Well I was wrong.

[AlexanderJames]

Haha damnit I wasnt going to think into the name thing!

Well I sent her a txt saying Hey J____.

Maybe she just used my name cause I used hers? haha.

 

We will see how right you were come friday night Mr. Roger.

At first I was okay with going with the flow and all that but you're right my sanity comes first so I have to ask.

 

I was thinking of something cool and collected to say. Much like your first suggestion. What do we think of "I've really enjoyed spending time with you again, but can I ask where you hope for it to lead? Because if it isnt going to go anywhere then I don't see the point in continuing"

[RogerWallace111]

Aah yeah, I ignored that possibility ! Yes it was almost definitely that and if not, just what I suggested above.

 

If you make that **** come true, it will ! Just the asking. Even if the night goes well... The way I see it you really, really should. Hanging out with her every so often is not worth royal brainf*cking you recieve in the interim.

 

That's a good way to put it, though I would leave out the "can I ask" and just say "but where is this going" ? Nitpickin sh*t, I know, but it just sounds stronger that way, in my opinion...

[AlexanderJames]

If you make that **** come true, it will ! Just the asking. Even if the night goes well... The way I see it you really, really should....

 

Umm this makes no sense to me? /:

What **** come true haha?

 

I do not understand what you are saying here at all lol

So leave off can I ask you? and just go straight to the question?

I really really should what?

Edited July 11, 2012 by AlexanderJames

[AlexanderJames]

"I've really enjoyed spending time with you, but where is it going? Because if its going nowhere then I don't see the point in continuing"

 

That ^?

[AlexanderJames]

Movie times set for friday night.

She says she has work at 6am the next day so wants to go early. At least that tells me that if she bails she's not going out on the town or having a massive night. She will probably just bail on me and have an early night.. Maybe. Haha.

 

She's putting smiley faces in ALL of the txts she sends me lol. Shouldnt think anything of it but she hasnt done it in a while. First time since seeing me on the weekend.

[livelife]

Movie times set for friday night.

She says she has work at 6am the next day so wants to go early. At least that tells me that if she bails she's not going out on the town or having a massive night. She will probably just bail on me and have an early night.. Maybe. Haha.

 

She's putting smiley faces in ALL of the txts she sends me lol. Shouldnt think anything of it but she hasnt done it in a while. First time since seeing me on the weekend.

 

And you did all of this how...by nc?

[AlexanderJames]

I don't really know how to explain it. I really didnt do that much myself to get here..

I'll link a few threads I've started since joining LS if you want to have a read and see what I've been through.

 

To be honest I joined up here asking for help because I felt I had opened up and given 110% to my ex to make things right with her and she had played me just to hurt me back for hurting her.

Everyone told me to start up NC and stick to it. So I did.

I was pretty strong with NC but my story is on a pretty small scale to a lot of other people on here, with progress happening week by week when in some cases it can take months and months. But it still shows what to expect and all that.

 

I went weeks without contacting my ex, because I truly wanted to move on and I truly believed she only wanted to bring me down. I ignored attempts to contact me and only broke NC a couple of times because it was unavoidable. But I found as time went by I was happier, stronger and enjoying life without her. I was thinking about her a lot less and I was even finding myself interested in other women. And maybe thats what brought her knocking on my door again who knows. All up it was about a month of wanting to maintain NC and actually wanting to live a life without her before I found myself where I am today.

 

It wasn't until she came over to sign those papers (still with me having no intentions of chasing her or anything) and seeing her freak out and leave so quickly that I thought "maybe everything isn't as it seems here". And now she's got me believing it isn't. So I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

 

The point I'm trying to make was I didnt get here because I set out to get here. I made big steps towards moving on and letting go. This just kind of fell in my lap. I set out to move on and be happy again, and through strength and perserverence, and the support of members here, I was finding hapiness in independance and life on my own. Whether it was seeing this that has sparked a momentary interest from my ex or if she's genuinely interested again I don't know. But whether this brings a fresh start or not I know I can always just come back here, read all my threads of what I felt and how I managed the first time and be well on my way to hapiness again.

