Where to find physically attractive, slightly geeky girls?

[verhrzn]

Try sci-fi/anime/geek conventions. I see tons of physically attractive (cosplay) nerdy girls there.

 

I am going to echo E's statement, though, that physically attractive does not necessarily equal healthy. You can be healthy, and not physically attractive... and you can be physically attractive without necessarily being healthy. I work out way more than a lot of my friends (martial arts, weight lifting) but I don't look it, whereas my friends never work out and yet retain svelte figures. I'm in my mid-20's, so their metabolisms will eventually catch up with them, but for right now, they 'look' healthy without actually being so.

[irc333]

Jesus Christ! Everyone farts!

 

Not in an area with people present! Cripes man. When you hear an occasional "riiiiip" coming from someone, you'd think they'd at least make it come out silently. Figured women made an effort to let it "slip" out silently.

[somedude81]

I would say try and meet women half way and develop other interests. Finding a woman who is into anime and actually under 400 lbs is going to be about as easy as giving John Travolta a massage. When you do find her, she's going to have a long line of guys behind her because that is how rare women with your hobbies are.

That's been my experience. Or they simply were not interested in dating and relationships at all.

 

Either way, there are simply way more guys with geeky hobbies then girls.

 

It's definitely a sellers market, as long as the girl isn't a whale, she'd have no problem.

[verhrzn]

That's been my experience. Or they simply were not interested in dating and relationships at all.

 

Either way, there are simply way more guys with geeky hobbies then girls.

 

It's definitely a sellers market, as long as the girl isn't a whale, she'd have no problem.

 

For the last time, none of that is true. There are TONS of geeky girls... All the cons I am at, the number of girls easily equal the guys. Heck, in some areas (anime) the girls now outnumber the guys.

 

And it is not true that "if a girl isn't a whale she'd have no problem." Why do you continue to spread these lies, when you know a living embodiment (me!) that proves it is not the case. There are plenty of geeky girls who still have problems dating. Stop making statements when you have absolutely no evidence to back them up.

[GravityMan]

Expand your interests, and along with that grow your social circle. That can lead to more opportunities to date, and can make you a more interesting person.

[malibustacydoll]

Cross-posting from a post I made in the BU sub-forum.

 

Where would I go to find girls that I like? They seem to be very rare.

 

I used to be a hardcore gamer and huge nerd. I'm 23 now and have grown out of many things that I never thought I would. I still have an affinity for geeky things, but not as much as I used to. I'm basically looking for a physically attractive, slightly geeky girl. Sexual attractiveness to me is important, but so is health. I don't want to date a fat slob who can't take care of herself. Call me shallow, but if I take the time to take care of my body, then I want somebody else who will do the same. I don't want somebody super nerdy or super geeky to the point of annoying me either.

 

My best friend is a personal trainer who owns a gym, and he has mutual friends working under him. The girls there are physically fit of course, but they are all very vain, shallow, and unintelligent. Yeah, that may seem high and mighty coming from me, but there is some serious stupidity in thinking we test our nukes on the Pentagon's walls.

 

School was never really a...great place for me to meet girls. Girls generally don't take engineering/math/tech courses. The ones I meet who do take those courses have 0 interest in dating. They are very career-driven and focused on school and studying.

 

I hate going to bars and clubs. I hate drinking. Yeah, I can easily pick up girls there...girls with no substance. Getting laid is not my goal.

 

Come to think of it, I've met all of my past exes through my social circles. Almost all of my friends have grown more into the bar/clubbing scene, working in bars, partying almost every night, whatever. It's something that happens when you go to university I guess. With that said, the girls now in my social circles consist entirely of girls that I will never have any romantic interest in.

 

My ex was a soccer player, pretty, obviously physically fit and healthy, intelligent, liked to write, was a little geeky, liked me for me at the time, nice, sexually attracted to me, wasn't greedy (never had a problem paying for some of my things), etc.

 

I'm basically having this problem where the girls I meet are incompatible with me from the get-go, and if I do happen to meet one that has a chance of being compatible, she's wholly uninterested.

