ridinbikes247 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I left my wife back in Feb. after being with her for 7 years. She became very distant and rude. She said she didnt love me anymore and could careless if I stayed or left. I left. I am 27 and never been much on drinking. I didnt drink for the first 2 months until I found out about her affair she was having with my friend. He moved in only after 2 months of leaving her, and they're "in love" already. I started partying on the days I didnt have my little boy. Drinking occasional, 3-4 nights a week. Here latley she is puttng our boy last and its tearing me up and I have no idea what to do. Our boy is 4.5, and he hates going home. He tells me mommy locks him in his room. He tells me she want do NOTHING with him. She use to read him books, play games, take him to the park. etc. She makes him stay in his room all day. He isnt allowed to even say "daddy" without getting a spanking. Now she is to the point of giving me our son because she says he is becoming between her and her new b/f.... I am very proud but i cant believe she is doing this. My son ask me questions on why mommy want let him call me on the phone, and why mommy has a new boy who lives with her. I am now drinking everyday pretty heavily. I need and want to stop but I can find the power Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I just want to wish you all the best. I don't know anything about drinking. I know they are some resident members who a familiar with this topic.. eithe ArtC or CarH...either way I hope someone can shed some light on your situation... all the best!! Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 It seems pretty obvious you're trying to mask the pain by drinking. Sounds like your son has a pretty sh*ty mother, all the more reason to get your self together and be a great dad. Yeah, I'm sure it hurts to know you exwife was cheating, with a so called friend. But there are a few things you may be failing to remember. Just as you did, this guy and any other will eventually get sick of her shyt too. She sounds really selfish and a emotionally bankrupt. Be grateful you were smart and walked at 27 and not letting another 5 or ten years pass you by. You're responsible for your own happiness, and you'll never find it if you continue on the path to alcoholism. One of the best things you could do, in my opinion is get involved in some sort of activity/interest to get yourself out of the house at night that doesn't revolve around drinking. Keep yourself very busy. Or you could let the pain become comforting, and wear it for the rest of your life. So your ex wife knocked you down, its up to you to pick yourself back up. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Well, first, resolve to not drink when your son is with you. That's being a responsible father. Second, abstain, perhaps temporarily, from friendships with 'drinking buddies'. Third, if you can't resolve not to drink when your son is with you, seek help from AA. Normally, I would mention AA first but I like self-help for situational drinking issues. My bet is, once the situation resolves, your self-medication will end, presuming you do not have a history of alcoholism, and it sounds like you don't. I had a bout of this during our D, the unhealthiest part being drinking alone, and found it to resolve as I better processed the events and focused more on my friends and positive things. I don't have a substance abuse history so the drinking ended uneventfully. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Dude, drinking can very quickly take over a life by erasing perspective and making nostalgia and gushing emotionalism seem very satisfying. It is harder to stop for yourself and try to reason or outfox the compulsion have a son and you have to take that as serious as a heart attack. You should keep challenging yourself to answer what it means to be a dad and who this little fella is and what your sobriety and leadership can mean to him. Yes, drinking can be comforting to you in dealing with the hurt of being trivialized by your else g/f, but you owe that child, that little boy your best regardless of what she does or doesn't do. Pull yourself together and do the right thing to be a dad he is not embarrassed of and who he is proud of. If you need more reinforcement, reach out in every direction including cameoing back here to Love Shack and sharing your struggle. Pull yourself \together and be a man--and if that requires help, I pledge mine albeit it small. Never give up. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Getting a spanking for mentioning Daddy is utter abuse. Locking the boy in the room all day is utter abuse. You need to get yourself together and speak to a lawyer. Don't let your child be in a abusive situation. She is a terrible, terrible mom. If you can't stop drinking, send the boy to live with a family member on your side of the family. STart therapy and find a safer way to deal with your pain. Sorry this happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ridinbikes247 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Ive spoke with 3 lawyers. All of them want 3,000+ dollars to start a case. Our son is only 4.5 years old. The court/judge will not listen to a child who is not at least 11 years old. I am screwed no matter what I do. I have my son 75% of the time. I love it. the only reason I drink is because the memories my wife and I made and the lies I believed. I just bought a House in November and talked about a 2nd kid. The minute I bought that house, things went down hill.. She used me for that house so she could be living life Here my wife is, 27 years old, very attractive, good job, new house and now a new b/f plus recieving $400 a month for me in child support. I keep our kid 75% of the time so she can party/be with her new b/f.....Its crazy watching her change. She used to love our son and want a 2nd kid....Now she could careless about anyone about her self and its hard to take in...she is living life and it sucks. I got used and abused...i just hope she regrets it, here soon or in the next 10 years..I just dont see her regretting anything. her mom has 4 kids through 3 different dads....divorced and dont care for none of her kids.... I dont see how people live like that Link to post Share on other sites
Author ridinbikes247 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 take people like her mom for instance....4 children in ages 31, 27, 16, and 13 She is divorced and leaves her toungest children with there dad's.......she really seems happy on the outside, but do you think shes really happy ?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
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