capitald Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 A Good woman: honest, truthful and sincere A Bad women: you get the feeling that some of the things she tells you are lies, probably because they are but you'll never know. G: Doesn't really have too many good guy friends, if she does she doesn't talk about them around you. B: Has many guy friends, talks about one incessantly. G: Learns from you as sure as any women wants to teach men. B: Gets really angry when she is trapped in a lie or is confronted on her behavior, in other words, uses rage effectively. G: Is content with what you offer as long as it is not pathetic and you are trying. B: Wants you to be everyguy all rolled into one, the hipster socialite, the intellectual and the brawler. Criticizes if you fail in any one area. Is highly impractical. G: Manages the tough times with grace and equanimity. B: Throws temper tantrums if she doesn't want to deal with her responsibilities. G: Is careful and looks out for your and her safety B: Puts you in bad situations and looks to bring drama into your life. G: Sticks to one guy and doesn't let other guys "too" close to her. B: Has many guy friends and many sexual partners while making you think your the only one. In other words, makes sure the relationship will self-destruct because cheating will eventually destroy any relationship. G: Doesn't kiss and tell. Keeps private matters between you and her between you and her. B: Gossips to her and your friends and family about private matters that should be taken up with an impartial professional if they can't be resolved by the couple itself. G: Is available to you when you need her, plays no games, and calls you because she believes in reciprocity. B: You get the voicemail while she is eating ice cream and having sex with your alterego. I hope I have helped and I hope you have enjoyed this. Becareful, Be wise and have fun. P.S. if you are going to make a good/bad man post or clown around please start your own post. Real responses only. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 cap, you're "good woman" sounds like a servile bore--almost Stepford like. I'd shoot myself before bonding with such a drab person. It seems you want an acolyte or disciple, not an independent, free thinking lover. I'll take your "bad woman" in a heart beat. For all her drama, the lady has a pulse. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Looks like I'm mostly bad. Link to post Share on other sites
packersgirl Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Well, as much as I agree with some of your categorizations, I do disagree with some. I'm your typical good girl. I'm a 20 year old, church going, giving, loving and ultimately too nice woman. I have values and live by my morals. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, swear, yell, or become violent. I do get frustrated and upset at times... but who doesn't? I am honest truthful and sincere... however, I do get upset when I find out I've been lied to, or trapped in a lie. Seriously now, if you were lied to when you had been honest and sincere, wouldn't you be upset? I have a lot of close guy friends... but thats all they are. I would NEVER think to bring them up in conversation with the guy I'm interested in though. I don't hang out with them 24/7... I hardly see them even once a week, and thats usually at church! A good woman learns from everything, from people she's close to, to situations she's in... she'll take her experience and move on. Hehe... I'm content with a guy no matter what he does, sometimes his pathetic moments are endearing. I agree with a good woman keeping things between the two of you just between the two of you, and being there when she is needed. No woman is perfect, just like no man is perfect. If we were, how boring would that be? Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Looks like I'm mostly bad. And that's a "good" thing, Deranged! Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 holy cripes ppl are preferring the bad over the good? NO wonder hotchy motchy...it all makes things clearer don't it...at least to innocent, plain, honest ole me Link to post Share on other sites
Author capitald Posted July 6, 2004 Author Share Posted July 6, 2004 Yes, dude, nice observation, but I think most people get sick of the bad or being the bad after a while and the go "good", the bad are always in the end analysis, the minority. Of course, thats not saying the "good" are especially exceptional people or are even decent, but at least they have the base. Link to post Share on other sites
LatsyrcSC Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Good luck finding someone to meet all those qualities lol Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Originally posted by capitald A: Good woman: Doesn't really have too many good guy friends You got the good and the bad mixed up. I want a bad girl who would do anything I tell her Link to post Share on other sites
Author capitald Posted July 6, 2004 Author Share Posted July 6, 2004 In response to sinner, I guess i am looking for somewhat of a faithful fanatic rather than a fallacious follower. I am not looking for a disciple so much as my biggest fan I guess. That doesn't mean she can't be my biggest or best critic also, but being my fan should be job number one. Actually, I just want that person that can appreciate me more than the rest do. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 I want a bad girl who would do anything I tell her I couldn't have said it any better. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 In response to sinner, I guess i am looking for somewhat of a faithful fanatic rather than a fallacious follower. I think I understand the difference, cap, but there's a very hazy line between the two. Good luck in your search, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Well, I was the 'bad girl' many times in the past..... I learned from my mistakes and have since become the kind of person I would want to be with! Suffice to say, I'm now in a loving stable relationship because of it. Being a 'good girl' doesn't mean being a 'servile bore'. It means establishing a solid, trustworthy foundation with someone. It means being respectful as well as worthy of respect. "Boring"? I don't think so. If your idea of excitement is hanging with a petulant, whiny, tantrum-throwing manipulative player....then go for it. I used to think the 'good guy' was a bore too.....until I got sick of the ****. I had to roll around in **** and get a few good mouthfuls of it before I realized...IT'S ****. Honesty is hard work. Once you realize that, once you realize the emotional risks it entails, you see that it's not boring. It's freeing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author capitald Posted July 7, 2004 Author Share Posted July 7, 2004 Hoorah Karlise!!!! I think that was the first TRUELY mindfull response I have EVER heard spoken on this forum. Truely words of experience and of learning from it. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Yup, too bad she's taken...but then, aren't all the good ones? Link to post Share on other sites
oogle000 Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 i dont get it. i would be the male version of good guy or nice guy. yet i dunno how many people tell me im just toooo nice. my ex was in a brutal relationship and when she met me i treated her like a princess and she said she finally found her good guy. year later she leaves me and gos back to a guy who treated her like crap. wanted her to let him sleep with other women and hit her. what is it that women really want....sheeeesh!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 yeah, I wanted to praise karlise too...but I also wanted to wait and see if anyone would rightfully object to such logic. Sure she used to be bad but now changed. It's that type of post that gives you hope you know? But it also shows the level of self love and self respect lacking in some of the comments from some that you would think have enough experience to learn otherwise...but then again, maybe it's all about taste and maybe those things never change? cap's list compares someone who is honest, respecting, caring, understanding...someone who is basically a genuine person VS someone who is not those things. And to see some people preferring the negative over the positive...makes you wonder about it all and what is the majority. Bore? Boring? Are you kidding me? Sure I like to deprecate myself but that's what loving and being confident in yourself is all about...about being humble, having humility but knowing those qualities in you that are awesome. I call myself boring because I'm so confident . Yeah, I don't really think I'm boring and I know this one girl who gives me hope for the rest of the world. She's honest, respecting, caring, understanding and she's a little goth, rock/grunge girl with a little hard edge to her and is the occasional pot-head...and I love her. Boring? Hell not in the least. Man, it's about loving yourself. This post and the comments are a test to that, even if that wasn't the intention. If you think being honest, respecting, caring, understanding is being servile...something sad went wrong in your life. I'm those things, and you think I'm servile you're sadly mistaken. Sure if you're a jackass who doesn't respect someone but want those things in a mate than yeah, you're looking for someone servile...but it's all about being a couple. When you both reflect those things to each other that's what it's all about. Who the hell wants some juvenile mind playing dishonest drama queen? Um yeah...not me. So I wonder if some of Cap's older posts have kept some people away from this thread. It would be good to see some of their comments on this, especially some of the females as I would like to understand further. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 So I wonder if some of Cap's older posts have kept some people away from this thread. Bwaha. No. But they influenced my response, as short and sweet as it was. -DA Link to post Share on other sites