 

My friends average my physical appearance at an 8. My best friend owns a gym and personally trains me. People considered me a child prodigy, very smart, blah blah. It's something all of my exes liked about me, so I'll just go with it. I never had a confidence issue, because I never actively looked for a SO. They just came to me because well...I was confident because I never cared I guess. I'm in a "don't give a ****" mood now, so I'll approach girls whenever. I'm rusty on my PUA/DJ techniques. They actually work very well...on the girls that I *don't* like LOL.

 

So...wait 9 months for the next anime convention. My best friend told me that when he was dragged to one by a mutual friend of ours, there were some hot, geeky girls. Game stores are a no-go. The girls going there look like they don't give a crap about their health and hygiene. I guess I'll try a book store. Library's kinda dead. People definitely do not want to socialize there. I live in a rich town that pretty much has nothing to do except for drinking.

 

Sounds like you're looking for me! I do understand your difficulty though. I have the same problem seeking that in men. I have an affinity for geeky guys but most of them are not athletic.

[somedude81]

For the last time, none of that is true. There are TONS of geeky girls... All the cons I am at, the number of girls easily equal the guys. Heck, in some areas (anime) the girls now outnumber the guys.

Do girls actually go to cons to look for guys?

And it is not true that "if a girl isn't a whale she'd have no problem." Why do you continue to spread these lies, when you know a living embodiment (me!) that proves it is not the case. There are plenty of geeky girls who still have problems dating. Stop making statements when you have absolutely no evidence to back them up.

One girl, does not equal plenty.

[somedude81]

I have the same problem seeking that in men. I have an affinity for geeky guys but most of them are not athletic.

It really depends on what you consider athletic.

 

All you really have to do is find where geeky guys are, and look for the ones that aren't fat. If you want a guy that at least works out, then look for the ones that aren't super skinny and have some muscle.

[KR10N]

I don't know where you guys are getting the idea that geeky girls are only fat slobs. This geek does not approve.

[somedude81]

I don't know where you guys are getting the idea that geeky girls are only fat slobs. This geek does not approve.

Oh, I definitely know geeky girls are not only fat slobs. But there does seem to be a lot of them. Which makes the ones that are not fat slobs, very high in demand. That's why I said it's a sellers market. If a geeky girl wants a geeky guy, and her name doesn't start with verh, she should have no trouble at all.

[KR10N]

Oh, I definitely know geeky girls are not only fat slobs. But there does seem to be a lot of them. Which makes the ones that are not fat slobs, very high in demand. That's why I said it's a sellers market. If a geeky girl wants a geeky guy, and her name doesn't start with verh, she should have no trouble at all.

There IS a lot of things. Like, celery... lasagna, pea-nut butter, grass and crazy people! Oh my!

[somedude81]

There IS a lot of things. Like, celery... lasagna, pea-nut butter, grass and crazy people! Oh my!

Are you sure you quoted the right post in the right thread?

[KR10N]

Are you sure you quoted the right post in the right thread?

I don't know where I am today. I think my discombobulated state is caused by a mixture of sugar and caffeine.

[somedude81]

I don't know where I am today. I think my discombobulated state is caused by a mixture of sugar and caffeine.

Ah, it's OK.

 

/me hands KR10N some pixy stix and Jolt cola.

[KR10N]

Ah, it's OK.

 

/me hands KR10N some pixy stix and Jolt cola.

POO! No good!

[Christine52]

Eh, let me rephrase that. I don't really care that much about anime or games anymore. I want somebody who can enjoy my hobbies.

 

Like...if I wanted to shoot some hoops, then I would love for her to shoot hoops with me. If I want to play a game on a lazy weekend, then I would love to play it with her. I want to have somebody who's willing to go to the gym with me. Maybe I'll want to watch an episode of whatever anime once a month. I'd rather she enjoy than not, otherwise, I'd just feel like I'm wasting her time.

