Jim24 Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 This has been a major problem for me. There have been many times where I see a girl as being interested and then it turns out that they are not. Theres this recent situation where this girl in my class started talking to me all the time. We shared info about our lives, interests etc and later exchanged screen names and cell numbers and that sort of thing. I let the thing go on for awhile and it got to the point where she was always smiling at me, making an effort to talk to be, ask if I would be going to certain events, etc. However, she never gave a straight answer when I asked her out, always seemed to be busy, etc. I decided that she wasnt interested after she said that she didnt want to do something because she was out of money and didnt like to wind up owing money even though I offered after the fact to just pay for the whole thing, and I was kinda hurt by that excuse. I dunno if I misread her signals or not but it just seemed like she was interested. And her reaction to my invitations really confused me. If someone can tell me if I misread her signals and she was just being friendly or if I was doing something wrong, please let me know. This kindve thing has happened several other times and I dunno whether I'm misreading signals or giving up to easily. Link to post Share on other sites
blue17 Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 good question.....I was just recently in a very similar situation. If anyone can answer his question plz help! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 It's a hard situation to judge, Jason. While I think women are basically the same at any age, high school is a kind of dating jungle, where anything goes and people are not always easy to read (or at least that was my experience). Still, I think the same rules generally apply. I think you obviously know what you're doing when it comes to raising interest level. You know about asking questions, right? Well, here's something else: when you're asking questions, do so with one purpose in mind: get a girl to elicit feelings. Think of experiences and get her to remember those experiences - things like walks along the beach or something exciting like adventure sports or something along those lines. Ask her about some of those experiences and try to put her in that zone again, where she's recalling her feelings. Signs of interest? Touching (trying to let you know that she trusts you enough to make physical contact with you) Laughing (trying to draw an emotional connection) Asking about your plans for the weekend (means she's scoping you out, trying to figure out your social status) Asking general questions about you (she's at least interested enough to know more about you). I think these are in descending order, from most positive signs to just basic signs. Link to post Share on other sites
Dee Dee Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Sorry, Amerikajin, woman ARE NOT the same at any age. Life is a learinig cuvre and whether or not we like the route of the curve, "changes" are bound to appear - for men and women. Link to post Share on other sites
canadiangirl1972 Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 To begin, how many of us are the same person now as we were when we were 18 years old? I know I'm not and thank goodness for that. 18 is very different than 32 and 32 is very different than 48. Most everyone changes as they age, and it's usually for the better. Hopefully you learn from your mistakes and bad life choices. As you age, you usually start to find out who you are and what you want from life. You see things that go on in this world and you say, I don't ever want to be like that or perhaps even get behind a cause you believe in. We all learn, grow and change as people everyday. Secondly...I always find it interesting when a woman can't be friendly with a man, without the man getting the wrong idea. Why can't I ask a guy what his plans are for the weekend? Why can't I smile at a guy and say hello and ask him how he's doing? Why can't I show interested in the private life of a guy? Can a woman not be a friend with a guy? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this woman wasn't or isn't interested. Maybe she is, and maybe she isn't. I guess I just take offense when some men just assume that if a woman is nice to them, she automaticly "wants them". Sometimes guys, a woman is just looking for friendship nothing more. She shows interest in you, because that's what friendship is about. You exchange information and show interest in the other persons life. You talk, laugh and share personal information. You spend time together and enjoy one another's company. Treat each woman as an individual, don't lump them all together and place a label on them. If you really wanted to know what she wanted or what she was thinking, why didn't you just come out and ask her? Are you interested in dating me, or are we just friends? Or something along that line? Sometimes people do send mix signals, and sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it. However at the end of the day, if you ask the question, 99% of the time, I'm willing to bet you'll get your honest answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Jim24 Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 I dunno about the straight-up asking thing. There are too many girls ive seen who will either say maybe until you get the point (which i personally find worse than if the girl just slapped me and said hell no) or say yes and then remain busy (though they could really just be very busy). I just want to know how to distinguish a girl who wants to be friends from a girl who wants a more intimate relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
canadiangirl1972 Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Well the only answer I have for you is to just ask. Do you really want to be with someone that can't be straight forward with you and say either yes I'm interested or no I'm sorry I'm not interested? Some people do flirt with others even though they're not at all interested and some are shy and not able to walk up to someone and ask them out. Even when you're straight up with someone you are always going to run into someone that won't give you a straight answer because they either don't want to hurt your feelings or they're not sure if they're interested in you or not. You will even run into people that want you to be interested in them, fawn over them, but they are not interested in you. Whether you're straight forward or not, you will run into these types of people all the time. I guess I just look at it from the point of view, either you're interested in me or you're not. If you are interested now is your opportunity to say something and if not, well so be it, but at least I've asked and have no regrets or what ifs later on. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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