My boyfriend is taking steroids

[BerryMe]

I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly seven years, I love him very much and we're thinking about marriage/buying a house. A few years ago he got into going to the gym, which is great. Then he started ingesting protein powder every day, then cretin, and a few days ago he told me he's going to take steroids (injections and pills). I told him he was going too far and that I wasn't comfortable with it. He said he already bought them and he's doing it, doesn't care what I think. I've told him I can't support this lifestyle, and he doesn't seem to care. I've started looking for a new apartment for myself, and dealing with the fact that I'm am likely going to leave him. I just don't know what to do. I love him so much but this blatant disregard for my feelings and his own health make me feel ill and distant from him. I'm so confused.

[Gulf-Delta]

Drop this guy.

 

He cares more about drugs than you. Unacceptable.

[fucpcg]

First of all, don't believe anything you see on TV about steroids. I have used them myself for years when I was competing, I have read numerous books, cover to cover, repeatedly, explaining benefits and risks, and proper way to take steroids for function and safety. If you take in an educated manner, the risks and health hazzards are FAR LESS WORSE than things like drinking and smoking. Alcohol kills 75,000 a year in the USA, and regarding cigarettes:

 

More deaths are caused each year by tobacco use than by all deaths from human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), illegal drug use, alcohol use, motor vehicle injuries, suicides, and murders combined. (From CDC)

 

Steroids kill nobody each year. Yes there are some bodybuilder deaths each year, usually it's from poor diuretic use, or use of other drugs that affect body chemisty in drastic ways. They are not commonly used, most other than the pro's have no idea what these drugs even are or where to get, so don't worry there. I could write pages about steroids, but I think I've shared enough to address the safety issue, there is none.

 

I've had girlfriends that I've dated when doing drugs that knew. They knew because I didn't hide it. I tried to explain logically, I demonstrated that in my sport you must do them to be competitive, and they could clearly see that to me, the drugs were about the sport. I didn't run around in bodybuilding clothes, I didn't bar hop to pickup chicks into muscles, I didn't fly off in rage and throw the remote thru the front window, and I was always disciplined enough to run my own business. They could see the horror movies portrayed on TV were total BS.

 

Having said all that, the issue is that he would respond to you that he doesn't care that you being concerned about his usage. I can understand the desire to take them, depending on whether he truly competes, or just wants to look hotter at the beach. Too many unanswered unknowns here. I don't think that is a respectful way he is acting, and that isn't a man to go buy a house with. Lack of respect for your feelings isn't about the steroids, if he was respectful toward you, it would be with every, or any subject. That would be a concern, that is my concern.

 

If you can talk it out, great. If not, I'd be concerned. If you'd like to watch a FABULOUS documentary about steroid use, check out "Bigger, Faster, Stronger". It's as honest and real as it gets.

[Gulf-Delta]

First of all, don't believe anything you see on TV about steroids. I have used them myself for years when I was competing, I have read numerous books, cover to cover, repeatedly, explaining benefits and risks, and proper way to take steroids for function and safety. If you take in an educated manner, the risks and health hazzards are FAR LESS WORSE than things like drinking and smoking. Alcohol kills 75,000 a year in the USA, and regarding cigarettes:

 

More deaths are caused each year by tobacco use than by all deaths from human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), illegal drug use, alcohol use, motor vehicle injuries, suicides, and murders combined. (From CDC)

 

Steroids kill nobody each year. Yes there are some bodybuilder deaths each year, usually it's from poor diuretic use, or use of other drugs that affect body chemisty in drastic ways. They are not commonly used, most other than the pro's have no idea what these drugs even are or where to get, so don't worry there. I could write pages about steroids, but I think I've shared enough to address the safety issue, there is none.

 

I've had girlfriends that I've dated when doing drugs that knew. They knew because I didn't hide it. I tried to explain logically, I demonstrated that in my sport you must do them to be competitive, and they could clearly see that to me, the drugs were about the sport. I didn't run around in bodybuilding clothes, I didn't bar hop to pickup chicks into muscles, I didn't fly off in rage and throw the remote thru the front window, and I was always disciplined enough to run my own business. They could see the horror movies portrayed on TV were total BS.

 

Having said all that, the issue is that he would respond to you that he doesn't care that you being concerned about his usage. I can understand the desire to take them, depending on whether he truly competes, or just wants to look hotter at the beach. Too many unanswered unknowns here. I don't think that is a respectful way he is acting, and that isn't a man to go buy a house with. Lack of respect for your feelings isn't about the steroids, if he was respectful toward you, it would be with every, or any subject. That would be a concern, that is my concern.