 

Well, LOL after seeing you guys tell me how rare they are, this is going to make it immensely harder to move on from my ex if girls like her don't exist. She was a writer, played the same games I did, was willing to play sports with the guys and me, liked physical activity, etc. Being somebody who wasn't very musically inclined, I was able to pick up on some of her music and learn new things. I liked reading her writing. That's what I meant by "geekiness."

 

She wasn't tech/math/science-oriented at all. That's why I was there to make up for that kind of stuff whenever those kinds of problems came around.

 

I've joined groups before in the past. The problem is, I don't want people who are obsessive. The kinds of people who join anime clubs are really, really obsessive about Japanese culture. I want somebody who has a life outside of that. This is coming from somebody who used to be in those clubs. I very quickly lost interest in them because of how extreme such clubs are. Book clubs? I've never met a single girl in a book club that cared about physical health.

 

Yeah we were opposites in our self interests, but when it came to hobbies and group activities, we shared everything. I felt like we were really compatible.

 

Yes, it does sound like I'm trying to fill a void, but it's a fact that I would never be happy with somebody who's just a pretty face or somebody who doesn't like doing anything that I like to do.

 

There are plenty of fish in the sea, yet they're really rare? Ouch... It's really easy to find guys who play WoW, sports, and work out, etc. It seems to be hard as hell to find a girl with the same geeky/nerdy hobbies that knows what the sun is.

 

Physically fit and a little geeky is not hard to find. Where do you live? I'm in Toronto, ON and most of my friends are Korean/Chinese and more than half my girlfriends are what you describe. Perhaps if you live in a remote/smaller area you should try expanding your horizons and look for someone who's open minded enough to try new things, and easy going enough to enjoy being with you while doing those things they may not necessarily be in love with. Try to find a fun, easy going, outgoing girl, and you likely won't have a big issue when it comes to doing things you enjoy

 

I love basketball, volleyball, anime, science, and reading National Geographics. I also know a ton of other girls that love these things, but they look like normal girls on the outside. It's more about general personality traits than specific interests IMO.

Edited July 4, 2012 by Christine52

[Teacher's Pet]

I find farting a turn off in men.......more men audibly fart in public.....turn to each other and say....did ya hear that....nearly blew my arse off with that.....think i am king.....and then smile pleased with themselves.......than women would......

 

Farting is funny, and anyone who says otherwise is lying.

 

In fact, I just fa-

 

-TP

uh oh.

[NYC-BigKat]

Cross-posting from a post I made in the BU sub-forum.

 

Where would I go to find girls that I like? They seem to be very rare.

 

I used to be a hardcore gamer and huge nerd. I'm 23 now and have grown out of many things that I never thought I would. I still have an affinity for geeky things, but not as much as I used to. I'm basically looking for a physically attractive, slightly geeky girl. Sexual attractiveness to me is important, but so is health. I don't want to date a fat slob who can't take care of herself. Call me shallow, but if I take the time to take care of my body, then I want somebody else who will do the same. I don't want somebody super nerdy or super geeky to the point of annoying me either.

 

My best friend is a personal trainer who owns a gym, and he has mutual friends working under him. The girls there are physically fit of course, but they are all very vain, shallow, and unintelligent. Yeah, that may seem high and mighty coming from me, but there is some serious stupidity in thinking we test our nukes on the Pentagon's walls.

 

School was never really a...great place for me to meet girls. Girls generally don't take engineering/math/tech courses. The ones I meet who do take those courses have 0 interest in dating. They are very career-driven and focused on school and studying.

 

I hate going to bars and clubs. I hate drinking. Yeah, I can easily pick up girls there...girls with no substance. Getting laid is not my goal.

 

Come to think of it, I've met all of my past exes through my social circles. Almost all of my friends have grown more into the bar/clubbing scene, working in bars, partying almost every night, whatever. It's something that happens when you go to university I guess. With that said, the girls now in my social circles consist entirely of girls that I will never have any romantic interest in.

 

My ex was a soccer player, pretty, obviously physically fit and healthy, intelligent, liked to write, was a little geeky, liked me for me at the time, nice, sexually attracted to me, wasn't greedy (never had a problem paying for some of my things), etc.

