losing my dog. How to deal...

[Samantha16]

I've had my dog since I was 4 years old. I am now 20 years old and this week we are putting my dog down. I have never experienced a death of someone close to me, and I know some would say it's just a dog, but I really feel as though I'm losing a family member.

 

He's very old, and he has a lot wrong with him. He has diabeties, he's blind, he's deaf, he has a deseased pancreas, and basically he's just existing right now. He's still alive, but he has no life left in him. So we agreed it's time to let him go.

 

But this is probably the hardest thing im going to have to face. It's going to be so sad with him not there every day. I'm not sure whether I want to go with my father to the place to put him down. I don't know if I can handle it, yet I don't know how to say goodbye to my dog. I asked him if we were going to bury him in the yard, and my father said maybe we could cremate him and spread his ashes, but the thought of burning his body made me cry even more. I just wish he could live forever and always be by my side like he's been my whole life so far.

 

Has anyone lost a pet? How did you deal with it? I'm so sad right now.

[Midnight Magic]

Losing a pet is very devastating. Yes your dog is part of your family, in fact they are better than most of my family members.

Many people don't realize it but to me they are part of my family.

I can understand your pain.

As I went through the death of a pet too.

 

About a year ago our dog was sitting on the deck and a cat ran by and she broke off her collar and ran after the cat and got hit by a speeding vehicle. Putting her down was the hardest thing that I have had to do, and I still blame myself because I walked past her several times and each time I was going to take her in the house and I never did. The vet had told me that it would have cost $ 2500.00 to fix her and I agreed to pay it until he said that her life would not be the same, she would be in constant pain for the rest of her life, and even tho I wanted her back I could not and would not subject her to a life of pain. I know in my heart I did the right thing, but it does not make it any easier.

 

I would highly recommend you be there and hold his paw, to comfort him and yourself. This is the grieving process. You need to be there for the dog like it was there for you. I know it is hard but it is part of the grieving process, you have to say goodbye.

Your dog will be part of your life forever, in both your mind and your heart.

If you have pictures, you have a constant reminder of your dog.

 

Even though your dog was in ill health, he is in a better place. I know it is hard to understand this, but he is in a place where there is no pain.

 

In time, you will want another dog, and you will be happy with your new puppy.

You will have someone that loves you unconditional, and will always be happy to be around you.

No matter what you wear or what you do, any mistakes that you make, your dog is there to love you no matter what.

 

I am 36 years old and I have had a dog since I was 10. I have gone thru the deaths of three dogs. And the pain was never easy, but as time goes on, the pain will fade away. And remember to keep a place in your heart for your dog, and when you feel sad thinking about your dog, you can go back to all the memories and fun times that you had with your dog. No one can ever take these away from you. They are special for you to remember.

 

You may or may not want to get another pet. But if you don't you are missing out on a great opportunity for a pet to be a part of your life. I could not imagine ever being without my dog. I know she brings out very much love and feelings from me. When I have a bad day at work, I know that I can walk in the door and there is my dog yelping and wagging her tail, she loves me, and I love her.

 

My love of animals has given me the nickname of "DOG WOMAN" by my parents, and I love it.

In writting this I am thinking about Rover, Kato, and Kaos, may you all rest in peace.

They have been replaced by Samantha a 6 year old shepherd husky.

 

And go with your father and be with the dog, even tho it will be hard for you, and if you decide to cremate your dog you will feel better when your dog is with you in your yard. This is how I feel about each of my pets. I know where the ashes are and sometimes I go to the places where is dog is and I still feel the love from each of my pets. They will never be forgotten. They are in my heart and they will remain there in my special place for them.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I am feeling your pain, so you are not alone.

[digger]

Somebody always has it worse. I got divorce papers March 1 outa no where and put my dog down March 8.I came to the house to get him--my wife wasnt there--i called her and asked her to come be with me--she said shed see what she could do and headed home(30 miles) 5 minutes later. I knew she wasnt coming for "digger" but for me. At least I thot. Five minutes after we handed the dog over, she starts to tell me everything in the world thats wrong with me. And to think i had my 'best freind' put to sleep!!

[HokeyReligions]

The grief we feel when we lose a pet is the same grief and process we feel when we lose a beloved person. I have lost many. I have held them in my arms as my tears fell onto their heads and I said good-bye. I am so sorry. Do not be afraid to grieve and if anyone says to you "it was just a dog" simply say "not to me" and walk away. Some people will never understand, others understand all too well. Here are links to a grief support site and a couple of poems too.

 

I don't remember now if you said you were a Christian, but if you are - don't be afraid to talk with your clergy, or seek solace in the Bible. My husband and mother do that for their grief and it helps them.

 

I have several shadow boxes in my dining room. In each is a poem that I found that helped me, and a letter I wrote to my dogs. Also included are their collars and favorite squeaky toys or a rawhide bone, and photographs inside their own frames. I basically made a scrapbook with a piece of fabric from their favorite bed or blanket, and little things that were special about them. One loved pizza and I found a refridgerator magnet like a pizza and the other adored ice cream and I have an ice-cream magnet in that one. I have their ashes in a cabinet in the living room, with more pictures of them around the containers. I have my children there also and when I go, my ashes will be joined with all of theirs and scattered together.

 

A letter or poem, or some other kind of memorial or tribute may help you to cope. There is a candle ceremony that you can also take part in --- it's in one of the links that I gave you.

 

 

A Dog's Prayer

Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.

 

Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.

 

Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.

 

When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.

 

Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.

 

And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

 

--Beth Norman Harris

 

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http://www.petloss.com/

http://www.rainbowbridge.org/

 

http://p079.ezboard.com/bpetloss

 

I AM NOT THERE

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die.

 

http://www.petloss.com/poems/poems.htm

 

 

Just this side of Heaven, is a place called Rainbow Bridge...

 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.

 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

 

THEN YOU CROSS RAINBOW BRIDGE TOGETHER...

[msrealdoll]

Samantha, I am so sorry you're going through this right now. I know how painful it is.

 

I have had my 2 cats for over 15 years. I am disabled, and spend all my time at home with them. I know that I don't have a lot of time left with them. I have been terribly worried lately what I will do when they pass. I'm too emotionally dependent on them, if that makes any sense.

 

Some people say that it's not as difficult to lose a pet as it is a human family member. I certainly hope not. But I wonder sometimes if that is because we're conditioned to believe they aren't as important as humans.

 

Spend as much time with him as you can. Take comfort in the fact that you are able to end his suffering in a humane way. I would suggest that you go with your dad to the vet, and do bring your beloved pet home to be buried.

 

My heart goes out to you.