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Cheating when on a break??? Help me!!!


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Hi guys

 

This is my first post. I'm Scott, 21 from Arizona. I've been going out with Crystal, for almost 2 years now. I asked her to marry me bout 4-5 months in and it was good. Then I was dumb about some stuff, and we took a break... not engaged anymore. She went to Cali to visit some friends and I stayed here in AZ. She came back and I love her so much, I wanted to be with her again... I fixed things and we're currently going out... I want to buy her a better ring... ask her again!

 

The thing is... when she got back, 2 days after she told me she and her BEST FRIEND (chris) made out, tongue and all... I cried my heart out but forgave her... and it took the longest time to get those images out of my head!

 

Now, last night, she drank at my house after fireworks, and she told me that she did more... she didn't go all the way, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about... Oral on her best friend...

 

I love her soo much, and she says it back... but I just can't seem to get these images out of my mind... Its only been like 12 hrs, but I feel like I'm dying inside... Somehow this is much much different then making out... I said I forgave her, but it doesn't feel the same... I just feel like sh*t... sorry..

 

We were on a break, not together, but it still feels like cheating to me... It hurts...

How do I get better...? How can I heal...? What do I do...?

 

Thanks...

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msrealdoll

Who initiated the breakup-you or her? Were you virgins when you first got together?

 

It's not easy, but you're going to have to understand that when you're not involved in a committed relationship with someone, what they do is not your concern. When you say it 'feels' like cheating, what you actually mean is that you think of it as cheating. Try telling yourself over and over that she wasn't cheating.

 

As people go through different obstacles in their relationship, their feelings change. That pure, innocent feeling goes away, hopefully replaced by a deeper love and respect. In time, you should be able to get past it. Your relationship should be stronger for it.

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That's why breaks are the dumbest thing a couple can do. It's to the benefit of ONE person, and not the other.

 

What she has here is a grey area. Technically you aren't together, so she could go do anything or anyone she wants. And since it's only a "break" she can come back to you and say, "Oh, we were on a break, it wasn't cheating."

 

Because in her mind, you guys are broken up right now with the slight chance of getting back together.

 

The reality of the situation is you guys are broken up right now but YOU think you're still together, in the big picture of it all anyway. This is why you're so hurt by this.

 

I say to hell with her.

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