Ecthelion Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Well this is my first post on this forum, i've read many articles on here and seen some great advice-and i feel i just need to write this all down. So where do we begin..... I'd been with my partner for two years when she broke up with me in early jan 2012. We had both left Uni and decided to stay together until we could be in a situation where we could live together (we lived about 3 hrs away, was never an issue saw each other everyweek) but this failed as we broke up. The reasoning behind this January break-up was that she needed to be alone as she had lots of things to deal with, she felt like she couldn't be with me in the capacity i deserved. So i tried to move on, got a job and tried to better myself... i work on oil rigs and am away for two weeks at a time, not a problem being single......fast forward to April this year i get desperate emails and texts whilst im at work begging me to contact her (after NC since jan) so being naive or just plain daft i got back in touch with her-we saw each other a couple of times and it was like old times we were great. However i did this in the knowledge that we wouldnt be a couple as she is leaving for australia to travel and work for however long im not sure. However we agreed we were desperately in love still and that we would wait till we could get back together properly in the future. Now here is the crux. She saw someone briefly while we were apart but i dont really know the details of it other than that he made more of it than her saying that she was her GF she told him she was still in love with me. She described it to me as a mistake. So right swallowed it moved on... trust is damaged though and i cant help thinking about it... am i going insane in the membrane? on the flip side its not really my business though what happened we were apart In the meantime we've been on hols. but now t'other day we said goodbye... or as we said "see you soon" for the near future. with the plan that i will go for three weeks in october and november with view to moving there in new year(there being australia). My job and career choice make it a quite possible scenario that i can get work in australia. So here are my main points and what is bugging me atm. Am i a doormat? she can just stomp on me but i always be there? We are together but we aren't at the same time-we are waiting to be together but with no guarantee's so what do i have to hold on to? my trust is damaged This is second time in my life LDR is happening to me first time failed massively more due to my own flaws, i recognize them and wont do it again Will she contact me often enough to keep this going? since we arent technically bg/gf. will we drift apart? i feel like she should be the one to take a lead with this..... i dont want to seem demanding from a distance She is going travelling with her best "male friend" i feel like my usefulness will diminish with his presence (no sexual contact between the two) We havent really spoken about it much as she keeps saying im guilt tripping her, dont think she realises that her actions have consequences to other people on the plus side, im getting a flat with a friend and moving from my parents, will be an opportunity to meet new people and maybe who knows ? so as you can see from my erratic post my mind is all over the place. I mean should i expect anything from this. she came back once so maybe we are made for each other? however being a pessimistic person im waiting for it to fall apart, which im ready for. However i would never stop her doing what she wants in life as its not my place. So im thinking play it cool give her space and time to enjoy herself, dont be crazy or daft and overbearing from a distance-just let her contact me. Kind of move on with my life personally but still have a hope that we can do it? right okay thats enough, over to you beautiful people........... Link to post Share on other sites
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