just said

 

that she wanted to be my friend. Well, I was of course heart broken. But I eventually moved on. We talked online

 

every now and then. But not to often anymore..Well, about 3 years later. I now have a girlfriend, and we have been

 

together for about a year and 5 months. This starts the story as of a few weeks ago...

 

 

I was online chatting with a friend of mine about 3 weeks ago. Well, he had a girl (the subject of this thread) over

 

at his house. Well, she gets on his name and starts talking to me. Well, her and I talk for a little bit, and she asks

 

me what I was doing the next day. I didnt have anything planned, so, I told her that. Well..at like 2:00pm the

 

next day, she comes over to my house, and her and I talk. I find out that she is engaged to be married in

 

November of this year, to the same guy she was dating in high school. Well, I didnt know that. I was shocked. So,

 

her and I continue talking. Pretty much spending the next few hours of the day just talking and catching up..

 

 

Well, the next day comes around, and she gets online and asks me if she can come over again. Of course, I say yes.

 

So, she comes over, and we talk. A lot. About just some other stuff. Just more catching up. Well, towards the end

 

of the day...She gets a text message from her "fiance." He tells her that he is on the verge of crying because she

 

wasnt there with him. She showed this to me, and I couldnt believe what I was reading. I started thining to

 

myself..Well..seeing that I am a guy, and know most of the games guys play..because I play them, or have played

 

them in the past..I knew that he was completely trying to play the guilt trip on her.

 

 

So, I tell her that she doesnt have to take that stuff. And I ask her if he does that all the time, and she said

 

yes. Well..I tell her some of the things that I USED to do, and she said he does ALL of those things. Well..We

 

continue talking and then she gets another text on her cell phone from him, saying that he misses her so much and

 

that he is so worried because he doesnt know where she is. But she told him that she would be going over to a

 

friends house. (That friend was me) But anyway

 

 

Well, for the next few days, this process continues...she would come over and we would talk. I would tell her that

 

the things he is doing to her are wrong. She doesnt need to put up with that, and pretty much trying to make her

 

feel better for herself because he has beaten her down mentally so much. Well, about another week of her coming

 

over and us talking, I have to go on vacation..I went on a trip with my girlfriend to Canada.

 

 

My girlfriend and I hadnt exactly been doing that great. Even before this girl showed up. We would always fight,

 

and we would always argue. She acts very immature for her age. I hate that. I had been thinking about breaking up

 

with her, but since I was spending so much time helping out this friend of mine with her relationship..I didnt even

 

have time for my girlfriend. Which I didnt mind that much. I would have rather spent time helping out my friend

 

anyways..

 

 

I went on vacation for a week, and the entire time I was there..All I could think about was her. I wanted to know

 

how she was doing and how she was handling this situation with her fiance. But I couldnt call her because I was in

 

Canada, and we live in Georgia. So, thats why I couldnt make contact. Well, I get back home after a week in

 

Canada, and she comes over the very next day. Well, her and I are just the same before we left, but I noticed

 

something weird about her...

 

 

One thing..She never spoke of her fiance. Two, she wasnt wearing an engagement ring anymore. Three, When she

 

did talk about him, it was ALL bad things. So, she finally came out and told me that she broke up with her finace.

 

I was floored. I didnt know what to think. I was just in a state of shock.

 

 

Well, she knew how I had felt for her in high school, and she still knows that there are feelings there for her. But

 

she tells her not go get the wrong idea about her and I. She said that she only wanted us to be friends and nothing

 

more. She told me she didnt break up with him for me. I was fine with that. I never expected anything more. I

 

didnt expect her to come running to me. I never did.

 

 

Well, the next night..Her and I are talking on MSN and we start talking about somethings that we would like to do.

 

We find out that we both would REALLY like to go out to California and lie on the beach and watch a sunset and

 

then sleep under the stars. So, she asks me.."Would you like to go out to California with me one day and do that?"

 

And I'm sitting there thinking...Oh my god, she must be joking. But I say yes, and she was excited about it. But

 

then she says.."Well, wait. We have a beach here. Why dont we go and do it here 1st, because it may be a while

 

before we get out to California." I tell her thats fine, and we make plans to go the next night.

