cuteblondegirl Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 hey guys! i dont know if i am just being silly or what but here is my story, pls let me know what you think, thanks!!! i have been dating a guy for 2 years now, he always loved me more than i loved him and was always very good to me, i always loved him but found many faults with him but still stayed with him although i was often mean to him and yelled at him. recently, i was away in europe and after i was back for a week he told me he was tired of us always fighting and he was confused and didnt know what he wanted, he said he was 28 and that this could be his last relationship so he wants to make sure its the right one, he said he still wants us to date and talk every day but to take things slow to see if it works out. i was heart broken but i agreed he called me every day and we saw each other the following weekend, the weekend was great and he told me he was sorry and he really loves me and wants things to be the same as they were before. i dont know why but i feel so sad inside. maybe its because i go away for 2 weeks and when i come back a guy who i love and who supposely loves me tells me he wants to take things slow. anyway you think i would be happy now that i saw him and things are back to normal, or so he says they are. things are not normal! i found a ticket from a gogo bar in his room, he must of gone with his single friends while i was away and that is ok but i would never, ever think he would be into that, he also never used to go online alot i have seen him online every night this week from about/around 11pm-midnight, he tells me he is just checkig his baseball fantasy stuff but it seems odd. he has also been working out which he was never into before i left. he went shopping and bought new clothes too. when we are together the sex is great and things are good but i feel so sad most times. he also told me he may be moving in with his friend, a friend who goes to bars all the time and who has sex w/different girls often. i am not insecure but i dont want a boyfriend of mine living w a roomate like that! my boyfriend had also told me before that he wanted us to move in together but now there is no word of that. he works on the beach and sees many girls every day and this has never, ever bothered but now it does. he does call me every day when he gets home from work and every day before he goes to work. he rarely goes out, usually its just for 2 hours to his friends house down the street a couple times a week. i told him i felt things were weird, and not the same and i told him it was okay if we were not together, if he no longer wanted me that i just wanted him to be honest with me. he told me he loves me so much, cant live without me and does want us to be together. the other day i went to a club with my girls and he was upset so i see he does care for me. he says i love you before we hang up the phone and he says he miss' me sometimes. we live 45mins apart and see each other only once a week, he has off in the next couple days but has not mentioned us hanging out, maybe its because he does not plan ahead he lives day by day. i am very pretty and have many friends but this is making me feel so sad!!! he tells me that he loves me and tells me to stop asking him about us because i am what he wants but why do i feel so blah inside, like i dont believe it. is it just me being silly or what!?! he was fighting with me for no reason last week but called back to apologize. fighting with one for no reason is uaually a sign of cheating, i heave heard. its a way for them to not feel so guilty about cheating. i am sorry this is so long, i just dont know what to do, if anything. i have always trusted him and have never had a reason not to but i see a gogo ticket, i see hes hanging out w a bar guy he works with , hes working out more, he was fighting w me for no reason, was online in a chat room once to for about 10 mins. he keeps saying he loves me so much and cant be without me but how do i know its true? sould i jsut chill out and relax?! any advice would be great!!! thanks!!! :0) cute blonde! Link to post Share on other sites
Aviationstud Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 So you're mean to him? Why? He loves you more than you love him? Why? Maybe you should be questioning your desire to be in this relationship all together. It would seem reasonable to assume that if you found happiness and satisfaction in this relationship, you'd be more pleasant naturally without even having to consciously try. Now that your place as his queen is challenged, at least in your mind, NOW you want to try harder. I'd say that the fact that he's been with you this long in spite of yourself says a lot. You may be pretty, but your humility should be as great as your beauty. If not, you're just too stuck-up and aren't seeing straight. Your looks can only take you so far, trust me. As a man, I'd say you're lucky that this didn't happen sooner. On the other hand, you don't really know that he's done anything at all. If he just went to some bar and chatted online, that's hardly unforgivable. Maybe you've just irritated him for too long. Maybe you should try not giving him any reasons to look elsewhere. Show him that you really want to be with him consistently, and make sure that this is how you really feel, especially now that you're feeling threatened. Your true feelings may be twisted because of that. Good luck. If you have a moment, take a look at my previous post on PERMISSION TO CHEAT and give me your opinion. I need to here more from the woman's perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 I'm curious what you being very pretty and having many friends has anything to do with this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuteblondegirl Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin I'm curious what you being very pretty and having many friends has anything to do with this situation? hi! your actually right it has nothing to do with this i guess it makes me feel better writing it, knowing if all fails w him i will meet someone new. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 When people argue that they aren't insecure, and have a lot going for them, it's usually a sign that they are insecure (I say). cbg, I don't think you have any real reason to question whether or not he has been faithful to you. I think you're just afraid that you might not be able to keep this relationship up anymore without some effort (um, kindness?). You can only keep them hanging for so long, trust me. If you care about this guy, treat him well. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuteblondegirl Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 Originally posted by Aviationstud So you're mean to him? Why? He loves you more than you love him? Why? Maybe you should be questioning your desire to be in this relationship all together. It would seem reasonable to assume that if you found happiness and satisfaction in this relationship, you'd be more pleasant naturally without even having to consciously try. Now that your place as his queen is challenged, at least in your mind, NOW you want to try harder. I'd say that the fact that he's been with you this long in spite of yourself says a lot. You may be pretty, but your humility should be as great as your beauty. If not, you're just too stuck-up and aren't seeing straight. Your looks can only take you so far, trust me. As a man, I'd say you're lucky that this didn't happen sooner. On the other hand, you don't really know that he's done anything at all. If he just went to some bar and chatted online, that's hardly unforgivable. Maybe you've just irritated him for too long. Maybe you should try not giving him any reasons to look elsewhere. Show him that you really want to be with him consistently, and make sure that this is how you really feel, especially now that you're feeling threatened. Your true feelings may be twisted because of that. Good luck. If you have a moment, take a look at my previous post on PERMISSION TO CHEAT and give me your opinion. I need to here more from the woman's perspective. hi! thanks for your reply, its very true. i feel bad that i was mean to him. he is not the most motivated person and i get annoyed easily. since all this occured i see now how wrong i was and how much i love and care for him, he says he is now starting to see it. now after 2 yrs!!! i just want things to be normal and for me to feel 100% in this. do you think i should worry? we live an hr away and see each other once a week, i never had a problem with this but now i do-i miss him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cuteblondegirl Posted July 5, 2004 Author Share Posted July 5, 2004 Originally posted by DerangedAngel When people argue that they aren't insecure, and have a lot going for them, it's usually a sign that they are insecure (I say). cbg, I don't think you have any real reason to question whether or not he has been faithful to you. I think you're just afraid that you might not be able to keep this relationship up anymore without some effort (um, kindness?). You can only keep them hanging for so long, trust me. If you care about this guy, treat him well. -Deranged thanks hunny! :0) i just dont want to over do it and be to nice since i am hurt by all this. but hes my guya nd i luv him! thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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