Stuck in a triangle!

[girlquitenice]

Hi everyone..

 

Iam 21 years old... I met this guy( will be mentioned as S) at orkut... we became friends... there were a lot of things in common and we enjoyed each other's company..After a while we exchanged phone numbers..Eventually, we met and became great friends...

 

After a year, S said he loves me and if i would be his girlfriend.. He was very sweet and seemed to speak his heart... I said 'yes' as I loved him too... But after this i realized something was not right.. He was not like he used to be..He seemed to be very detached at times and he would get irritated very easily.. At other times, he would keep calling me to just say that he loves me very much..

Sometimes he even said it wasn't love and he liked me so much that he could only put it that way and that his affection for me was platonic.. These words from him hurt me immensely and I wouldn't call him.. After a day or two, he would call me back and say he didn't mean what he said.. Things would then return to normal for some time.. Eventually the same thing will happen all over again and I started asking him if he really loved me! He would try to evade this question as much as possible but if i pestered him for an answer, he would say "Don't push me or I'll say no".. This would hurt me like anything..

 

Finally, one day he said he has a girlfriend and that he tried breaking up with her but she wouldn't let go of him.. He is practically funding her through her college and is taking care of all her other expenses.. He said he wants to bail out of this relationship he has with her..However, he would fund her until she can take care of herself.. She is not ready to let go of him and he doesn't want to hurt her..

 

He keeps saying she is so dependent on him and hat she wouldn't survive without him.. He says that is the reason he cannot hurt her...

 

However, he takes really good care of me when i am with him...He is so protective of me.. He buys me gifts and stuff... He confides in me... He tells me everything (including things he would never mention to her).. He always supports me and most importantly, he is always there for me whenever I need him..

 

We have only kissed and have not had anything beyond that physically... But he has had sex with her... All I can say is, he is the best guy I have ever known...

 

Now Iam desperately in love with him and I don't want to let go of him either.. I am so confused..

 

Please tell me your perceptions...Even now when we meet, he kisses me.. Why would he do that?? Will he ever leave her for me?? Or should I stop waiting for him and move on???

 

PLEASE HELP PEOPLE!!!

[whichwayisup]

Move on. You deserve better and this guy won't end things with his gf because he doesn't want to. He will have you in his life as a side dish for as long as you stay with him.

 

Don't believe every single word he tells you about his gf and their relationship.

 

People DO break up if they truly want to. He obviously doesn't want to.

 

I say, RUN. Find someone else who is single and available, someone you don't have to share.

[skywriter]

The first thing that stands out is that you are only 21 yrs old. How old is S?

 

The next thing that strikes me is, you talk as if a year is such a long time and have already exchanged the "L", word. WOW!

 

Then there is the way you cling to what he says as the gospel. And please stop feeding your brain that you are desperatly in love with him. UGH!

 

You say how, "he says", words are just that without any actions. Please, realise this, keep it at the forefront of your mind when, "he says".

 

All this, he takes really good care of you and buys you things. It's grooming you, you are his conquest right now. It's exciting for him, and a huge ego feed. You are young and gullible.

 

....And most of all, please always keep in mind, there is his truth, his girlfriends truth and then there is the truth.

 

Put yourself in his girlfriends shoes for a moment and think of how you'd feel, not having a clue he was out playing the field. Consider that if he'd do it to her, then he could do it to you.

[Quiet Storm]

All I can say is, he is the best guy I have ever known...

 

 

 

If this is true, than you need to meet more men.

 

He is a liar and a cheater.

 

You can't just judge someone by the way they treat you. You have to look at the choices they make in life and how they treat others. He seems like a generous guy, paying for his GF school, buying you gifts, but look how he is handling this situation: 1) if what he is telling you is true (doubtful) than he is a conflict avoider and a liar. He is a coward and is coping with his problems by cheating instead of facing them 2) the other & more likely scenario is that things are a little stale with his GF and he wants to enhance his romantic life- with no regard for the feelings of his GF or you. This is very selfish of him.

 

Either way, this would not be a good partner for you.

 

It is naive to assume that because he gives you attention and kisses you that he is only interested in you. It is not an either/or scenario for many men, like it usually is with us women. He wants both of you.