 

If you feel like going NC, do it to let go forever. There will be hope that it brings him back at first there always is and we cant just switch this off. But in time and with strength the bad feelings, sickness, sadness and hope for reconciliation all fade. I promise. There's a chance it will bring him knocking like my ex has, but whether or not its serious interest or cuirosity is unknown, and its a head**** let me tell you

But there's always the added possability that he comes knocking and you've moved on to bigger and better things.

 

Here's a few of my earlier threads while I was set on letting go. Some of them are long though. Correction most haha. But if your considering letting go and feel like a bit of light reading you'll see how it starts off and then the whole thing gets turned upside down as time goes by.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/330713-lesser-two-evils - Thats my first thread. More of a journal haha. But it tell's everything you need to know about me and her leading up to my heartache.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331427-nc-getting-tough-people-need-tell-me-im-idiot-something - That's my first struggle with NC.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331666-what-do-people-think - After sticking to NC and working passed the ****ty worthless feelings that come in the early days.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331841-what-waste-time - Her first little attempt to break NC.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/331927-alexanders-latest-challenge-ncs-apparent-impact-his-ex - How I felt afterwards when I stayed strong with NC and ignored her.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/332066-im-having-bad-day-happens-us-all - Feeling s*** the days after I ignored her.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/332613-alexanderjames-still-moving-forward-sort - Just an update. Taking the good with the bad while sticking to NC.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/332807-youre-kidding-right-dafuq - This thread has another attempt at her to break NC. And I contact her. Comment #11 is where it starts from me calling her.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/332751-hope-im-not-going-backwards-here - This is a little thread I posted a few days after b****ing because I was feeling a little blue.

 

That's pretty much the important or interesting threads telling my journey from start to where I am now. There will be more threads too I'm sure, depending on tomorrow night.

[Samilia]

No green jeep Aw.

 

Sure tell us more about what happened.

 

Nop

 

What happened is that he started texting me "I miss you", blah blah.. and what happened then is that my sis died.. I took a huge blow, I was walking on the parking lot, I had just informed my employer that i wouldn't be here that day, I was.. I don't know.. crushed. I saw him in his car and asked him for a ride.

 

That's how we got talking again and hanging out a little, last hang out being last night when he offered me a ride to the store and made a few sexual teasing remarks. I usually get by just fine on my own, I don't know why I accepted, someone to talk to I guess, he's been super nice with me.

 

Anyway, here is the copy of my conversation, I sent that when I got home, after a text of him talking about another girl, easier than typing

 

Sam

You know you talk about friendship and give me 2 min hugs and try to bring other girls up in our conversations, so what's up?

 

Ex

you know i miss ya.

just easier to keep the friendship for now. maybe things will change in the future

 

Sam

Ah, see I don't like being lead on with "things might change", I'm not the girl to be put on the back burner in case you don't find better. And I'm not the **** buddy type of girl either.

 

Ex

i know, never said you were

the only reason we are not together now is because we both decided to go our separate ways. im not going to try to force us back together again. i can do just friends if you like. doesnt mean i wont tease you once in a while

 

This morning, after sleeping on the whole thing.

Sam

I asked you not to share my private life at work, I can tell you're giving people too much info, I'd like you not to. Nobody needs to know why, they only need to know it's mutual and that's it, if they need to know anything at all. My life is just that, mine.

 

As for which girl tells you this or that, it's none of my business, if you're seeking an ego boost based on my reaction, please don't. We are however at work and I need you to respect me through your actions as well.

 

I have enough on my plate at the moment without adding to it. I want to live serenely and mourn my sister in peace. I need to be able to get up and go to work in the morning without any new worries.

 

I understand that you're bored, I understand that you miss me because you're not used to being without me, for now. However, I'm not a place holder, I don't plan on waiting to slowly fade away once you find someone.

