gay best friend told me he loved me..

[xdxb]

tonight was a weird night. i was hanging out with my bestie, we've been hanging out a lot this past week since i'm in town. we always have a great time together because we get crazy and loud.. and i've noticed a few small things over the time that i've known him..i almost feel like he tried to make me jealous a few times but then i would remind myself he's gay...

 

anyways, so tonite, we drove out of town for a sponatenous trip and throughout the night he was like lets make out lets make out and i told him no that'd be weird! and he was like i want to bone you (we're really goofy around eachother) and i was like yeah i bet you do! haha then i told him i was going to be celibate because of this last guy i dated "casually" and i don't want to be in that type of situation again..plus im not completely over that guy. anyways, i told him i'd only have sex if im in love like 2 days ago...today, i thought it was odd because he said he loved me. like i said we joke around a lot and i said i love you too and we left it at that.

 

he's never officially came out to me but he has told me stories about guys he's been with, etc... the thing is right when i felt him hinting toward us being together or whatever i immediately felt a barrier inside myself strike faster than lightning.. i think i'm really weird when it comes to dating.. once i find out a guy likes me i make him jump through so many hoops subconsciously and i have a very strong wall up. it even flared up with my best friend who i can tell anything to and always have a great time with..

 

so yes, there's my situation. any advice?

 

also, i'm trying this thing where i don't play games with men (like subconsciously making them jump through hoops) so i'm trying to be more honest. i've deleted a lot of guys numbers in my phones that it hasn't worked out with... most of the time it ends up with me being friendly and them interpreting it as i'm available as a BOOTYCALL/jumpoff although when i sense this i immediately tell them off.. anyways. thanks for taking the time to read this!