 

I'm basically having this problem where the girls I meet are incompatible with me from the get-go, and if I do happen to meet one that has a chance of being compatible, she's wholly uninterested.

 

My friends average my physical appearance at an 8. My best friend owns a gym and personally trains me. People considered me a child prodigy, very smart, blah blah. It's something all of my exes liked about me, so I'll just go with it. I never had a confidence issue, because I never actively looked for a SO. They just came to me because well...I was confident because I never cared I guess. I'm in a "don't give a ****" mood now, so I'll approach girls whenever. I'm rusty on my PUA/DJ techniques. They actually work very well...on the girls that I *don't* like LOL.

 

So...wait 9 months for the next anime convention. My best friend told me that when he was dragged to one by a mutual friend of ours, there were some hot, geeky girls. Game stores are a no-go. The girls going there look like they don't give a crap about their health and hygiene. I guess I'll try a book store. Library's kinda dead. People definitely do not want to socialize there. I live in a rich town that pretty much has nothing to do except for drinking.

 

Um...I see girls like this everyday in NYC. Come here & see! I wanna try to date them 'cause they got great bodies but they got boyfriends that wont let go. Stingy guys .

[ascendotum]

For the last time, none of that is true. There are TONS of geeky girls... All the cons I am at, the number of girls easily equal the guys. Heck, in some areas (anime) the girls now outnumber the guys.

 

And it is not true that "if a girl isn't a whale she'd have no problem." Why do you continue to spread these lies, when you know a living embodiment (me!) that proves it is not the case. There are plenty of geeky girls who still have problems dating. Stop making statements when you have absolutely no evidence to back them up.

 

At my video store all I ever see are guys hanging around the anime section, so I imagined an anime convention a bit like a comicon/scifi convention with guys outnumbering girls by a fair margin and any cute girl would have guys on her like stink on a monkey, but I checked a couple of clips of anime conventions and there were actually heaps of girls, and plenty were cute. I guess its the dress up aspect that gets em in. It would seem they are worthwhile events to hit for plenty of prospects if you fancy an 'attractive geeky girl'.

[NYC-BigKat]

I already have male friends that do all of that. My ex was willing to do everything that I wanted to do and vice-versa. It was like...we were perfectly compatible.

 

Then G.I.G.S. happened on her part. I'm told by everybody here and other forums that she'll come back after finding out that the grass is greener. Everybody, my friends included, say I'm the great catch blah blah. She said that I'm an amazing person that deserves the best, and she doesn't feel she can do that for me at the moment.

 

According to this thread, the joke's apparently on me. ****!

 

 

 

 

Well, it seems to be much more common in males. I have a lot of guy friends who used to play WoW and hit the gym. They're still somewhat interested in anime/manga, some are football players, some are bodybuilders...I guess those things are just more common with males.

 

The thing is, I don't feel like I'm being that specific. I'm just looking for somebody who happens to have similiar interests (not too much to ask, right?) who also happens to care about her physical health (apparently both is too much to ask).

 

Similar interests mean I'll click with them. I've tried opposites...I don't click with them at all. As for physical health, I want somebody who cares enough to be healthy. I don't want an unhealthy slob for a SO. Not being able to take care of herself is a huge red flag for me.

 

That Chris Rock quote seems to be even more specific than what I'm asking for. I'm not asking for somebody who likes a specific show and artist. In that scenario, it would be more like me looking for somebody who likes sitcoms and rap music, which quite frankly I'm not sure how rare or common that is. Just saying, I don't think I'm really being that specific...

 

Um...I think u asking for way too much in 1 person. Girls arent built like us. They do different things from us especially hot girls. They only wanna look good & tease guys all day . I think u need to keep things u like alot with your friends & just find a cute girl thats sexy to have sex with & maybe go to the movies. Thats good enough. Be happy with that 'cause I would if I could get half a chance .