 

Ex

To be honest i have not said much. There are people asking me how you are doing which means they do not even know we are appart

 

And this is true, I have too much on my plate right now to worry about anything. I miss my sis, and that's all. I look at the horizon and she's not there anymore on the other side of the ocean, I don't have room in my heart for games.

Edited July 12, 2012 by Samilia

[whoknows11]

Honestly, im no expert at all. Im going through a real rough spot myself. But from everything ive read id say it like i said before. Theres gotta be something there still. She could be missing you, or uncovering those feelings. Your in a great spot believe it or not man. Just continue to take it easy. Your doing what you can. Like what you once told me. Rome wasnt built in a day. Maybe friday could explain alot. Youll know signs that she wants you again. Cause no one knows her better then you on here. (no offense anyone). But i hope things go well with you two.

[AlexanderJames]

Im so sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

Trying to deal with your ex while mourning such a tragic loss will be almost impossible.

Take some time to yourself to deal with your loss. Let him be there for you if he wants, but more importantly if you can handle it. Just make sure he knows not to make it about the two of you, and that he's being there to support you through such a difficult time.

[Samilia]

Im so sorry to hear about your sister. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

Trying to deal with your ex while mourning such a tragic loss will be almost impossible.

Take some time to yourself to deal with your loss. Let him be there for you if he wants, but more importantly if you can handle it. Just make sure he knows not to make it about the two of you, and that he's being there to support you through such a difficult time.

 

No, I don't need the games that would come with his company. That's the thing. I don't need any of it. "friends for now" wtf, are we 12?

I want to be left alone.

[AlexanderJames]

Honestly, im no expert at all. Im going through a real rough spot myself. But from everything ive read id say it like i said before. Theres gotta be something there still. She could be missing you, or uncovering those feelings. Your in a great spot believe it or not man. Just continue to take it easy. Your doing what you can. Like what you once told me. Rome wasnt built in a day. Maybe friday could explain alot. Youll know signs that she wants you again. Cause no one knows her better then you on here. (no offense anyone). But i hope things go well with you two.

 

 

Thanks for the encouragement mate. And I hope your hanging in there okay yourself.

I'm taking it easy like you said. I figure come friday if we go out I have to ask her where she want's it to lead, I cant stand this much longer.

But it's safe to say that if theres any intentions for her to revisit "us" then bringing it up friday won't do any harm. If she wants something to happen she will make something happen. And if she doesnt then nothing I do will change that.

 

Just gotta keep pressing on like nothing is going to happen. I might still be in for a suprise.

[AlexanderJames]

Well you know what you want Sam that's great.

 

More than can be said for a lot of people on here. Myself included for the time being.

If he get's in touch, tell him to leave you alone.

We cant stop people talking to others about us. But at the end of the day who cares what any of them say or hear? They arent important to us, and if they are then they're not going to listen or judge based on what they are told in heresay

[Samilia]

Well you know what you want Sam that's great.

 

More than can be said for a lot of people on here. Myself included for the time being.

If he get's in touch, tell him to leave you alone.

We cant stop people talking to others about us. But at the end of the day who cares what any of them say or hear? They arent important to us, and if they are then they're not going to listen or judge based on what they are told in heresay

 

I'm a private person at work, I don't talk much about myself, but a very few people. I dislike gossips, I dislike people with no life whose only intent is to spread mud on everybody else.

 

Anyway, we are still in talking term, I just want to keep my distance, it's not gonna go anywhere, I dont have time or the energy for it.

[whoknows11]

Thanks for the encouragement mate. And I hope your hanging in there okay yourself.

I'm taking it easy like you said. I figure come friday if we go out I have to ask her where she want's it to lead, I cant stand this much longer.

But it's safe to say that if theres any intentions for her to revisit "us" then bringing it up friday won't do any harm. If she wants something to happen she will make something happen. And if she doesnt then nothing I do will change that.

 

Just gotta keep pressing on like nothing is going to happen. I might still be in for a suprise.

