66 Reasons I Won't Miss You

[BigBear]

Things I won’t miss about M:

Read this anytime you are feeling like you’ve had a great loss. Remember all the irritating things she could be…

1. Incessant hand-washing. “Wash your hands! Wash your hands! We’re all going to die if you don’t wash your hands RIGHT NOW! You’ve been touching

surfaces

!!!”

 

2. Being felt like I’

m

a burden only because I want to talk with my wife.

 

3. Feeling inferior because I don’t think in her stupid way.

 

4. Her 8:30 bedtime. Seriously, who needs 11 hours of sleep?

 

5. Having to be quiet all night or fear waking up the queen.

 

6. Getting chastised the next morning because I walked up the stairs too loudly.

 

7. Being forced to only work on plans her way.

 

8. Get a job! Get a job! There are other ways honey. Self-employment is legitimate work.

 

9. Hearing about how I have limited her

so

much and how she can’t start a business because we can’t both do it at the same time. (Yet I shouldn't have my own business?)

 

10. Hearing about her “mother’s instinct”, and her using that as justification that whatever she wants is right.

 

11. The world’s WORST blow jobs. Seriously. Shallow mouth, completely unenthusiastic, no idea at all what a man wants, and it’s over in 30 seconds, with the attitude that she’s given you a great gift. Never had worse. Had to actually consider this before marrying her… am I prepared to go through the rest of my life and never have a good blow again??

 

12. Having to give her about 50 backrubs to get any sort of affection from her.

 

13. Her preferring to go to bed with her iPad instead of me.

 

14. Her permanent bad back and having to have sex in the same boring position about 95% of the time.

 

15. Her mother and Fred.

 

16. Her incredible tension and nervousness.

 

17. Her scattershot way of leaping before looking and changing everything in an instant – and then claiming this is “efficiency”.

 

18. It’s a new day, it must be a new plan. And you’ve just got to follow along.

 

19. Her bitching about how slow I move.

 

20. The way any time I get sick I am made to feel I am a bad person, I brought it on myself, I should feel guilty for it.

 

21. Her self-loathing and how that translated into her dislike or distaste for most of the population.

 

22. Watching her get fat and then hearing her blame me for it.

 

23. Her food sensitivities to just about everything.

 

24. Her complete inability to read a map or have any idea where she ever is. Half a mile from home and she has to use the GPS.

 

25. Her saying she is “this close to snapping” or she’s “at her limit” or “can’t handle much more” at any given moment, any time you try to get her to do anything at all. It’s her default position on everything she doesn’t want to face. She can order you around. You can’t say anything.

 

26. Hearing her say for the thousandth time how she’s “held this marriage together for 6 years and she can’t do it anymore”, as if every moment of it was hell, and required her to hold on for dear life.

 

27. Her complaining that I call all the shots. Considering I can barely identify anything at all that I want in life except for family and a good home, how she can ever claim I am controlling is unbelievable. I gave her carte blanche always to do whatever, wherever, and I would watch Xxxxxxxx while she did it.

 

28. Her calling me begging me to come home, on the 3 nights a year I actually get to leave the house, because she just can’t handle watching Xxxxxxxx anymore and she needs rest desperately.

 

29. Her constant exhaustion. For **** sakes, you have chronic fatigue syndrome, just admit it!

 

30. The way everything is my fault. She takes no accountability for ANYTHING. Whether she feels superior because she is the greater wage earner or she really just has that much ego, I don’t know.

 

31. Her thought that she really belongs at this level in her business. She is a joke. Token female V.P. but she’s afraid of that thought I think.

 

32. Having to give her a ****ing backrub almost every night and then getting nothing for it 90% of the time.

 

33. How she’s read every book ever promoted on Oprah or Dr. Oz and then changed her life to fit whatever it is they promote. And then the next week adopt something completely different.

 

34. Her mindset that she is in constant need of repair, recovery, replenishment, whatever. She is always “recovering” from some horrible trauma, everything “saps her energy” and “drains her”.

 

35. How she can claim she is “dehydrated” from doing nothing at all on a day when it’s 10 degrees outside.

 

36. Having to beg for sex.

 

37. Not being allowed to touch her pussy, or anywhere, because my fingers are “sharp”.

 

38. Not being able to do anything creative sexually.

 

39. Being

so

bloody serious about everything in life.

 

40. Being a complete killjoy.

 

41. Her inability to just let it go and have some ****ing fun and not be worried that everything is dangerous, will kill us or make us sick, etc.

 

42. Her dirty ass. Seriously, go high up the crack with your hand and it comes out with **** on it. I don’t think she ever washes up there and it stinks. Surprising for a clean freak.

 

43. How she wore scarves for 9 months of the year to cover up her fat neck, until I pointed out that that was what she was doing…and then suddenly scarves were out of fashion. Hahaha.

 

44. Those giant fat arms. Even when she lost weight everywhere else she never lost the wrestler’s arms.

 

45. Not being able to go out at night. Like, ever. Maybe on Mondays in football season. But if I did then I surely heard about it the next day, like I had been granted such a great ****ing gift and now I have to earn it.

 

46. How someone can go that high up in a company yet can’t do basic math, write proper English, or have any idea how to get anywhere is beyond me.

 

47. How she could work 3 days a week and spend the other 2 days in massage or working out or getting treatments or any other bloody personal **** she could sneak in on company time. And then hearing how she never ever stops working. What a joke. But good on her for fooling them all… for now.