 

If you can talk it out, great. If not, I'd be concerned. If you'd like to watch a FABULOUS documentary about steroid use, check out "Bigger, Faster, Stronger". It's as honest and real as it gets.

 

Regardless, he has chosen steroids over her.

[fucpcg]

Regardless, he has chosen steroids over her.

 

Did you read my whole post?

[BerryMe]

He's not a body builder, he is about 6ft, lean, and muscular. I never thought he'd be interested in this kind of thing, and I'm not interested in someone who does it. I love him the way he is and I've tried to explain it to him. I just can't picture him injecting himself with steroids and live with that. The way he reacted was by telling me what you told me, and I honestly don't give a ****. He also told me to watch that movie. It's still dangerous, who knows where they came from, and it's not a monetary or physical expense I want to live with. I just can't handle that he is not the person I thought I knew and he also doesn't care about my opinion on the issue. He bought them first, told me after. We've worked through a lot of minor issues before and love each other very much, I just can't believe this is our deal-breaker:(

[SerCay]

He's not a body builder, he is about 6ft, lean, and muscular. I never thought he'd be interested in this kind of thing, and I'm not interested in someone who does it. I love him the way he is and I've tried to explain it to him. I just can't picture him injecting himself with steroids and live with that. The way he reacted was by telling me what you told me, and I honestly don't give a ****. He also told me to watch that movie. It's still dangerous, who knows where they came from, and it's not a monetary or physical expense I want to live with. I just can't handle that he is not the person I thought I knew and he also doesn't care about my opinion on the issue. He bought them first, told me after. We've worked through a lot of minor issues before and love each other very much, I just can't believe this is our deal-breaker:(

 

Tbh, give him a break. You guys have been together for so long, if everything else is going right between the 2 of you, let this guy have his ''hobby'''. You can express him that you don't like it and don't approve it, and then forget about it. Tell him in the future he has to be more considerate of your opinion, since the 2 of you are a couple with future plans. Having said that, do your thing, be happy in your life. Don't focus about your bf's sport preferences.

 

I have a friend taking them as well,has done nothing bad to him, he's looking much better and is more confident with himself. After a cure of 3 months he stopped because he's happy with the results .

[BerryMe]

Tell him I don't approve and forget about it? Good relationship advice. Shut up and deal with it sounds more like what you're trying to say.

[fucpcg]

Wow. So you didn't want advice then? Okay. Do whatever the F you want, no need to be nasty to the people in here that took their own time to try and be helpful ans share. Loks to me like there are two sides to your rlelationship problems. BuBye

[SerCay]

Wow. So you didn't want advice then? Okay. Do whatever the F you want, no need to be nasty to the people in here that took their own time to try and be helpful ans share. Loks to me like there are two sides to your rlelationship problems. BuBye

 

Thank you fucp..

It's ok...some people don't want advice, they want people to tell them what they want to hear

 

good luck girl..whateverrr

[CopingGal]

Tell him I don't approve and forget about it? Good relationship advice. Shut up and deal with it sounds more like what you're trying to say.

 

 

BerryMe, I know you are upset, but SerCay was just trying to help you. He just has a different opinion that other people that's all.

 

Steroids can be very dangerous and he saddens me that he told you that he doesn't care what you think. This is a HUGE red flag. It's not like he chose to buy a car that was a color you did not like. These are drugs that have caused aggression in abusers. Leave before it gets worse. His reaction tells me he does not care about you as much as you want him to. He sounds like a loser to me.

[fucpcg]

BerryMe, I know you are upset, but SerCay was just trying to help you. He just has a different opinion that other people that's all.

 

Steroids can be very dangerous and he saddens me that he told you that he doesn't care what you think. This is a HUGE red flag. It's not like he chose to buy a car that was a color you did not like. These are drugs that have caused aggression in abusers. Leave before it gets worse. His reaction tells me he does not care about you as much as you want him to. He sounds like a loser to me.

 

Your info on steriods is as inaccurate as the OP's.

[Tiera D]

steroids isnt really a drug like cannibis its more like a more strong version of protein supplements,personally i think its quite ok to consume them although i heard it has some side effects..i agree with the above poster this should not be a dealbreaker.I think you could either have a deep talk with him about reasons why you do not like him to consume it or if you really must,breakup..although i highly advise against it,you might regret it.