 

Actually i havent been so well. I started talking to my ex again. I initiated it unfortunately. But ive been casual about everything and am not pouring my heart out or anything. But i feel im just gonna be hurt/let down. Im just pessimistc about it. I just really want her back honestly. But its not up to me. As for you, your doing the right thing by taking it easy. Its good to have the talk with her. You dont wanna keep it dragging on. So its now or never to talk about it. Friday should be a big day.

[AlexanderJames]

Sam - I hate those people too don't worry. I don't even understand how someone can get kicks from that kind of ****.

 

Whoknows - Sorry to hear. It's never easy talking to your ex when you still have feelings for them but dont know where they stand.. It's actually the worst thing I've been through so far.

It's not up to me either, I don't think. I've had a couple of thoughts today along the lines of "Maybe I should have the talk, but tell her nothing can happen if she says she want's me back". But I know I want her back, this is just me mentally preparing myself for everything. Todays been crap though, mornings are by far the worst. And I'm sick of listening to my playlists so I put radio on, but radio is full of songs we dont want to hear. Everythings bout love, or finding love, or earning love back.... I've started remenissing again on the past with her. That need's to stop.

 

Friday will be big indeed. And you'll all be the first to hear of the outcome dont worry..

[Samilia]

You better, I live here now.

[AlexanderJames]

Haha me too really

 

Im going to make a prediction okay. It's the night before we go to the movies.

Im calling it now, she's gonna bail tonight. Probably when im headed to the gym. If she does I hope it's as I'm headed there like last time so I can lift the rage out haha.

 

If she bails it's curtains tho. I'm gonna reply with "Okay no problems where are you now? I'll bring you your scarf"

If she's unavailable I'll put it over her front door or something. Or in her letterbox..

And then Ill be back to step one of NC again haha yay.

 

Well that might not be the case but I'm calling it now haha.

Let's see if it's roger or myself that gets it right. I hope its roger haha.

[Samilia]

Haha me too really

 

Im going to make a prediction okay. It's the night before we go to the movies.

Im calling it now, she's gonna bail tonight. Probably when im headed to the gym. If she does I hope it's as I'm headed there like last time so I can lift the rage out haha.

 

If she bails it's curtains tho. I'm gonna reply with "Okay no problems where are you now? I'll bring you your scarf"

If she's unavailable I'll put it over her front door or something. Or in her letterbox..

And then Ill be back to step one of NC again haha yay.

 

Well that might not be the case but I'm calling it now haha.

Let's see if it's roger or myself that gets it right. I hope its roger haha.

 

mmmmh a new fresh relationship seems appealing all of the sudden.

[AlexanderJames]

What do you mean?

[Samilia]

What do you mean?

 

That maybe a new relationship would relieve you of all the drama and stress brought by the old one. I hate to see you wondering about the outcome of your date.

[AlexanderJames]

Yeah I often think of the prospects of something new and exciting.

Don't know what draws me to my ex so much. As shallow as this sounds she is so beautiful and we connected on physical levels in ways I never had before.

 

Just got a txt from her

"Hey Alex. Can you help me with something pleaseee? :)"

I replied with "what's up?". Curious...

[livelife]

Yeah I often think of the prospects of something new and exciting.

Don't know what draws me to my ex so much. As shallow as this sounds she is so beautiful and we connected on physical levels in ways I never had before.

 

Just got a txt from her

"Hey Alex. Can you help me with something pleaseee? :)"

I replied with "what's up?". Curious...

 

very curious. Keep me posted.

[AlexanderJames]

"Im advertising my car for sale but not really sure what to write bout it.....could u help me tomorrow please? :)"

 

What should I do? Or say? Haha.

This is opening up the door for me to spend more time either at my house or hers after the movie? Is she just using me? Surely she can get someone else to describe her car in an advertisement she doesn't need me? What do we think?

[DMS]

Hey Alex, sorry I am late to the party but it seems like you have alot of good advice here. I agree completely with putting the decision on her. After all it was her choice to go and she had no problem making that clear so if she really wants to try again she will make it a priority. If not then she is playing a game and you have your answer. I do hope however that you get the second chance so many of us would like to have, if that is truly what you want.