What is so wrong with wanting a woman that treats you well

[Badsingularity]

Nothing is wrong with wanting that.

[Woggle]

No, I don't. And it wouldn't be a bad thing if she were, if that is what she is happy doing and what you want.

 

My personal opinion is that she sounds like a woman who loves you and wants to be with you. You deserve to be happy, Woggle. If only you would let go and allow yourself to be. From what I've seen, nearly everything posted on the forums is just somone else's opinion. They are not right or wrong in and of themselves. You can, however, agree with them or not. But it would be disingenious to post as though your situation were much worse than it is. Within the rules of the forum, you can do that, if you so wish, but you'd lose a lot of credibility and you'd just be stuck in the same bitter cycle. Can you really continue like this for years without moving forward and appreciating the life that you have?

 

Instead, how about using your experience of rising from the ashes to help and advise other guys who are not so fortunate? Now that really would be something!

 

I just keep waiting for the shoe to drop. She almost seems too good to be true.

[anne1707]

I just keep waiting for the shoe to drop. She almost seems too good to be true.

 

I think that is possibly the worst thing I have seen you post Woggle. You don't even give your wife credit for being a good woman, you see it as a facade.

[El Brujo]

Man oh man... from all the petty spite I'm seeing in this thread, some of you people need to stop posting on LS and start your own blogs instead. That way, at least you can always be right and yank comments posted by people who don't agree with you.

 

OTOH maybe the world doesn't need another Perez Hilton...

[mn311601]

Don't you know men are supposed to be miserable?

[carhill]

Hen-pecked was the term used in my parent's generation. I always had this

of a hen pecking at a rock. Edited July 6, 2012 by carhill

[Woggle]

I just wonder why I shouldn't take comments from a mainstream source seriously. I just get so disillusioned and sometimes I wonder if I married the kind of woman that other women call a stepford wife. I have had a few coworkers and others refer to her as such because I said she would never cheat on me.

[january2011]

Because your own life is a testament to how wrong that mainstream source is.

 

A woman who is true to herself and her man is to be much admired. Sometimes people say the most tactless and stupid things for the sake of making conversation. I'm guilty of it myself.

 

With all due respect, your coworkers and those others are talking out of their *ss. Your wife treats you well and is faithful. That is a blessing and to be applauded not derided. It is unfortunate that this is the case, because in my book, it should be the basic standard for all marriages that both partners treat each other well and remain faithful and not an ideal that may be difficult to reach for most.

[Woggle]

I know but it just gets to me how most women are so hateful that they think simply treating the man you married how makes you a doormat.

[xxoo]

I just wonder why I shouldn't take comments from a mainstream source seriously.

 

Mainstream doesn't mean it is serious journalism. Mainstream is often sensationalism. People magazine is mainstream. The Daily Mail is about the same quality as People Magazine, I'd say.

 

The comments reflect the readers--and often the most rabid readers. The ones who feel the most extreme, and have the least life

 

I just get so disillusioned and sometimes I wonder if I married the kind of woman that other women call a stepford wife. I have had a few coworkers and others refer to her as such because I said she would never cheat on me.

 

I am the kind of wife that someone less trusting of men might call "stepford". I don't care what those women say or think (I don't respect their opinion anyway). But I'd be deeply hurt if my H let their opinion shape his opinion of me

 

Again, why do you care what they think? You didn't marry them, and you don't respect them. You are allowing them far more mindspace than they deserve.

[xxoo]

I know but it just gets to me how most women are so hateful that they think simply treating the man you married how makes you a doormat.

 

It gets to me, too, when I read hateful men saying similar things.

 

Then I realize that those guys aren't my problem, and get on with enjoying my blessed life

[Woggle]

Because I admit when it seems that most women do feel this way that it makes me not so trusting of the female gender.

[WeAllMightBeNuts]

They are emulating what they think are the worst male stereotypes in the name of empowerment. I also read a Daily Mail article where some women in the comments were actually praising a woman who falsely accused her ex of abusing.

 

 

I have seen this personally twice with people I know. Didn't want to believe it either. Still have a hard time believing it to tell you the truth.

[january2011]

It gets to me, too, when I read hateful men saying similar things.

 

Then I realize that those guys aren't my problem, and get on with enjoying my blessed life

 

Ditto, xxoo. When I read really hateful things, it does sometimes upset me for a moment. Then I remember that I don't know anyone like that in real life. And count my blessings.

 

Yes, Daily Mail is known for it's sensationalism. Many of the readers of its print edition tend to be middle-England types:

 

Middle England - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

The DM plays to this mindset of hating on everyone. And they don't do an awful lot to moderate the hateful comments posted in response to their online articles - unless it's a litigious celebrity who has a lot of money to spend on lawyers.

 

What's "funny" is that middle-england types tend to support traditional gender roles for men and women...

[KR10N]

I would assume most reasonable women want a man that treats them well and doesn't constantly put them down or make snide remarks or verbally abuse so why is it wrong for men to want the same in a woman?