 

 

I get home from work at like 9:00pm, and she is waiting on my garage on me. I walk in, and I see her and I ask her

 

how long shes been there, and she said about 10 minutes. I go inside and change. Come back out and her and I

 

drive to the beach in seperate cars. When we get there..We get out, and go on the beach. Its pitch black outside,

 

really cloudy, kinda rainy, lightnining a few miles away. It was perfect. It seemed like the perfect setting.

 

 

Her and I just walked on the beach and talked. I could tell her was having a good time, and so was I. So, her and

 

I find a rock to sit on. We sit there and talk for about 2 hours. Its starts to rain a little, so we get up and walk

 

around a little more. Well, it starts lightning REALLY bad, so we run onto land and we are trying to find the main

 

part of the island. It seems we are lost. I didnt care at the time. I was just happy to be there with her. It seems

 

she didnt care either.

 

 

So, her and I are walking pretty much trying to dodge lightning, and we find a gazebo under the lighthouse on our

 

beach. We sit there and just talk. She was so beautiful that night. I wanted to tell her, but I wasnt sure how she

 

would react to it. But she could tell that I was thinking about something. So, she kept asking me what I was

 

thinking about. I tell her. I say.."I think you are very beautiful, and this night couldnt have gone any better." And

 

she just sits there staring at me. She says.."Thank you. I've been having a lot of fun with you." So, we just sit

 

there staring into eachothers eyes for about 30 minutes...Then she tells me that she hasnt been able to stop

 

thinking about me all night. Same went for me. She was in almost every thought I had.

 

 

It was great. I had never felt so good. And I could tell she hadn't either. Well, we get tired of just sitting, so we

 

go back to walking. The rain and lightning had let up a little, so we could walk without fear of being struck. Well,

 

we decide to walk on the pier. And at this point, its like 1:00am. So, we get down to the pier. We sit down on the

 

very edge over-looking the ocean. It was very breezy. She looked so beautiful with the wind blowing through her

 

hair that night. But we continue talking, but this wasnt exactly just "talking." We started talking about some of the

 

feeling that were showing up that night. She was telling me that all night she had butterflies in her stomach, and

 

she had never felt that way before. I ask her if thats a good thing? and she says.."Yes, its a great thing."

 

 

So, we continue talking about the feelings we have for one another, and it is so great. We get a little confused

 

about it because she just got out of a 4 year relationship that was leading to a marriage. I knew she wasnt ready

 

for another relationship. And I currently had a girlfriend. But that was the least of my worries. I was ready to end

 

it with her anyways..I started telling her about my past, and how the past 2 girlfriends I had pretty much played

 

me as the rebound. I went out with one girl. This was my sophomore year in high school, and she was a senior. She

 

had just recently broken up with her boyfriend. Well, her and I hit it off very well. But about 3 days later...She

 

breaks up with me, and starts going back out with him. The same exact thing happened a week later, but with a

 

different girl. I had never felt so bad in my life after that happened.

 

 

So, back to the story..Her and I are sitting on the pier, and I am telling her about my past. I tell her about the

 

two girls that did that to me, and she says.."I will never do that to you." At this point..I am thinking.."Alright,

 

this couldnt possibly get any better." Well, we sit there for a little bit, silent. Then she asks me, "How do you want

 

to handle this?" I tell her that I dont know, and there was no way I could know. I asked her the same question.

 

"How would you want to handle this?" She also says she doesnt know. So, we sit there trying to figure this out. We

 

dont really know what to think about this whole situation.

 

 

Never had I thought I would be getting the chance to be with this girl. Only 4 years ago..was I thinking about this

 

same girl. But, at this point in the evening..Its like 3:00am. We go back to our cars. We are talking about leaving,

 

and going home, but we just cant bring ourselves to leave eachother. It was hard leaving her that morning. But after

 

we leave, I go to a friends house. She was all I could think about. I wasnt having fun at my friends house, so I

 

leave and go home. I try and sleep, but it is not easy at all. Every thought I had was about her.

 

 

Well, the next day, she is on her lunch break at work, so she comes over. I am of course sleeping, but she wakes

 

me up. It was the only time I have ever actually wanted to be woken up. I was just really happy to see her. She has

 

to go back to work after only being at my house for about 15 minutes.

