Things falling apart

[Kid Midnight]

This is my first post. About 2 months ago, my wife told me that she feels like we have slipped into a "room mate" zone with me and isn't sure what to do. We had pretty much stopped having sex and there is an emotional distance between us. We are both in our mid thirties and have three children, ages 9, 6, and 6. We have stated both of us we want to make things better and at first after "the talk", things came on hot and heavy and we boosted our sex big time.

 

And there is today. Two days ago, we had a talk before work where it came out that maybe we need to split up, become a seperate couple under one roof. I agreed that this sounded reasonable and we proceeded. Later that day, we both came to our senses and realized that our marriage is not too far gone to save and decided to give it another try.

 

I am convinced she is having an internet affair. She is constantly on the computer or her iphone. I am trying to stay cool, seeing as I have had an "emotional affair" myself and would find it highly hippocritical to be jealous. I just find myself trusting her less and less and need constant reassurance that she is not creeping. I am starting counseling next week and am hoping that I can find some way to deal with my feelings of mistrust, but I am convinced that there is another man.

 

What can I do? Of course I have asked her if there is someone else which she denies. Other than setting a trap for her, is there something I can do?

 

Help!

 

Kid

[Balzac]

Trust your gut. Proceed with counseling. I've never understood why spouses feel compelled to catch the cheater or search out evidence but that strong drive exists.

 

Sounds like you are seeking a confession so you can then call it even?

[reboot]

You can't "fix" your marriage as long as either of you are involved with someone else. It isn't a question of "catching" them, it's a question of "stopping" them.