Author capitald Posted July 7, 2004 Author Share Posted July 7, 2004 I am sorry if I can be a bit imposing at times. Maybe I am a bit overaggressive. I will try and work on that. dude, I really liked you tone here. You have taken the chance to display the true courage to say what you truely believe regardless of what people think. I am happy if I helped make that possible. See, now that is real authentic communication. Compare that with with what you have written in the past or with what most people write and you'll see the difference. There is some freedom in there (you probably feel freer) and some spontaneity. Congratulations. Thats life, thats what I have been talking about, not some rambling on about your sufferings. For example, you would never know that some punky looking goth girl could actually be the nicest person in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Compare that with with what you have written in the past or with what most people write and you'll see the difference There's a book by Dale Carnegie you might wish to read, Cd Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 There's a book by Dale Carnegie you might wish to read, Cd Good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 In Defense of "Bad" Women: 1. Any adult sexual relationship requires a degree of deception, dissimulation, the social lie, the little white lie. Lying delicately is an art form and implies a degree of social skill that a person who's honest all the time lacks.I'm not talking about a pathological liar, but a social liar. I prefer an element of fog in my relationships. Too much clarity too early is a turn-off. 2. In my limited experience, the more interesting, sexually skillful and fun women were those women who had mostly guy friends--they preferred the sexual company of men. I was rarely threatened when they talked about what they liked or disliked about the men in their past because I came to understand them better. Plus, they're with me. 3. I agree that "drama queens" are fatiguing. On the other hand, I wouldn't want a woman who just wanted to learn from me. Too much adoration is bad for the soul--idols and clay feet and all. 4.No guy wants a hyper-critical lover.Too much criticism is irritating. On the other hand, passive acceptance is so boring. The best woman picks her spot and time for criticism, and she also knows how to package it. 5.I agree that the best women (and men) deal with difficult times with grace and equanimity. Although that's easier said than done. But most adult women I've known do not throw temper tantrums. That's probably an age thing, I guess. 6.I enjoy women with a good number of sexual partners. These women are usually very, very good lovers and quite fun. I also don't mind if they tell me about their men. Again, the comments she makes tell me much more about her than it does about them. 7.I like women who are comfortable in their own skin. Women who don't try to mold themselves into what she believes is my Idea of a "good" woman. I love women who are comfortable being themselves. 8. Last, it's not about being "bad" or "good" in a moral sense. Rather, it's one person's opinion about what he considers attractive and unattractive traits in prospective mates. Personally, a woman who embodied cap's "good" traits would , to me, be a boring dish rag. A woman who embodied all of cap's "bad" traits would be a psycho bitch from hell. Fortunately, women are multi-dimensionally human and amalgams of both "good" and "bad." They are not stick figures or caricatures. Link to post Share on other sites
Karlise13 Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Sinner -- The 'social lie' (which is a nicety developed to grease the works, so to speak, while people suss each other out) certainly serves a purpose. I understand your point. That said, I think 'good women' and 'nice people' sometimes carry the 'wuss' stigma with the assumption that they -- ALWAYS tell the truth -- Would rather get walked on than face a confrontation -- Have no sense of self -- Always get the short end of the stick. Being a wuss does not make you a 'good' person and being a 'good' person does not make you a wuss. A wuss who is blindly adoring (no matter what kind of **** gets heaped on their plate), who gets walked on and hides from confrontation is a different animal. A 'good' person, in my book, has a strong sense of self. They will argue with you BUT fight clean The may confront you BUT not attack you They are independent BUT not aloof They are loving BUT not clingy They are honest BUT have boundaries They may even engage in the occasional one-night-stand while single (or, perhaps be in an open relationship that allows for such things) I am willing to concede that 'good people' (and I know some) may also indulge in sex fetishes, kink, domination, nudism, pot-smoking, atheism, over-spending, gossiping, Jerry Springer, compulsive spending, overeating, over-reacting, etc. They are human, not Stepford People. However, you LIKE being around a good person. I think the true mark of a 'good person' for me is that I can be who I am and I LIKE who I am when I am around them. Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 I am most definitely a Good girl - Yep and all my dating life I've been a good girl. Link to post Share on other sites
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