 

48. Her spending thousands on new age treatments and pills and creams and **** that made her look and feel worse.

49. Her spending thousands on nutritional studies and then ignoring all the advice she was given.

 

50. Her avoidance of any complaint I bring up. She’ll always find a way to have to check her phone, or answer Xxxxxxxx’s question, or boy there’s something else really important and I have to look away.

 

51. Not being allowed to even look at my phone when she is around, but having her constantly doing just that with her phone and computer. Because her job is, you know, critical, 24 hrs/day.

 

52. Her way of negotiating one thing and then when you agree to it she changes it to something else and tries to claw more ground out of you.

 

53. This idea that I am somehow a financial burden on her, even though I have always paid for half of everything despite bringing in less than she does.

 

54. Her sloppiness. You would never guess it but now that we’ve lived apart awhile I can see she made most of the mess.

 

55. Her ability to use 7 coffee cups in one day. And how she was incapable of ever bringing them back down from upstairs.

 

56. Her unbending stubbornness.

 

57. Her complete lack of empathy.

 

58. Her beliefs in whatever the latest woo-woo horse**** media idea is.

 

59. Not being able to have an honest conversation because she takes everything as criticism, and criticism of her is never, ever allowed.

 

60. Her complete refusal to consider any sort of counseling, because doing

so

may reveal to her that she is not perfect.

 

61. The way she dislikes just about everyone, and actually revels in the fact that most people are unaware of her dislike of them.

 

62. How she will remember things I did 7 years ago when it’s convenient, but then will insist we “live in the present” when something in the present offends her.

 

63. Her complete disregard for me or what I wanted when she left this relationship. You spend 7 years with someone and then one day just say “I don’t give a **** about you, I’

m

just in it for me”.

 

64. Her complete lack of understanding of the value of money.

65. SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH.

66. No fun.

 

[Art_Critic]

You couldn't have added 3 more to make it 69 reasons...

 

Great list...

Get it all out...

[Inky-Dinky]

It's good to get it out. But remember, anyone over 13 can join LS. So kids are reading what you wrote.

[florence of suburbia]

It's good to get it out. But remember, anyone over 13 can join LS. So kids are reading what you wrote.

 

Do you think he needs to have a warning statement at the top of the list?

[Gulf-Delta]

I wish I could come up with this many negatives for my ex....would make getting over her much easier.

[CopingGal]

I could come up with over 100 for mine. But I've made lists before here, although I kept it shorter than 100.

 

As far as her backside area goes...washing that area...a VERY important thing to do. Ya gotta do the diggin' before your partner starts wiggin'.

[rAFC]

To number 42, yeah, that would have been an instant deal breaker for me...

 

And number 11, even though it might be inappropriate for a "family friendly" board, and I'll probably catch some flack for this one from the ladies here (sorry ladies, haha!...[okay... I'm not really sorry]) but ladies, learn to love it and be good at it and your man will stick with you through virtually any other issues the two of you have!

[g450]

I can so relate to number 46. My XW is the same way. I swear she could not put a simple sentence togerther in plain English. She is the equivalent of an 8th grade child in that regard, yet she actually runs a civil assistance help center as she is the "supervisor" there. That just blows my mind.

 

She is basically the product of the south TX tex-mex culture where even the teachers and college professors cant speak proper English LOL. And some of them hold degrees. This doesnt say much for the education system in this country, but I knew a long time ago what kind of people they were producing.

 

Trully Sad.

 

I can also relate to many others on the list. The lack of sex and never taking blame for her own actions sounds very familiar as well as gripping at me for everything I did or didnt do. At least my XW kept her motor and caboos clean though LOL. I can say that for her.

Edited July 4, 2012 by g450

[favoritepills]

Good riddance to her, then!

 

Just curious, since there are so many flaws: did she just evolve into this over time, or has she always been like this but you didn't notice until later?

[BigBear]

First off, sorry to anyone who I've offended. Reading it back it does come off a bit more coarse than I intended.

 

favoritepills: A bit of both. She never did take responsibility for her actions, ever, but I could live with it when we were getting along. I learned to just tiptoe around her. Also things like going to bed early, or being super-sensitive to noise, that's always been her. She's always been tired. On the other hand, the money items definitely evolved over time. When we first got together she made not much more than me. Her wage is now 2.5x what it was when we got together 6 yrs ago and her atttitude is a complete 180. She used to be frugal and I loved that, because I am too. Now she is part of a mgmt team where most of the guys make upwards of a quarter mil a year. She doesn't, but she spends like she does and wants to compete with them on that level. Now things she never cared about, like whether she drives a fancy car or has expensive clothes are a big deal. This to me is really sad because these were not her values at all before. I don't relate...I feel she got really lost. Her very fast rise came with a huge ego inflation. Also having a child didn't help us. She was a great partner, but as a mother she was very stressed. It was never the same after our son was born. I just don't think she could handle the two of us.

 

I could still come up with 100 reasons why I love her. Well, at least, I think I could. There's a lot of anger...maybe not.

 

I'd add a warning to the top but it looks like there is no Edit button. Too long since I posted this?

[DuchessKaye]

4, 5, 18, 19, 29, 32, 36, 38!

 

Damn!

 

But atleast, that's only 8 out of 66.

My ex wasn't that bad at all.

I miss him