SBC Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 My guy is definitely worth it too, but he has not taken any actions in that direction. When we talk about it he says he is not ready yet, but he never said he'd be ready for sure. I asked him what needed to change first and how long did he see that taking. He told me he'd answer later and never did. I'd think if he were serious he'd be more on top of communicating these things with me. Not sure any of it matters now that I called it off. AND it has been three weeks and I havent heard a peep out of him he used to send me notes saying he missed me when we tried to break it off. Not so this time. I do know he would not say goodbye. And one of the last things I said to him (before our goodbye) was "why does he bother to talk to me at all?" his answer was that he felt closer to me than anyone. And when I said goodbye, I told him I loved him and that I didn't want to stop talking but I had to. And all he said was that I was the love of his life. We have not spoken a word since. I'm so empty without him. I do want to be with him, and I think that if I stayed he could go on like that forever. I'm hoping that with me gone it will make him take action. But I realize it's a good chance he will just go back to coping with an unhappy marriage and let go of me. Any thoughts SBC? I'd love to hear your take on all if this. I'm lost and heartbroken. I cant tell you what he is thinking or what he is going to do. No one knows what someone else will do. But I do know what you need to not be doing. You need to stop being "lost" and "heartbroken" Why would a MM leave one sad state of affairs to join you in your sad state of affairs? But, I know where you are. I remember being there..sad and lost wishing my MM would come save me. And then I found LoveShack. And I did LOTS of reading (almost a year's worth) before I ever posted. Here is a link to a thread by a woman named Old Europe that should be required reading here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/68968-ow-w-what-wins-what-loses-art-getting-grip And when you finish reading everything she says, search for a woman named GEL and read everything she wrote. You can figure this out on your own, you have to, because you are the only one who really knows what is going on in your life. And most importantly, have faith because in the end, everything will be OK --no matter how it works out with your MM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladydrib Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 If his words haven't matched his actions - then he's just the common liar. Thank you. I needed that. I have always been such a good read of people - and I know damn well that if words don't match actions then = liar. And I have always been suspicious that he was a liar. As I type this things start to make sense. I dismissed my intuition. Why?? I never do that! But the answer just came to me. Because I believed it 'seemed' like he was lying only because of being in an affair... things would seem off... so I dismissed it. Liar. That simple. Now I just need to reprogram my brain into seeing that he is not this wonderful person. That person does not exist. I was in love with a mirage. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Thank you. I needed that. I have always been such a good read of people - and I know damn well that if words don't match actions then = liar. And I have always been suspicious that he was a liar. As I type this things start to make sense. I dismissed my intuition. Why?? I never do that! But the answer just came to me. Because I believed it 'seemed' like he was lying only because of being in an affair... things would seem off... so I dismissed it. Liar. That simple. Now I just need to reprogram my brain into seeing that he is not this wonderful person. That person does not exist. I was in love with a mirage. Take an important vow to never - EVER - dismiss your intuition again. That is betraying self. Be well - find someone who will appreciate you - someone completely single. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
flightysue Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 He's always going to have an excuse not to leave the family home, this time its aldult children he supports, next it'll be that he can't leave the dog! Move on and find someone who is unattached and Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ladydrib Posted July 20, 2012 Author Share Posted July 20, 2012 Wow. He decided and is taking action. I am in shock. Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 What action is he taking? Are you back in the affair with him? Most importantly why is he ending the marriage? Did he come to this decision based on the actual breakdown of the marriage or did he make this decision under the duress of losing his affair partner? How much progress has he made? Does his wife know? Has he moved out? Okay sorry for all the questions, just curious what you mean by taking action. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Wow. He decided and is taking action. I am in shock. It means nothing until his D is FINAL! Do not participate until he shows the evidence that he's divorced... As in past tense. Anything less could be a ploy. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 So when is this taking place? Now or a week or two? Link to post Share on other sites
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