b18bme Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 I am going to be hanging out with my ex for the first time since we broke up. I don't know how really to act. What are some things I should or should not do or say. I really want her back badly but I just don't know how to go about it. I am really suprised she is even gonna hang out with me as she wanted space and for me to leave her alone and I did not for a long time, i pleaded and tried to find every reason why we should get back together untill the point where she was extremely upset at me. Then a week later she is gonna hang out with me...I am really confused. I know she is already dating somebody else and that hurts but please help me out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dasani08810 Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 Ok, you're freaking just a bit....as silly as it sounds, I would have something "just come up" and cancel. I know you want to see her, but I think you're sending the wrong message. She snaps her finger and you come running. She may be just looking to see if you are still her safety net. In the emotional state you are in, you may turn into a mushball in front of her. This will only reassure her that you are there as her safety net and she can go back to the guy she's seeing until whenever. I really think that you seeing her now will delay things and harm your cause. Just try to reschedule for a later time/day. Be respectful, but don't offer any other information. Just cancel. That will send her the message that she needs to make a move on you quick! She had no problem putting you down on her totem pole; you should do the same. Drop her a few notches and it will actually speed up this process if she is to come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author b18bme Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 She did not snap her fingers and I did not come running. She called me one day and was being extremely nice, she asked what I was up to I I told her just meeting new people and having fun. Then she goes on to say that she wants to see my sisters baby...she was born 2 weeks ago. And she says she misses my 4 year old niece...my niece is really the coolest little kid in the world. Well you see todays is the 5th of july but I live in Utah and we are celebrating the 4th today...its a mormon thing I guess, so I told her that we are having a family barbeque and watching the fireworks if she would like to come. She then says well I am going partying and will probably be to hungover to come so I said ok well the offer is there take it or leave it. We did not talk for a couple of days then I sent her a text message asking if she was coming or not so I can plan for it. She said she had to make sure she wasn't working but if she wasn't then she was definalty comming. Well she doesn't work and she is comming so how should I act. I was thinking about just laughing alot acting like I am really happy and act like I am having an awesome time. Keep looking into her eyes and smiling and maybe kinda flirting a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
dasani08810 Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 I stand corrected! Sounds like you're already handling it well. Indifference is your friend. If she doesn't come, don't even mention it. If she does, just act cool about it. Don't try to "hang" with her the whole time. She said she wanted to see your family members, then let her. Just do the social butterfly with everyone else and occassionaly hang with her but only for a couple of minutes at a time. Let her hang with you if she wants to. It's a dance of indifference; the one that cares less, wins. Link to post Share on other sites
Author b18bme Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 That is something she always hated really bad. When she would come hang out with me and I would be doing other things and talking with other people. Will that make her upset? God Why???? I am really confused. This whole situation is a piece of ****. I want her back...but one minute I think ya she will be back then the next I think no way she won't. When I used to ask her if she could ever see us together again she would always say "I really don't have an answer for that" Nobody has the answers!!! I am really starting to get upset about this. I just can't let go WHY!!!!!!!! I pray for god to help me get over this girl but after I get done it feels like I am not supposed to for some reason. It feels right for me to wait for her. I HATE THIS SO BAD!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 Dude, in the name of all the guys who never had their ex call them to hang out: CHILL OUT! RELAX MAN! HAHA! You have it so good compared to some of us, and our past experiences. Didn't you learn this in highschool? Don't act like you want her. Be nice to her, but be absorbed by your own mysterious thoughts. I agree with cancelling until a later date. It will do nothing but get her back quicker. Give her NO reason for cancelling, be nice about it, and do it. You need to relax right now, though. You are fiending for her to validate you as a human being, to qualify you as a lover. People wear that on their sleeves, and lovers ALWAYS run away from it. Relax, don't say much, don't bring you guys up until she does. When she does, play it cool. Just be like "I haven't really been thinking about it, but we'll see what happens." Make the girl work for you man. Own the girl for a while, and don't make yourself such an easy target. Link to post Share on other sites
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