 

TD

[CopingGal]

steroids isnt really a drug like cannibis its more like a more strong version of protein supplements,personally i think its quite ok to consume them although i heard it has some side effects..i agree with the above poster this should not be a dealbreaker.I think you could either have a deep talk with him about reasons why you do not like him to consume it or if you really must,breakup..although i highly advise against it,you might regret it.

 

TD

 

 

So obviously Tiera D feels differently compared to most people in this thread. So you have some opinons that differ. Now you have to decide what his behavior means to you and if you want to still be in the relationship.

[fucpcg]

Look at HER behavior. We all in here need to agree with her on her decision with her boyfriend or she will get nasty, need to agree with her bogus claim that the stuff is dangerous, and now she changes story from her bf said he doesn't care if she is bothered by his use of it. Now it's he tried to explain to her like I did but she wasn't having it, either they go or she goes. She lied, she tried to manipulate us wi5h her first post, then blasted us for not agreeing in her second post.

 

Based on her behavior, I can see why he's not interested in agreeing with her.

[fucpcg]

So obviously Tiera D feels differently compared to most people in this thread.

 

Seriously? You were the only one to agree with her in this thread.

[Tiera D]

CopingGal i think girls and guys have not the same opinion on these things,although i had to agree with the poster above me,if the OP is unable to accept things like these shes gona have a hard time in the relationship,without tolerance on both sides the relationship would die

 

TD

[CopingGal]

Tiera D, I forced myself to tolerate things in my exes that I considered to be bad. I forced and forced myself to tolerate them so that I could let them be themselves. I tried not to be judgemental and push my feelings down...and for what? They ended up treating me like crap anyway. It wasn't a good idea. I won't do it again.

 

But you know it's not just the fact that he's doing it. It's the fact that he said he didn't care what she thought. Very rude. I think the OP is better off leaving.

[fucpcg]

/The way he reacted was by telling me what you told me, and I honestly don't give a ****. He also told me to watch that movie.

 

I just can't handle that he is not the person I thought I knew and he also doesn't care about my opinion on the issue. (

 

Did you girls read the whole thread?? She went from "he told me he doesn't care what I think about it", to he actually tried to explain it to her, he suggested a documentary that would educate her tremendously on the subject.... and her reply was "honestly don't give a $hit". He doesn't care about how she feels about it. Apparently he does if he took the time to try and explain it to her. They both shared their opinions, but she doesn't give a $hit about his, because it doesn't agree with her feelings on the subject. She didn't care for mine nor SerCay's opinion because it didn't agree with hers.

 

Another thread I am done with. If you can't see thru the OP's scam she is running that her boyfriend is all bad and she is an angel, as I have said before in here, I'm not going to explain it to you.

 

Additionally, unless this girl doesn't drink, and doesn't smoke, or do any illicit drugs, and basically lives like a Nun, she is in no position to make a judgement call on steroid use. Alcohol by FAR is the worst drug on the planet. Socially acceptable or not, it's a fact. Anybody who claims steroids are some crazy dangerous drugs that are a character assassination on anyone who uses them is delusional and has no knowledge of steroids, and has no idea what they are talking about.

Edited July 2, 2012 by fucpcg

[BerryMe]

I appreciate the responses - all of them, even the somewhat accusatory ones. It's a sensitive issue for some people, and I apologize if I came off as ignorant or insensitive. There are a lot of arguments for the use of steroids, and if you want to use them that is your choice. I have friends who use them, it's just not what I'm looking for in a partner.

 

My boyfriend agreed not to do them, and we are still together. Alcohol is indeed very harmful, and if I started drinking regularly then yes, I would expect him to be concerned, even give me an ultimatum. He didn't sign up to be with an alcoholic and I didn't sign up to be with a juicer. It's ok to admit to yourself that you have limits, it's about self-respect. There is also a financial burden it carries, which you can compare to a lot of things and it really depends on your situation whether there is an argument for that. I didn't mean to cloud the issue by saying he didn't care. He did say that, after he tried explaining it to me. After listening to him and researching it a bit my opinion didn't change. It came down to a matter of, is this something he needs in his life, and if so, there was no point in me sticking around. I had fully prepared myself for the possibility that we simply had to head down different paths. I love him and I'm glad he chose not to do them.

 

We watched the film together and it doesn't seen to advocate the use of steroids. All of the men are deformed and crying about how they can't stop and they're afraid to loose their families. It scared the **** out of me. That said maybe I'm just not strong enough to deal with that, I choose not to.

[chuzzbug]

I think a lot of people here are confusing the specifics (steroids) with the fundamental issue, which is the way in which the communication around the issue happened.

