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Mochalatte

Can friends (not really best friends) go from 4 months of casual sex back to friendship again?

 

My 42yo guy friend is adament about wanting to stay "single" but wants me as a FWB. Says he isn't ready for a relationship. Just recently, I also found out that his other BEST girlfriend he was casually "thinking" of going farther with...did. So we are in this sex triangle now. And I hate it. He has pretty well said that it is just sex with us for the most part...though he likes spending time with me every couople of weeks and knowing whats going on in my life. But if I want more he can' t give it. And I have made it clear that if we continue on this path, I am going to develop stronger feelings. He says he is close to her bc he has known her longer. Really involved in her family life. But, I can see him not being physically attracted to her.

As for this other girl, he texts her and talks on the phone to her in front of me when we are together. Although I hadn't known they had become sexual. He doesn't respond to me very much after spending time with me. He says he isn't ready for family ties, but yet he has this with her.

 

Basically timing is a factor I think. I happen to come along when their relationship was taking off. And ours was beginning. Now, he is playing both of us. Getting to know me...and feeling out her for more. Physically we are awesome together! And emotionally, we are growing slowly. When we are together if feels like a relationship.

 

We have sent little tidbits of notes via fb. Battling what each other is willing to give in this. And I did text him showing some sweet sentimental thing I kept from our first date allowing him to understand what kind of girl that I am. No reply. He is distant other than giving me a thumbs up via fb., sending me lyrics to a song that says not to fall for him, and sending me a note with a few other tags (including her) saying we are all closest and have touched his life...

 

I could walk away. Fall off the face of the earth. Others tell me he will take me more seriously and miss me this way. Go no contact.

Or I should I just stay and just maintain a friendship. And just continue to get to know him more without sex. Is that possible???

 

What do you think?

Edited by Mochalatte
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  • 2 weeks later...

Shut down the sex part of your relationship. Tell him that his new addition to the equation has caused you to rethink your part in it all. THANK HIM for shedding new light on what you are looking for.

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