Alban Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 So here I am new in this forum and like the title say's I really need some help I will be in august 20 and she is 16 I have been with this girl now for 3 and a half years together.. Firstly I just got her for granted she loved me mad and I didn't care much that took a YEAR for me to fall in love ,that happened when I saw her in her eyes for the first time I never ever was the same person after that, she amazed me, she changed me. I falled in love with her that second, and she telled me she wished that moment would be eternal. It was all great till 2 months ago..just as it seemed everything was fine and perfekt, well some arguments here and there sure, she said it all was just too fast (My family know about her, first sex with me, I gave her a love ring with a certain date) everything I dreamed, I cared, I loved, I lost everything in a second. I cried like a baby and I know she didn't leave me becoz of that. Since then she is cold to me, she doesn't care for me, she left me behind but we talk everyday :S. Yesterday she admited it, and said to me she would come back to me anyway.. I don't know her she is all of a sudden a different person and talked about it she responded with her eyes crying: I don't know what I want. I asked her do you love me anymore , she responds with No, it's more like a cigarette, than cries even more and she saw me how that touched me, after that she said I need you so much, I need your kisses, I need all of you, I missed you so much and said to me this year was the longest in her life. She said she loves me and she just needs to see me and everything will be just how it was. I don't know what to do I love her more than anything in my life and I know it's wrong but she is more important than even myself. Please give me some advice how to make this relationship work, you would save my life :S. P.S : I am really nice to her, buy her presents writing love letters , videos etc and I think it could be one of the reasons of this. We meet once a year ,5 weeks. Europe sucks in these things. No freedom.. but after this time when she comes I promise I will go to her whatever it takes. She comes next week on monday I will see her finally, I have been waiting and dreaming for this everyday since she left me.. don't let me down someone give me a hand I would be greatfull for the eternity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 Someone please say something ? Link to post Share on other sites
Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Wow, sounds dramatic. Where in Europe are you guys from? Sometimes girls can be fickle, especially when they are getting an overload of attention. It can be the same if a girl spews out attention to a guy. Perhaps I would back down a bit and slow down the gift giving, etc and see what happens. Sometimes when we take things for granted and then see that we might lose those things, we can better understand the value of them (so in her case, if you pull back, it might be a wake up call for her). Sorry if the reply is generic. It's hard to respond to your post because it's very emotional and a bit unclear. Good luck though! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 I am from kosovo, she lives in switzerland. Thanks for your reply. Last night we talked and it was great! we had fun we laughed and spoke about the times we were together, the dumb things we did together etc.. She said to me that she thinks of me very much but when it comes to talkin to me something just happens that make her cold, she wasn't like this before and I told her that she is starting to change and told her that I will never forget her.. then she responds with why are you saying things like that you have to help me and believe in us etc. Sometimes this happens, words have so much power, she is the only one who can do this to me this emotional roller couster , one moment I am the most depressed men in the world, the second after the happiest because of her. I really would appreciate some opinions Why is she sometimes the old her? The one who cares and loves me ? And sometimes this cold girl that she really isn't ? Link to post Share on other sites
Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 I can't speak on behalf of her. Do you know her past well enough? Do you know how she interacts with her family? Have you met her family? How is her relationship with her father? She is young, and it's best that you start developing your emotional intelligence skills at your age as it will get more and more difficult if you don't start now. Also, which language in Switzerland does she speak? Does she speak Albanian? Language barriers can be a problem as some emotions cannot be translated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 She is an albanian like me , we both speak german, english ,albanian since I lived 8 years in Germany. She loves her father, and her family too, but they don't know a thing about us coz our culture is a bit oldfashioned she is afraid to tell them that's why she said we should wait till she's 18 and that's what we were planning even if I pressured her to tell her family very much but I gave up and respected her decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Celtica Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Well, to me it just sounds like you are in a temporary bump in the road and soon things will soon get better if you keep at it. Keep up the emotionally intelligent conversations and you will figure things out. It might be that you should visit her more frequently during this time, too. But use your own good judgment and you'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 thanks for your response, it gave me a morale boost Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 For everyone who know GIGS could it be the case of my GF ? If anyone can respond to me please tell me how can I prevent it from happening if it is the case Link to post Share on other sites
Celtica Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 You're welcome! What is GIGS? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 You're welcome! What is GIGS? the green is greener syndrome you can see it here read about it and you should understand some things better.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 For everyone who know GIGS could it be the case of my GF ? If that's the case why would she be coming to see you in a week? Quit driving yourself nuts trying to put a label on it and her. She's 16 years old. Her hormones and emotions are all over the place. She's already told you that you're not helping by being needy and doubting the the two of you will make it in the long run. Instead of over-analyzing and jumping to conclusions about every little thing, why are you concentrating on planning what the two of you will do while she's visiting so that you both will have even more good memories to look back and build upon in the future? Best, TMichaels 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 Thank you very much TMichaels you are probably right you gave me a big light in my heart Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alban Posted July 16, 2012 Author Share Posted July 16, 2012 So, I am back here to ask all girls around a simple question so I make it a quick. She loves me, cares for me, calls me every 2 hours but she doesn't want sex ? We have a great relationship with very good conversation and a lot of laugh, we are crazy about each other and she wanted it till 2 days ago when it came to the situation of having sex, that's where she freaked out ! I don't understand why ? 1 day ago she said to me do it hard to me and all the other nasty things and then she just freaked out ? Can someone give me an answer for this please ? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts