After a so-so date with online girl?

[MarcoInaros]

I spoke with a girl online for a few weeks early this month. She was nice and really pretty. We met for dinner, and it went all right I think. I didn't make any major faux pas, but I did make a few mistakes. I realized later that the date went too long and I should have ended it earlier - she was giving signs of wanting to go home for the evening. Also I feel as if I spoke too much and I didn't inquire enough into her life or interests/activities. I was probably on an adrenaline high during the whole thing because I haven't dated that much and was a little nervous, so I made those mistakes. Also I couldn't tell if she liked me or not because it was mostly just conversation, and not really any flirting or innuendo. We hugged then parted ways.

 

It's been over a week now and I haven't heard from her, and I have been conflicted as to whether I should call her or e-mail her again. I am not even sure what to say.

 

And to be honest I think I am rationalizing not contacting her because of my own insecurities. I feel as if even though I have a good job, my life isn't compelling enough for a partner yet, and I need to have more interests and a broader social circle. But I am 32 now, so if it isn't yet then when will it be.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

She has probably since had time to comment on 5 or 75 threads on various boards each about men who never call.

[gskyo]

I think it is more culturally acceptable for the guy to call a girl than for a girl to call a guy after a date. I know... in this day and age, you'd expect this to no longer hold true. So, if you want to know if she is still interested, call her.

[spiderowl]

I think you may have left it too long to call her now. If I went out with a guy and didn't hear from him for a week, I'd have come to the conclusion he wasn't interested and written him off.

 

It's hard to tell from what you said whether she would have wanted another date or not. I think you can only tell by contacting her and asking. It can't be easy, I know. I think if I went out with a guy and liked him and got the impression he liked me, I might text him to say thanks and that I enjoyed the evening. That would be a hint that I'd like to be contacted again. If I wasn't sure if he liked me or not, I'd wait to see if he contacted me. If I didn't enjoy the date and didn't want another, I'd not do anything and if he contacted me again, I'd probably say it wasn't a good idea.

[MarcoInaros]

I think you may have left it too long to call her now. If I went out with a guy and didn't hear from him for a week, I'd have come to the conclusion he wasn't interested and written him off.

 

It's hard to tell from what you said whether she would have wanted another date or not. I think you can only tell by contacting her and asking. It can't be easy, I know. I think if I went out with a guy and liked him and got the impression he liked me, I might text him to say thanks and that I enjoyed the evening. That would be a hint that I'd like to be contacted again. If I wasn't sure if he liked me or not, I'd wait to see if he contacted me. If I didn't enjoy the date and didn't want another, I'd not do anything and if he contacted me again, I'd probably say it wasn't a good idea.

 

What if I just e-mailed her? We met on OkCupid. I would feel strange calling her out of the blue at this point.

[spiderowl]

If you want to see her again, it's best to phone her. Why didn't you phone her earlier? You could give her that as a reason why - it would be honest. Tell her what you enjoyed about spending time with her. See if she seems receptive and friendly and then take it from there.