 

 

Well, that night..She gets online after work. We talk about making plans for the night. I ask her if we would like

 

to go back to the island. She says Yes. So, we go back to the island, but I pick her up this time. We get there,

 

and go straight down to the beach. We go as far down as we could again, but we see this one spot that isnt wet,

 

and sit there. After a few minutes of just sitting there, and talking. I lay down, and just look into the sky. I sit

 

back up, because it was a little uncomfortable. But then she lays down. She asks me if I would like to lay with her.

 

Of course I want to, so I lay with her. She puts her arms around me, and I do the same. We just lay there for

 

about 3 hours just staring into eachother eyes. After the time we spent looking at eachother. I sit up, and all that

 

was running through my mind was.."I WANT TO KISS HER SO BAD."

 

 

Well, she could tell that there was something going through my mind, and she asks me.."What are you thinking

 

about?" I tell her..I say.."I have really wanted to kiss you all night." And she tells me.."I've tried to kiss you

 

already like 2 times." I was like WHAT?! I didnt know. I didnt see that she was trying. So, I lean down, and I kiss

 

her. We must have laid there for about 2 hours, and just made out. It was complete bliss. I had never in my life

 

been so happy. We finally finish, and we decide to leave, because its like 4:00am. Time flies whenever you are with

 

the girl that you have wanted for about 4 years.

 

 

We go back to her house..Whenever we get there, she turns off the car after I am stopped, and grabs the keys

 

from the ignition, and takes them. She walks inside with my keys. She told me to come in. So, I do. We almost

 

immediately go straight to her bed and continue making out. Its like 5:30am she gets a call from her work, telling

 

her that she needs to come in early. So, I have to leave. I really didnt want to leave, but I had to. I go home, and

 

I sleep for the rest of the evening. Ever since her and I started talking..I havent had much time for sleep.

 

 

Well, the next day..She calls me while I am sleeping and she tells me to meet her somewhere because she has

 

something she needs to tell me. She had just come from the doctor. She tells me some of the things that the

 

doctor had told her. I got a little worried. I dont want anything to happen to her. Well, after we discuss some of

 

those things. She says that she is tired, and wants to go home and sleep. So, we leave. I go home. She goes home.

 

She gets online, and tells me that she cant sleep. And that she is going out for some ice cream.

 

 

I am sitting here thinking to myself.."Hmm..Did she not want me to come?" But I didnt say that to her. I just say

 

alright. Well..I am at home for the rest of the day, waiting on her to call me and see if we were doing anything.

 

She doesnt call me all day. So, I stay home for the night. I didnt want to make any plans with someone else, and

 

then her call me and want to do something. She doesnt call me all night either. I'm sitting at home thinking..."Ok,

 

whats going on?" "We just spent the last two nights together, and we both had admitted that they were the best

 

nights we've never had. Why hasnt she at least called me to say Hey?" Well, I send her an email asking her why she

 

hadnt called me in 2 days.

 

 

She sends me one back saying all this stuff like I am acting like her fiance, and thats why she broke up with him

 

because he was always checking up on her. And she says that all she ever wanted was to just be friends. There is

 

NO WAY that she just wants to be just "friends." She told me on the island that night that she wanted to be more.

 

She wanted more with me than just a friendship. I wasnt sending her that email to check up..I was just trying to

 

get a reason for her not even communicating with me for the past 2 days. She could have even called me and told

 

me she had plans with someone else, and I would have been fine with that. I just wanted to hear from her.

 

 

Well..I send her back this like 4 page long email trying to explain myself, and trying to get her to tell me what had

 

happened to her. Its like all the feelings she said she had for me in the past few nights, mean nothing now. Well, I

 

sent her this email 2 nights ago. She finally calls me the same night I send her the email to tell me that she has

 

plans. At this point..I am really hurt. Her and I went from being more happy than we have ever been..to just not

 

talking, and to her seeming like she doesnt care at all anymore.

