What is so wrong with wanting a woman that treats you well

[anne1707]

It's not the tabloids but the responses to the articles.

 

Which by default come from readers and therefore supporters of the site.

 

Woggle - to put it bluntly, I would not even wipe my """" with something like the Daily Mail which you so often quote. I would not want to soil myself with something so offensive, cheap and trashy.

 

Stop taking exceptions as the rule, please!

[Anela]

How many of the responses to those articles do you think are trolls? I don't know any woman who actively hates men. I loathe two, for good reasons. Other than that, I don't hate you, and don't want to see you or anyone else suffer. Hell, even though I loathe those two men, I wouldn't revel in their suffering, either.

[SpiralOut]

 

Why is it that when men say they want a woman who respects them and is loving we are accused of wanting a slave or wanting a stepford or being afraid of strong women. ?

 

I'm guessing the women who say this are the ones who were mistreated by men in the past. They misinterpret what you say because they are looking for red flags, being fearful of dating yet another douchebag.

 

That said, men should be very careful of the way they talk about women to women. I went on a date with a man who kept complaining about women who brag about being independent. Although I sort of saw where he was coming from, it still rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not saying that you're like that. Just putting it out there as general advice for whatever men are reading this...

[threebyfate]

Woggle, can you clearly define being well treated? Most of your threads meander around and around, golden opportunities to slag women, since everyone's debating based on different premises.

 

Is it bigger than a breadbox or smaller than an atom?

[Woggle]

Being well treated like a man the way a woman want to be treated. It's treating like you actually love and care about him instead acting like you want to murder him all the time. What is so wrong with that?

[threebyfate]

Being well treated like a man the way a woman want to be treated.

How do women want to be treated?

 

It's treating like you actually love and care about him instead acting like you want to murder him all the time.

Provide copious examples of all or most women treating men like they want to murder them. Your assumptions are ludicrous.

 

What is so wrong with that?

Answer my above two questions..clearly...without mind-effery.

[Woggle]

I answered it clearly.

 

Be faithful

Do nice things for each other

Don't trash everything about him and don't berate him in public

 

I see women in public who obviously have such contempt for their husbands and boyfriends and I don't want to end up like those men.

[threebyfate]

I answered it clearly.

 

Be faithful

Do nice things for each other

Don't trash everything about him and don't berate him in public

 

I see women in public who obviously have such contempt for their husbands and boyfriends and I don't want to end up like those men.

No proof. As usual. Just more female slagging. Same old, same old garbage.

[Woggle]

No proof. As usual. Just more female slagging. Same old, same old garbage.

 

I gave examples of how couples should treat each other.

[threebyfate]

Provide copious examples of all or most women treating men like they want to murder them. Your assumptions are ludicrous.

 

I gave examples of how couples should treat each other.

Refer to above.

[Woggle]

Refer to above.

 

Listen to a group of married women or women in relationships and see what they say.

[threebyfate]

Listen to a group of married women or women in relationships and see what they say.

Time for me to split since you're in a totally irrational frame of mind. Saying the same shyte over and over again, doesn't make it any less cow patty untrue as the first time it was stated.

[Woggle]

Time for me to split since you're in a totally irrational frame of mind. Saying the same shyte over and over again, doesn't make it any less cow patty untrue as the first time it was stated.

 

It's the truth. Have you ever listened when women were talking about their men?

[Trimmer]

Being well treated like a man the way a woman want to be treated. It's treating like you actually love and care about him instead acting like you want to murder him all the time. What is so wrong with that?

Isn't this a straw man scemario? The OP presents a reasonable assertion "treating like you actually love and care about him..." that virtually ANYONE of any gender can agree wtih, and then disingenuously asks a straw man question which assumes this assertion is being attacked: "What is so wrong with that?"

 

So in order to stay "on topic", the whole discussion has to revolve around the inflammatory straw man.

 

I decline to participate. If that is the "topic" we are supposed to be staying on, then it's fruitless. It's actually a good example of how to intentinally inflame an argument and turn people against each other. Which is great, if you feed on hostility, drama, and negativity.

 

Woggle, I hope that some day, somehow, you get some kind of help that can change your life for the better, and save your marriage for the long run.

[Woggle]

It should be a simple concept but many people in society think this makes somebody a stepford wife or a doormat.

[A O]

Being well treated like a man the way a woman want to be treated. It's treating like you actually love and care about him instead acting like you want to murder him all the time. What is so wrong with that?

There is a difference between wanting to be treated well, basically being treated respectfully and wanting to be respected for being a man. The latter is contingent on certain gender stereotypical roles (being a good provider, leader, protector for example) while the former, well, that’s a genderless requirement which heavily relies on the individual and their ability to screen out those who do not view/treat them in the manner they require as it is does with the person or persons interacting/relating with the individual.