[verhrzn]

At my video store all I ever see are guys hanging around the anime section, so I imagined an anime convention a bit like a comicon/scifi convention with guys outnumbering girls by a fair margin and any cute girl would have guys on her like stink on a monkey, but I checked a couple of clips of anime conventions and there were actually heaps of girls, and plenty were cute. I guess its the dress up aspect that gets em in. It would seem they are worthwhile events to hit for plenty of prospects if you fancy an 'attractive geeky girl'.

 

Well, I've found that anime is the "gateway drug" of geekery for girls. As a pre-teen, I found animes very non-threatening (featured romances, growing-up stories, the sorts of things girls are taught to respond to over, say, the violence featured in a lot of video games), and I could watch it without being seen as too weird (which for a pre-teen girl is VERY important.) As I got more and more into anime, the tendrils (suppress the hentai puns) lead off into different nerd pursuits.... I became interested in Japanese language and culture, which lead me to Japanese classes in school, which lead to me meeting kids who played Magic, which lead into tabletop gaming...

 

Etc.

 

Anime cons are a good place to find "beginner" geeky girls, girls who have already taken tentative steps towards having nerdy interests. They are usually younger.... the OP might be slipping into slight creepy territory, being 23, but if he goes to a more mixed con (something that has anime but isn't entirely focused on it), he'll be more likely to run into college-aged girls who are still into anime, but have begun to branch out.

 

And the geek world IS becoming more and more gender-balanced... Even areas like video games, you're seeing more girls who aren't just booth babes.

 

Even more encouraging for male nerds, geeky cute girls actually don't get a lot of attention from their peers, because a lot of guys still have twisted ideas about women. For example, quite a few of my nerdy guy friends refuse to even go on a date with a girl if she isn't a perfect 10, looks-wise, no matter how geeky she may be. Other friends are so petrified of females they won't even LOOK a woman at a con, let alone try to ask her out.

 

That means that if you are 1) willing to strike up a conversation with a girl and 2) have realistic standards about her personality and looks (you'll try for a cute girl, as opposed to holding out for a hot one), you have a damn good chance of finding someone.

 

As always, if you are a nerdy male, I highly suggest Dr. Nerdlove's blog. Lots of really good tips and advice. This one may or may not be relevant to the OP: Don’t Date Geek Girls | Paging Dr. NerdLove

[Els]

Well, I've found that anime is the "gateway drug" of geekery for girls. As a pre-teen, I found animes very non-threatening (featured romances, growing-up stories, the sorts of things girls are taught to respond to over, say, the violence featured in a lot of video games), and I could watch it without being seen as too weird (which for a pre-teen girl is VERY important.) As I got more and more into anime, the tendrils (suppress the hentai puns) lead off into different nerd pursuits.... I became interested in Japanese language and culture, which lead me to Japanese classes in school, which lead to me meeting kids who played Magic, which lead into tabletop gaming...

 

Tendrils.

 

Interesting perspective. I was into anime before I went seriously into games as well (I played games before that, but mostly stuff like Solitaire/Minesweeper/Neopets etc), but I never really thought about it that way.

 

Even more encouraging for male nerds, geeky cute girls actually don't get a lot of attention from their peers, because a lot of guys still have twisted ideas about women. For example, quite a few of my nerdy guy friends refuse to even go on a date with a girl if she isn't a perfect 10, looks-wise, no matter how geeky she may be. Other friends are so petrified of females they won't even LOOK a woman at a con, let alone try to ask her out.

 

That means that if you are 1) willing to strike up a conversation with a girl and 2) have realistic standards about her personality and looks (you'll try for a cute girl, as opposed to holding out for a hot one), you have a damn good chance of finding someone.

 

I think the main problem is that the OP has something negative to say about every single girl he has ever met since his ex, for some reason or another. So IMO he could be in a room full of geek girls who aren't even overweight, but it wouldn't make a difference due to the skewed mindset he has about himself and women. Of course, it could just be that he isn't really over his ex, as ninja mentioned.