 

 

She called me last night, around 10:30. She just sits there on the phone. She has nothing to say. I tell her that

 

we need to talk, but its seems she has nothing to say. So, I talk. I ask her why she's been acting this way..She

 

just says..I dont know. I am thinking to myself...I cant believe what I am hearing. I am sitting there, just kind of

 

like..Oh my god. Then, 10 minutes later, and she called me, she just says..."Alright, I think I am going to get off

 

the phone now." I am sitting here like...WHAT?!? This is the first time we have spoken in like 3 days, and she just

 

wanted to get off the phone and not talk about it. There is definitly something to talk about. I just want to know

 

why she was acting like this. Especially after the two INCREDIBLE nights we spend together.

 

 

I asked her last night whenever she called me, what she was doing for the 4th of July..She said that she already

 

had plans with some other friends. She didnt even bother making plans with me, or telling me of her plans so I could make some. I dont know how to feel

 

about her anymore..

 

 

Please, help. Any advice welcome. I'm looking for some responses from girls. Why is she acting like this? Just let me know something...

 

Thank you.

[Anubis]

I know this is long, but please read it. Its well worth your time. AND...You could be helping me out.. : )

[LatsyrcSC]

Wow, this is tragic. Weird cause I just watched a movie that reminded me of your post. It's called "The Notebook". Honestly I think it's weird how she said she tried to kiss you twice at the beach, yet she only wants to be "friends". She sending mixed signals and sounds like she's playing games. Either she's really into you, but still has feelings for her fiance so she's kinda confused. Or she's trying to make her fiance jealous.

 

Sometimes if I'm dating someone, and they're kinda shady toward me, I'll go out with another guy. He never finds out about it, but I feel inside like I've gotten revenge for it. It's just the fact I know I can have someone else if it comes down to it.

 

I wouldn't get involved with her seriously. You are REALLY gonna end up getting hurt if you're not careful.

[Anubis]

Well, I know she doesnt have anymore feelings for her fiance. He has gone back to his Ex-Girlfriend. She has been hanging out with a lot of other guys. So, it seems that ALL the things her and I did in those two days meant nothing. Well, like I said..I've wanted this girl since my freshman year in High School. I cant just forget all the feelings I've ever had for her. I am trying not to get to involved, but its hard.

[fredrolin]

she knows you are deeply in love with her so she will play you like a fool.

 

You have to start blowing her off.

 

One day she could realize what she lost and she might come crawling back.

 

You have to gain the upper hand. She now holds all the cards so this game will continue to go her way.

[Anubis]

Well, she isnt the type of person to do that kind of thing. I know all girls are capable of acting like that; guys are too, and I know its probably me just saying this because I like her so much, but its hard to picture her "playing me." I dont know. She hasnt called me in about 3-4 days. So, I'm guessing that she has either moved on, or...she moved on. I cant explain why she did this. And from knowing her for so long, and knowing how her personality is..I never would have thought that she would have done this. I figured she would have enough decency to at least call me and tell me that she isnt interested anymore. But, at least I can say that I made out with the girl that I've wanted since the 9th grade : )

 

(Dont think from the last sentence that I am over her, I am not. This is still really hard)

[fredrolin]

your young you have a bright future...you will meet alot of women.

 

Look on the bright side....you had this great infatuation and it was romantic. You can always remember it that way.

 

Most relationship start this way then years and years later the relationship stinks.

 

Your lucky to have the memories.

[Anubis]

I know. But the thing is..I really want her. Like I said, I've wanted her since the 9th grade. I know I should try and stop thinking about her, and I am seriously trying, but its really hard.

[fredrolin]

Originally posted by Anubis

I know. But the thing is..I really want her. Like I said, I've wanted her since the 9th grade. I know I should try and stop thinking about her, and I am seriously trying, but its really hard.

 

 

Well I know from experience only 2 things will help ease your pain.

 

1. time

 

2. keeping busy....don't sit around thinking about her.

[Anubis]

Well..for the past few weeks, things have been pretty good. I haven't thought of her at all, and I am over her. BUT...yesterday, I get an Instant Message on MSN, and its her..Here is what she says..."Im sorry for what I put you through I didnt mean any harm..please forgive me, and lets put this crap in the past.. I am sorry for being wrong in my doings. Please forgive me..." What do I do? I am pretty much over her, and I dont really want her anymore after what she did..I am kind of lost here. I dont know if I should give her another chance. I guess I should mention that in this time I was "forgetting" her, I met someone else. We have gotten really close, and now the she's come back. Please help..Thanks