 

In short, it matters not how others behave as much as it matters that you possess the ability to screen out those that behave in a manner that doesn’t gel with you.

 

It should be a simple concept but many people in society think this makes somebody a stepford wife or a doormat.

Problem with doormats, they care more for what others think of them than they do for their own thoughts. That aside, and to take a guess - your interactions or what you read about most are the actions of a subset of women known chiefly for their low levels of self-esteem. Because of their disposition, because they care little for themselves they also tend to care very little for others. Any guy who attempts to care for them comes across as a doofus head to them, their typical thought process being - how can he possible care for me when I don't care much for myself anyway. Therefore, he's dumber than even I am so I'm gonna treat him as such! Again, we're talking about a subset of women, most women on the other hand - love to love and care for the men in their lives. But again, the bigger point here is that it doesn't matter what others are like as much as it matters that you/we possess the ability to deal with them in a manner that's acceptable to us.

[xxoo]

It should be a simple concept but many people in society think this makes somebody a stepford wife or a doormat.

 

Many? Maybe by numbers, because our society is huge--but by percentage? Not many at all. Rare point of view.

 

"Many" women believe they should be subservient to their husbands, as a "helpmeet" rather than equal partner, even though equality is a simply concept. Do you get as worked up about them?

[Woggle]

Many? Maybe by numbers, because our society is huge--but by percentage? Not many at all. Rare point of view.

 

"Many" women believe they should be subservient to their husbands, as a "helpmeet" rather than equal partner, even though equality is a simply concept. Do you get as worked up about them?

 

I don't agree that either but there are many women who think that simply being loving, kind and faithful to a man makes a woman subservient.

 

I am just so tired and sick of it all. I really am. It wears on me.

[A O]

I don't agree that either but there are many women who think that simply being loving, kind and faithful to a man makes a woman subservient.

Again, this isn't something I haven't come across save for certain types of feminists.

 

I am just so tired and sick of it all. I really am. It wears on me.

You're wearing yourself out Woggle. Forever searching or forever susceptible to certain negative types will wear down anyone. You're your own worst enemy on this score.

[Woggle]

Maybe I am but I will not be the victim I used to be and for that reason I have to remain vigilant. Nice guys get walked all over. At least I know I will never be treated the way I was ever again.

[Woggle]

Also how would people here react if I were a woman? Would they be so quick to tell me to drop my guard and leave myself vulnerable to be played again?

[Anela]

Also how would people here react if I were a woman? Would they be so quick to tell me to drop my guard and leave myself vulnerable to be played again?

 

But you're married, and she hasn't done this to you, has she? I can understand certain concerns that might come up for anyone, but are you really expecting her to pull a gun out on you at some point? Have you been treated for PTSD? I haven't, but I was told that it was most likely the precursor for me, when it comes to my own anxiety - I have these triggers, too, so I sort of understand. You chose to marry your wife, though. You trusted her enough to put that ring on her finger, and join your life with hers. Has she done anything to prove to you that you should no longer trust her?

[Woggle]

I know I chose to marry but even then I didn't realize how much many women just hated men. How do I know that one day somebody will get in her head and convince her to cheat on me or leave me?

 

Is it really all in my head that women hate men this much?

[A O]

Maybe I am but I will not be the victim I used to be and for that reason I have to remain vigilant. Nice guys get walked all over. At least I know I will never be treated the way I was ever again.

You are still a victim Woggle, you still think/act like a victim. You are still a victim because you still let your past experiences determine how you see the world. Victims focus far too much on the external, on the ills of the world and this focus determines how they interact with their environment. Non victims focus internally and work out what is best needed to help them cope with whatever the world throws their way. Your vigilance needs to start with yourself Woggle. Its great that you're no longer allowing yourself to be pushed around but you now need to stop letting those past experiences cloud your judgement.

 

Also how would people here react if I were a woman? Would they be so quick to tell me to drop my guard and leave myself vulnerable to be played again?

This is immaterial. You've had some bad experiences, that's unfortunate, but the ball is in your court regarding whether you wish to learn and grow or learn and wallow.

 

How do I know that one day somebody will get in her head and convince her to cheat on me or leave me?

You don't but if you have a reasonable amount of self esteem then you'd know that this would be her loss, as much, if not more than hers. Bottom line is that this is one of life's many hurdles. Some of us learn to roll with the punches, others, well, they can get help to learn to do the same.

 

Is it really all in my head that women hate men this much?

It appears to be how you see the world, hence, it shouldn't matter what others think of it. Personally I haven't seen anything remotely approaching your view but again, my view should matter diddly squat to you as your view matters little to me. The underlying theme, that you can hold such negative views of people however, I do commiserate greatly with you over.

[Mme. Chaucer]

What a sick train wreck.