 

Why is it that when men say they want a woman who respects them and is loving we are accused of wanting a slave or wanting a stepford or being afraid of strong women. Are we supposed to want nasty and mean women who treat us like crap in order to not be accused of being misogynists?

No way! I don't like being mean for the sake of being mean, and I don't like that quality in others. I want a man w/ a personality similar to mine. I like laughter in my life, so he better enjoy laughing too... a lot!

 

I want to enjoy my life w/ someone, not be miserable and I'd want them to feel the same.

[Woggle]

I remember once my mother told me that my current wife doesn't have the guts to do what my ex did. Why would a woman even want to do what she did.

[KR10N]

I remember once my mother told me that my current wife doesn't have the guts to do what my ex did. Why would a woman even want to do what she did.

What did she do? If you don't mind me asking?

[Woggle]

What did she do? If you don't mind me asking?

 

Cheated on me with at least 40 guys

Tried to shoot me

Held knives to my throat.

 

This is what is considered a strong woman.

[WeAllMightBeNuts]

To answer your question:

 

There is not only nothing wrong with wanting a woman that treats you well, there nothing wrong with expecting a woman to treat you well.

 

It should be a given.

[january2011]

Cheated on me with at least 40 guys

Tried to shoot me

Held knives to my throat.

 

This is what is considered a strong woman.

 

No, this is what is considered an emotionally unstable and destructive member of society. And definitely not a woman who treats a man well.

 

I don't think much of your mother's opinion. Sorry, Woggle. It doesn't sound like she treated you well either.

 

But your wife does. And she's the woman you're with today.

[KR10N]

Cheated on me with at least 40 guys

Tried to shoot me

Held knives to my throat.

 

This is what is considered a strong woman.

That is not a strong woman: emotionally or physically. That's just pure psychotic!

[bentnotbroken]

My husband cheated on me for most of my marriage (20 + years). He brought one OW that I know of into my home and my bed. He abused me emotionally and mentally for most of our marriage. He helped me drink myself into oblivion and pushed me to the brink of suicide. He told me daily what a slow, lazy human being I was despite the fact I did the work inside and outside our home. He exposed me to STD's and not too stable AP. He hid monies and tried to force me out of my home.

 

I grew up in the house with a father who loved me but was an alcoholic. There were times when our lives were a living hell. We had to physically fight him at times. I love and miss my dad to this day. :( When he became sober he was one of the best men I knew. He apologized for his past behavior and asked for our forgiveness. He helped to raise four feminist..two male and two female. He and our mother didn't believe in male/female jobs. They believed we were all capable of being what we desired and we should all be taught to care for ourselves without expecting a spouse to do something we weren't capable of doing.

 

 

I have every reason to mistrust and disrespect men...yet I do not have that right. I read what some men say here and thank God I know that isn't every man or even a majority of men. I realize that there will always be people who will blame an entire group for their troubles and always look for a reason to hate(yes, that is what it is deep down) that group. Whether that hatred is based on race, age, culture or sex...there will be people who have such a deep seeded dislike for who they really are at their core that they will only see the worst of themselves in others. When you look for shyt in your lives...you will step in it regularly.

 

Even when you(general you) have been blessed with the gift of love and respect the twisted up knotted pit within you won't allow that love to grow and flourish. I don't hate men...never will. God blessed me with brothers, uncles, a father, a son and many male friends who have shown me some not so great parts of themselves along with the wonderful "MAN" heart they all possess. They are human they will make mistakes as will I. There are so many people who have been trampled over by life. They are in both genders, all races, religions and cultures...yet they survive with the humanity in tack and their capability to respect and love at full strength. They don't bemoan daily that "all these" or "all those" are "this" or "that".

 

In our weakness we sometimes say and do things that hurt others, but those actions belong to the individual perpetrator and not the entire group. It upsets me....no it pisses me off that I am (and my sisters, my mother, my grandmother and daughter) lumped into groups when one of that group does something worthy of having a foot shoved up their azz and broke off somewhere around their navel but the group won't get credit for the things I do right. Funny how that crap works.

[bentnotbroken]

Isn't it interesting that this fact, and it is a fact, has been overlooked without any thought given to it? Not one person has addressed what myself and you have brought up.

 

So instead, we'll just beat up on woggle because this type of thing is so rare it just ever heard of. It's a figment, something that only exists outside the realm of reality.

 

I'll tell you what. When you women have dated enough women that we have, then, and only then will you have any clue as to what really goes on out there.

 

But it's easier to just bash woggle isn't it?

 

 

Actually there is no need to bash Wogs...he does a pretty good job of bashing his own head against a brick wall. He looks for the wall to run into daily.

[bentnotbroken]

That wall exists, have you ever seen it? No, of course you haven't.

 

You still want to bash him some more?

 

 

You cannot find any bashing I have done to woggle. But if you see something because of your perception...so be it.

[bentnotbroken]

My apologies, you mocked him.

 

Tell me about your experiences dating women, I am curious as to your thoughts on the topic. What has it been like for you?

 

 

Right after you tell me what your experience is of abuse by men. My post stands. Good night.