ideallover Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Hi, I am new here and I'm glad to have found this forum so I can find some peace while dealing with a recent breakup. I had a long distance relationship with a guy. after some months of LDR, he went to my place and met my family. It was all good. After he went back to his country, he said he loved what we had and it was perfect, and that he wanted it to work. As far as I can remember, I tried everything to keep the relationship alive. He even said that I was the best gf. But then, he started getting busy, and I just continued to encourage him. I wanted him to reach his goals and dreams in life. I was giving all the support he needs even though i am far away. But i guess that is not enough for him. I don't know what he wants still. He broke up with me just like that. Because he was busy with his life and wants to accomplish his goals - without me? Even though I was willing to wait and stand by his side while he reaches them, he didn't want me to. Why? Is he that selfish? After he broke up with me, he asked if we can still be friends because he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. But I can't. I only get hurt.. I would still wait for him even though I shouldn't anymore because I'm not his gf anymore. So I said I'm sorry and I can't. He said it's cool, and I should take my time. Take my time??! It's been more than two weeks of not talking to him but I still miss him. I try to keep myself busy but there are times when I really miss him. Does he even miss me now? I want to move on...without feeling bitter on anyone. He's obviously a jerk, but I need more than that to move on. My question is...(for guys) Is a gf really worth dumping just so you can become successful in life? Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 You were never really in a relationship. LDR's are just you locked in a room alone pretending there is someone on the other side of the door who wants you so you don't actually have to go out to find someone who really does want you and that you can be with in reality rather than in a deluded fantasy. You are still too wrapped up in the dream to re-enter real society where people have been laughing and loving without you. You don't want a relationship. You are content with an unrequited obsession. Link to post Share on other sites
neiljohnson85 Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 As per my suggestion You need to maintain No Contact to heal from the hurt, and accept that his feelings changed, and you will not get what you want from him. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 If he prioritises his career over you then, yes, for him it's worth breaking up. I think that you did the right thing by not agreeing to be friends and in keeping yourself busy. Agree with neil that you need to maintain NC. You're hurting right now and the shock is generating all these questions in your mind. You're not going to get all of them answered. You just need to ride the emotional rollercoaster until it stops. At the end of it, none of it will matter anymore because you're not emotionally invested in the answers. Time will make things better and one day you will wake up with a clear head. Link to post Share on other sites
ludic Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 After he went to see you and your family, when he said it was perfect he must have meant it... as it was the way he felt at that moment, so I dont think that was a lie or anything. The problem is that when you spend time apart people start drifting for many reasons. The other problem in my opinion is that as soon as you start over analysing things and trying to make everything perfect it naturaly pushes people away... I know, it doesnt make sense, but this is the stupidity of human nature. When he broke up, it's probably for many different reasons... again in my opinion its probably not because of another girl or something weird like that, but because of something else thats getting on his nerves... us men are weird things, even i've stupidly done it in the past. I agree with the others, its hard but stay away... It gets better, I know, I had to go through it twice in the last year after I did the same as you (treat them good and that repels them (WHY!!!)) So to answer your question, NO its not. But he probably didnt dump you because of that, he is not telling the truth, because the truth will hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
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