[Eclypse]

Your criteria eliminate a lot of women. You may end up having to wait for a lucky day. I met my gf at a wedding, and didn't know till after we began dating that she was a "geek" in the sense you describe. She's heavily into video games, anime and that sort of stuff. I'm not really. Never got into it, despite trying hard to like it after she showed me some stuff. She's also got a very tight, sexy body and the cutest face imaginable. But unfortunately she's not into fitness like I am so she's a bit underweight. I accepted it though since if you hold out for a person who meets every single one of your criteria you'll be waiting a long time. I suspect you'll have to compromise too.

 

I love her dearly and I'm lucky to have an amazing girl like her. I have no doubt I'm not perfect either, but to each other we are the complete package. Now if only I could convince her to turn off that naruto thing and join me for a hike in the highlands!

[ZhaoZilong5]

Nah, it's because the only girls I've met since my ex were from bars and clubs. They're just out to get drunk and have fun. Being somebody who rarely drinks, I didn't click with any of them.

 

I don't understand how I'm asking for too much in a woman. I'm asking for two very broad things. I guess I'll condense more. A physically healthy geek? I don't care what geeky thing you like, just something geeky that I can relate to. I don't care if you're some super athlete or HB10, just somebody who's willing to put in the effort to be healthy.

 

Yes, I do have something negative to say about every girl I've ever met in an anime or book club. "Negative" in the sense that none were physically active. I became friends and hung out with them. It usually boiled down to playing video games at whoever's place or watching anime at whoever's place. How about shooting some hoops or just tossing a ball around? Nah, none of them ever wanted to. It might have been outside of their comfort zone or something, I don't know.

 

As for holding out for the "perfect" woman, isn't that what people always say? You'll eventually meet the perfect person for you in life, somebody that you'll be amazingly compatible with, etc? That was my ex, but the LDR was no longer working.

 

Are two qualities really too much to ask for? I'm asking where I can meet a person like this because I want to meet somebody new. I'm not going to sit around and wait for my ex in case she comes back a couple of months or years down the line. That's just stupid to me. I'm not going to "settle" for somebody who I won't be fully happy. I don't think that's love.

 

So to compromise, I can be with somebody who doesn't want to do anything that I want to do, or I can be with somebody who I'd be unhappy with in the relationship because she's not taking care of herself. Neither seems right for me. Again, I'm not asking for somebody who loves to play basketball, WoW, watches every new anime, and wants to go to boot camp with me three times a week at 5 A.M. I feel like what I want seems very broad.

 

I can go through my past exes if you want. I dated a nerdy girl who only played MMORPGs and studied. She never wanted to do anything else, and I felt like I was missing a lot in that relationship. I had an ex who was geeky and played lots of games, but she stayed in the apartment all day smoking, drinking, and not eating right. I "settled" for that, and it didn't work out anyway. She cheated on me, but that's another story. I had an ex who went to the gym every day and also played WoW, but since the only thing we shared was WoW, she never really clicked with me enough for her to take it seriously. I had an ex who was very career-driven, passionate about her studies, very geeky (geekier than me now) and caring, but what ultimately made me not want to work things out with her (such as her misunderstanding unrelated things and being angry with me) was because I found her sexually unattractive. She was extremely overweight and didn't want to do anything about it at all. I'm sorry if it sounds shallow, but I think lack of sexual attraction would kill most relationships regardless. I can go on and on, but that's enough. I've "compromised" enough to know what I want, and again, it's two things that aren't specific at all.

 

I'm work hard on myself. Is it so much to ask for somebody who puts in the same effort as me?

Edited July 5, 2012 by ZhaoZilong5

[Els]

I don't think you understand the distinction I'm trying to make between having requirements/preferences, and levying harsh, derogatory, and negative judgments on everyone you meet. I have very specific requirements for a partner, but I don't go around calling all the younger guys I know 'immature, shallow retards' and the guys at the bar 'drunk mofos' and the guys in my class 'fat pimply slobs'.

 

Regardless, to answer your question, no, I don't think it's bad to ask for someone who fulfills all of your criteria. But we are not entitled to everything we ask for. You gotta put in the effort to ask girls out and work on yourself (and I don't just mean physically).