Redhotkisses Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I met this guy I have been seeing a year ago .. I was single and had been browsing pictures on a friends Facebook and hadn't expressed any interest in any guys since myself and my baby's father split months before .. We had a very crazy relationship for about 4 years, only being good for about 4 months out of that but when I met himi couldn't pick out one thing I liked and before seeing this other guy could not find one guy that grabbed my attention like him. So I just had to know him. So I click his profile and add as friend to see he is engaged with a child, but messages a HI anyways. There was just something about him, so through mutual friends we hung out a few times random times .. Not alone always with friends and began texting everyday all day, both flirting very much, falling for him more and more and each time meeting going a step further, to eventually having sex .. He would get so paranoid at first and I wouldn't see him for a month or more but still we would text everyday. I really began to like him a lot. I would always ask to see him but he would never come over alone etc. I don't believe he had any intentions on having feelings etc. he is in a 10 year relationship at 27 with a 7 year old .. Until about 3 months ago when he began actually coming over everyday .. Just hooking up and leaving for a while .. But as the time went on we would spend more time with one another .. He told me that he didn't want me to see anyone else of he wouldn't be able to see me .. Which I don't agree with as he would stay with her but swears that's he wouldn't sleep with her and wasn't attracted to her that way. So I believed him and didn't see anyone else .. He's very jealous and as time passed he would throw in very jealous comments I guess because his girlfriend don't know many people and he knows what she's all about but me being an attractive female he wasn't sure about so I guess as his feelings grew for me he got more worried that I would do him wrong .. That not being the case because I am head over heel for him. After all this he told me he had cheated before in her but many years ago and he was truly in love with me and not with her and actually left her .. They have a house together and a child and everything so he is pretty comfortable there to when he left not having a place to live etc so he would stay with me for about a week and went back with her because of his child he says .. We stopped talking for about a week and he wrote me again telling me he couldn't be without me he needed to see me, so I agreed after all the heartache that had caused .. So about 2 days pass he does thd same .. Leaves her .. Than stays for about 2 weeks this time .. And GOES BACK .. Where he remains right now for the last 2 weeks .. But once again contacted me because he says he isn't in love with her but is in love with me and I can just tell or I believe anyways from the time we spend together he's sincere but won't leave on account of his child not to mention his family is totally against him leaving .. Since all of this she has found out about me and has not contacted me etc. I feel awful but I really do love him .. He says he wants to be together but can't at this moment .. But can't live without me and really loves me .. He makes me feel so good when we are together but the felling of him leaving and going home to her is so unbearable now.. I would like to know people's thoughts .. Should I wait ??? What should I do ??? Do it sound like he wants me ?? Will he cheat on me ?? Anything .. Comments please Sincerely, Dazed and confused Link to post Share on other sites
sad puppy Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 You need paragraph breaks, too hard to read. Link to post Share on other sites
ac11442 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I know how you feel. But the reality is that he's going to stay with her. And his IS attracted to her in 'that way', don't fool yourself. He's telling you what you want to hear. And by telling you he doesn't want you seeing anyone else he's ensuring you are there when he wants you. If you dated someone else you might decide being his OW isn't working for you anymore. Everyone says they stay for the children. I've heard "The only thing worse than being from a broken home is living in one". Very true statement. Kids know things. And the reality is you don't have a clue what his relationship with her is really like, you only knows what he tells you. I know you trust him but remember, he's a crafty liar. He's been lying to her for a long, long time. If he were to tell you "my relationship with her is great! Sex life is good, kids are good, we get along wonderfully! I just like getting away from the responsibility of house and kids plus get a little on the side" would you still be with him? Every jilted OW on here has had to face the same reality. I'm facing mine as we speak. Oddly enough reading other peoples stories helps. They are all so incredibly similar to mine it makes me realize my situation is anything but unique. Its a reality check for sure. And when you're ready you'll know. And it will be hard but we all survive. Eventually. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redhotkisses Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Sorry ... New to this forum thing !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Redhotkisses Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Thanks I appreciate the input very much .. I am beginning to see this .. I guess it all stems from me just not wanting to be alone nd the fulfillment I do get when he is around knowing full and well it's actually breaking me inside. I've never experienced anything like this and when. We don't speak it's so difficult for me and really affects how I live daily. I hope I realize this soon every little bit helps !! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Relationships (and I use the term loosely) like this are like drugs because sometimes you're up and sometimes it's like a withdrawal and you think you can't live without them and are willing to do ANYTHING to get that good feeling back that you had with them. The only way to get rid of a nasty addiction is to steel yourself, realize it for the destructive thing it really is, and go through the painful withdrawal. This man will only pick you up to drop you. It's like a drug for him too. He wants his fantasy to work out, but his reality keeps getting in the way. The truth is that the carefree fantasy of you being together (for you) and Jim being able to string two women along with no other issues (for him) isn't stable, healthy or nuturing. Eventually the "high and good" feelings will dissipate and you will only end up resenting him for not being able to follow through on anything he claims, and for dragging you through his issues. You know this already, you want it to be different because in your mind it shows so much promise and he feels really, really good right now when you are on the winning side. The fact that you know this and are letting those feelings control you shows your own issues. Dont get involved with men in relationships. It shows that they don't truly know how to have relationships! (not preaching, just sayin) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I would like to know people's thoughts .. Should I wait ??? What should I do ??? Do it sound like he wants me ?? Will he cheat on me ?? Anything .. Comments please My thoughts while reading your post was... this guy is actually homeless. His soon to be wife/baby mother tolerates him until she can't take it anymore and tells him to get the hell out. Then he calls you and says he misses you when actually he has no place to stay and you put him up. That's how I read your post. You have nothing to wait for... what could you be waiting for. "He says he wants to be together but can't at this moment .. But can't live without me and really loves me .. " When is your moment suppose to come. Have you considered the time table. Seriously have you. Child age seven lets say a decade is how long you have to wait. Is a decade ok with you? First thing you need to do is stop allowing this man to squat in your home. You miss me ... fine.. whatever. Drop by... but at the end of the night you need to leave. You are not the Hilton. Tell him go sleep on his mothers couch. This man has too many places to run to. Close one of the doors. A man who has options doesn't want one alone, he wants them all. Don't worry about the cheating on you part yet. Focus on asking for what you want and if you can't get it move on. FB seems to filled with cheating faces. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beachbabe82 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Thanks I appreciate the input very much .. I am beginning to see this .. I guess it all stems from me just not wanting to be alone nd the fulfillment I do get when he is around knowing full and well it's actually breaking me inside. I've never experienced anything like this and when. We don't speak it's so difficult for me and really affects how I live daily. I hope I realize this soon every little bit helps !! Hey! Stop being his booty call!!!! He is using you. He doesn't love you, he wants to have sex with you! Of course he misses the sex! But he is already with someone and you knew that prior to hooking up with him. Honey, he isnt into you like you are to him. Stop letting him treat you like an option and using you! I know you are lonely but how do you like knowing he keeps going back to her and you know he is having sex! And if she knows about you, she is really having hot sex with him. So I hope you are using protection!! Better to be alone and happy than being involved in all this drama!!! My guy backed up his words with action! he moved out and we are together - not living together cause I won't do that until his divorced is final. I am not a secret and we love each other very much. If he really cared about you, he would be with you. Stop letting him use your house as a hotel!! Stop letting him use your body. Break Freda d find someone not already taken. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Will he cheat on me ?? Anything .. Comments please Sincerely, Dazed and confused "A man who marries his mistress is only creating an opening for the position" Link to post Share on other sites
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