 

Regardless whether its steroids, alcohol, video games or donuts, if we have an issue with our partner's behaviour, it behooves us to approach it calmly and respectfully. In return, we are owned clarity and maturity from our partner.

 

I can completely understand your fear of your partner choosing to take steroids, or any pharmaceutical substance. The variety of health effects are one component of the fear, but I also think that your partner's psychological state and reasons for taking them is another, and even more important.

 

Perhaps your partner has experienced low self-esteem about his physical appearance. Perhaps they are trying to impress someone. Just as women, men can be pretty messed up about their bodies. Someone who will always want to be bigger, buffer and stronger may take progressively destructive measures to achieve their goal, which they will never achieve because it's a moving goal post.

 

If your partner starts to use of steroids, like any other 'recreational' or 'enhancement' drug, they may enter into social circles that have a strong influence over his thoughts, values and priorities. I'm working hard not to generalize here, but I'm not particularly impressed with the attitude and thought quality, as gleaned from conversation, of the steroid-using subculture in a gym. I certainly would not want to be a woman on the receiving end of it.

 

I think you are right to require an explanation about your partner's mind state. If he cannot be frank about his goals and/or fears and insecurities, then there are other issues in your relationship, and this is just a symptom.

[GLDheart]

Is there any chance that there may be some underlying issue here?

 

It instantly struck me that this guy, after being together so long, is now suddenly all into his physical appearance. What is his sudden urge to juice up? Who is he trying to impress? You must be thinking wtf?!?

 

Could that be at all what is going on here?

[AlexDP]

First of all, don't believe anything you see on TV about steroids. I have used them myself for years when I was competing, I have read numerous books, cover to cover, repeatedly, explaining benefits and risks, and proper way to take steroids for function and safety. If you take in an educated manner, the risks and health hazzards are FAR LESS WORSE than things like drinking and smoking. Alcohol kills 75,000 a year in the USA, and regarding cigarettes:

 

More deaths are caused each year by tobacco use than by all deaths from human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), illegal drug use, alcohol use, motor vehicle injuries, suicides, and murders combined. (From CDC)

 

Steroids kill nobody each year. Yes there are some bodybuilder deaths each year, usually it's from poor diuretic use, or use of other drugs that affect body chemisty in drastic ways. They are not commonly used, most other than the pro's have no idea what these drugs even are or where to get, so don't worry there. I could write pages about steroids, but I think I've shared enough to address the safety issue, there is none.

 

I've had girlfriends that I've dated when doing drugs that knew. They knew because I didn't hide it. I tried to explain logically, I demonstrated that in my sport you must do them to be competitive, and they could clearly see that to me, the drugs were about the sport. I didn't run around in bodybuilding clothes, I didn't bar hop to pickup chicks into muscles, I didn't fly off in rage and throw the remote thru the front window, and I was always disciplined enough to run my own business. They could see the horror movies portrayed on TV were total BS.

 

Having said all that, the issue is that he would respond to you that he doesn't care that you being concerned about his usage. I can understand the desire to take them, depending on whether he truly competes, or just wants to look hotter at the beach. Too many unanswered unknowns here. I don't think that is a respectful way he is acting, and that isn't a man to go buy a house with. Lack of respect for your feelings isn't about the steroids, if he was respectful toward you, it would be with every, or any subject. That would be a concern, that is my concern.

 

If you can talk it out, great. If not, I'd be concerned. If you'd like to watch a FABULOUS documentary about steroid use, check out "Bigger, Faster, Stronger". It's as honest and real as it gets.

 

While that documentary states that the health risks of steriod usage are blown out of proportion in the media, it still says it is not the healthiest thing to do. I also don't really understand why you'd use steroids in sports as it really minimalises your own part aka training.

[fucpcg]

Do you drink Alex? Smoke? Eat poorly? Overweight? Drink soda? Pot?

 

Steroids minimalizes the training necessary? Really? What sports do you play and what steroids have you done that led you to this scientific conculsion?

[DBella]

I highly recommend for the OP to do her own research about steroid usage. You have to understand the reasons why he's using them, why you feel his usage could personally affect you and why you would want him to stop. Also if he already started to use them, understand that ppl don't start today and end it tomorrow like that. Think about it like this, you stopping your medication in 2 days after the doctor told you 8 days (as an example). Allow him to end his cycle and post-cycle if he already started. A lot of ppl give the wrong opinion and exaggerate sometimes because they don't know that much, so go ahead and educate yourself on this subject. Trust me, it is not as bad as many ppl think it is and no, I have never used them but I know a lot about them because I am always surrounded by athletes.