BwwAF Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 here I go ...i met my "guy" w/benefits 1yr ago this coming August thru my bro-n-law while we were hanging out. Talked for a couple weeks then we met up, made out, then a couple weeks later our "benefits" started! Im 38 & he's 33, both single parents ... Chemistry is hot & full-on for both of us. So after hangin out for like 3mos I brought up me wanting/deserving more, but didnt get answer I desired. Almost 9mos after that "talk" we are still benefiting! Ive been very, very distant as far as initiating any comm, where as before holidays I would send cute, short texts ... Nomore! Hes been sweet, attentive & i've allowed him to be. So, w/that all said heres the latest, latest ... Two days ago he surprised me w/ a visit & i'm kinda baffled. He asked "what are we, what's goinng here?" Complimenting me & just being very affectionate, which he's shown at times, but w/out the inquiry. What does it mean ... Those are questions I would've asked??? It through me thru a loop, so would like some honest, mature, objective clarity ... Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 What do you want to know exactly? What did you answer to his question? Only you can answer that! Sounds like he may want to become official? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BwwAF Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 Like I said I was shocked w/ his sudden inquiries, so not much. I just said well we've been doing this for awhile, so are we friends? I want to believe he was asking out of sincerity & care, but another part is wondering if he asked just to say right things to keep me around ... Ughhh! Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 So after hangin out for like 3mos I brought up me wanting/deserving more, but didnt get answer I desired. BwwAF, You need to stop beating around the bush, and tell the man, as one adult to another ,to stop wasting your time. I really have tried to understand the "friends with benefits" and it almost never ends in friendship, and the disappointment ,seems to almost always destroy the benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BwwAF Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 Skywriter, So you think he's bs-ing me when he asked me those questions? Ive never been involved in "fwb/f-buddies" ... I do like him & I just dont wanna get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 (edited) BwwAF, Hi, sorry for the late reply. In fairness, not to project my experiences into your situation. Not knowing this guy, I can't say wether he's bs-ing you or he's asking in sincerity. The fact that he took the initiative to ask, would imply that he's interested in where your head is at to some degree. I've been in an A, so in some way I guess this would classify in the friends with FWB, experience, to some degree, minus the W or GF. My AP, was a philanderer/cake eater, type. This is why I didn't want to project my experience onto yours. My thoughts are, you guys are mature adults, and as myself a 48 yr old woman. I'm in the frame of mind that life is what we make it. If you two are'nt willing to be forthright with your needs and such. It's like dancing around your needs and then resenting one another eventually because neither stepped up to the plate. Add, the fact that neither feel you woe one another anything. Life is short, we aren't promised tomorrow, regrets suck. This isn't meaning jump from the pot into the frying pan. It means if you aren't happy with the status quo. FWB, let it be known. I'm at a stage where I consider, "gosh, I've lived over half my life, why waste time on things that are meaningless". Edited July 12, 2012 by skywriter Link to post Share on other sites
Author BwwAF Posted July 14, 2012 Author Share Posted July 14, 2012 Skywriter, I dont want to look back & have regrets w/ how I handle this situation. When/how we met I had a strong feeling i'm allowing him into my life for great, long-term reasons. I'm on the fence of what i want to do here ... Put myself out there again or go w/ flow & see what happens. But after 1yr of this we should have answers right? How long were you in your fwb & how did it end? Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 We were involved for five yrs and ten months too long. I finally, opened my eyes to the cake eater that he was. your guy sounds to like he counld potentially be a good guy. He asked, "where are we going?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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