When does the No Contact end?

[Kevin Kristopher]

So i've been doing the no contact thing and now it has been 2 weeks since i have talked to her. She hasn't tried calling so now when do i when no contact is over. if she is not contacting me what do you guys think it means because as much as i want her in my life as a girlfriend she wouldn't give that back to me but she tells me she loves me still and even said awhile ago that she hopes that we do get back together, but what i do want to know is when should i end no contact? do i just keep doing it till she calls me or is it really bad when you do the no contact thing then decide to call her, i need help with this thanx

[danny8630]

No contact is sooooooooo hard. I give in so easy when it comes to calling an Ex. I think when the girl doesn't call back or make an effort to call after saying she "loves you"...doesnt really love you. It obvious if someone loves you, they would do whatever is in their power to contact you. Sorry for your situation.

[mrbubbles]

yes, i would like someone to answer your thread kris because i need that advice too! none the less, been another 4 days of no contact since the breakup 2 weeks ago, now im just sat here wandering when or if to call in a friendly manner of course and what i could say or talk about or even try hint or test the waters.

[magda]

No contact can end as soon as you don't care anymore. For as long as you're obsessing over her, and she's not calling you, you cannot be trying to contact her. Stop thinking about her! Watch a movie, go bowling, get out of the house.

[Kevin Kristopher]

Yeah an what sucks for me is i now i think that the timing was off with my no contact. see we're both students at arizona state an now its summer. i live in southern cali an she lives in northern cali so i decided since it is going to be summer and i wouldn't be able to see her that the no contact thing would work and make it easier for me but now i think that it is making it easier for her cuz she can' t see me also an now she can just talk to this guy thats been callin her now.....man it sucks, what is ur situation bubbles,?

[mrbubbles]

long distance, broken up for 2 weeks, deciding now whether to phone her after 4 days of no contact again. i agree man with you thinking u might of left it too late, thats why i replied to a thread ex calling back just a few minutes ago stating why you shouldnt alway stake the advice of ppl bcos most of the time they dont actually take ur situation into consideration, mor eprotect you then help achieve your goal.i feel like phoning yes, i dont want to leave it so long whilst also if i do decide to call, to just seem friendly and calm, no pressure, no silly questions and if she replies in a hostile way i cut the phone call and try another -5 days time maybe until i decide that ive had enough and am ready to move on but until then my goals need to be achieved and im sure it can be

[Kevin Kristopher]

well mr. bubbles just to tell you a little bit about what i've been going through, i tried this no contact think like 4 times and the longest it lasted was like no more than 3 days but now i have finally tried to stick with it and its been 2 weeks an 1 day.

 

For me after one day of N/C i was like you know what i don't need to do this no contact, i can talk to her and keep my composure but what happens is you call an you talk but then she'll be like i'll call you back then doesnt' call back when she says she does so then you call back an say why didn't you call then it turns into something it shouldn't be basically becuz she really doesn't have to call you when she says she does. i dunno like you can try but i guarantee your gonna start getting mad becuz ur gonna realize she doesn't really feel the same way you do. but thats just my take on it

[mrbubbles]

i kow what u are saying but listen to what u told me, u contacted her 4 times since u broke up and none lasted longer then 4 days..i have never contacted her b4 3 days bcos it would more likely seem to pressure her or make her feel uncomfortable then talk on a reasonable level while her defences are up.i fully understand your point about it might go wrong, but as i have not pounded ehr with phone calls or made her feel uncomfortable (i have genrally kep it short sweet and polite and on a friendly level) im hoping her defences wont be up as usal and she can take me as a friend rather then her ex otherwise all those barriers will come up.dont worry, im treading carefully but the one thing im not doing is losing control of my emotions by contacting, all im simply doing is taking my time and approaching it in a calm and polite manner

[mrbubbles]

not once since we have broken up have i even pressured or asked serious questions, therefore eliminating maybe some of the reasons she wanted to break up in the first place and therefore not having to defend at all because im not giving her any reason to, only the good side.

[cword]

See lucky for you guys, the no contact thing works. For me, I can only do the no contact for ONLY a certain amount of time because we have a kid together. This is harder for me because of the kid. He "claims" that this is his reasons for the contacting me, but I'm not sure if it is true or not. So I'm stuck. Any suggestions?

[faux]

Originally posted by Kevin Kristopher

So i've been doing the no contact thing and now it has been 2 weeks since i have talked to her.

 

So far, so good.

 

She hasn't tried calling so now when do i when no contact is over.

 

No contact is never "over". No contact means: No more contact. Period. No contact at all. It does not "end" until one person breaks it and attempts to contact the other.

 

if she is not contacting me what do you guys think it means because as much as i want her in my life as a girlfriend she wouldn't give that back to me but she tells me she loves me still and even said awhile ago that she hopes that we do get back together, but what i do want to know is when should i end no contact? do i just keep doing it till she calls me or is it really bad when you do the no contact thing then decide to call her, i need help with this thanx

 

You move on as soon as possible and try to realize that she is done with you. Do not wait around for her. Do not phone her, as you already got two weeks into it. Give it a few more weeks and you'll think far less of her.

 

As for her hoping to get back together with you, and "still loving you", she was attempting to spare you your feelings. By trying to be so nice to you, she probably never successfuly communicated that she wants nothing more to do with you. Since you haven't phoned her, she probably thinks you've moved on and got the picture, which sadly isn't the case.

 

My advice: Move on. Don't call her. Don't wait around for her.

 

The last person I was dating gave me her work schedule, and said she wanted to plan a night or two to get together. She was supposed to call me back with what nights were good so we could schedule, and she never did. I left three messages over four days reminding her I needed her schedule. It has now been almost a month. She hasn't called, and I don't intend to call her back. It's extremely rude and insulting of someone to make plans, then never follow through with them or provide me with a "sorry, I cannot meet this week."

 

She had been interested in some other guy as well, so I've no doubt she got suckered into what she didn't want: a relationship.

 

I filled my time up with hobbies, friends, and meeting new people. I've been seeing a lot of someone new recently, and I'm quite happy. I suggest you take the same route: Don't wait around for this girl, don't call her or hope she'll call, and go out and try to be social.