Watching 2 Much Porn?

[GuyDeLaBoca]

Hi my question is fairly simple. My girlfriend of 1 year thinks I watch to much porn. She finds them offensive. Im one of those guys who likes to have sex daily. Though Im lucky if I get it twice a week, and when I do I have to initiate it. I don't like using sex against her, but I watch porn when she wont give me sex. I've tried being romantic. You know Candlight dinner, soft music, massage, Cream Bath. I feel I shouldn't always have to put that much effort to make love to her. When we first got together we had sex twice a day!! What should I do? How can we both be happy?

[Tony T]

Have you told her the porn is a substitute for sex when she is not in the mood?

 

Her lack of interest in sex more often now may possibly be due to her being repulsed by your interest in porn. It may be a vicious circle. Get to the bottom of it.

 

Talk to her and discover the core issues here. If in fact she is simply not interested in having sex more than twice a week, the negotiate your porn substitute with her for off nights. This is certainly a much better alternative than affairs or prostitutes.

 

Since you are not yet married, you have to make a decision on this incompatibility and whether or not it is something you can live with over a long period. And if she was so interested in having sex often at the beginning of the relationship, how else has she changed? Or how have you changed?

 

You mentioned all the romantic things you create for her. Maybe you are doing a bit too much.

 

Isn't love just wonderful?

[Deejette]

It sounds like you just want to get it off and don't care that much about the romantic atmosphere surrounding sex. But many women require the candlelight and stuff to feel special and not feel like just another animal making it. They like to feel connected and emotional about the person they are doing it with. You may have to make that extra effort to make your girlfriend happy, or you might have to go off and search for that unusual girl who just wants sex without the trimmings and break it off with your girl.

 

When there is a big difference in sexual appetites, problems can spring up down the road, in the form of affairs and other outlets like porn. Talking about it will help, but talking too much can destroy sexuality with analysis. Lots of cuddling and affection as a prelude to sex is a good answer, but it sounds like you aren't too interested in that.

 

Sometimes guys will have their set ways of doing it and they don't vary their pattern too much. This can kill the passion for a woman, who feels it is too mechanical. So my suggestion to you is to try to understand the different ways a woman approaches sex and see if you can at least meet her half-way with her desires too.

Have you told her the porn is a substitute for sex when she is not in the mood? Her lack of interest in sex more often now may possibly be due to her being repulsed by your interest in porn. It may be a vicious circle. Get to the bottom of it. Talk to her and discover the core issues here. If in fact she is simply not interested in having sex more than twice a week, the negotiate your porn substitute with her for off nights. This is certainly a much better alternative than affairs or prostitutes. Since you are not yet married, you have to make a decision on this incompatibility and whether or not it is something you can live with over a long period. And if she was so interested in having sex often at the beginning of the relationship, how else has she changed? Or how have you changed?

 

You mentioned all the romantic things you create for her. Maybe you are doing a bit too much. Isn't love just wonderful?

[Rogue]

That sort of thing can turn off a lot of women. Just get rid of it and see what happens.