USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 So dating generalizations and stereotypes are thrown around every day on LS...and it amazes me how offended some folks get when a generalization is made that may apply to their gender, age group, race, etc....when they see such generalizations, they instantly go into man/women-hater mode... Why do people get offended by a dating generalization or stereotype? One of two things will happen: (1) The generalization actually holds true for you. So why get upset if someone makes an accurate assessment of you? Do you perceive it to be a flaw that you do not want to be called out on? What justification do you have to be upset? (2) The generalization does not hold true for you, or you do not perceive it to hold true. So why do you get upset if someone falsely generalizes or stereotypes you? Based on the recent "myth of confidence" thread, wouldn't your reaction imply a lack of confidence? You supposedly are "confident" that the stereotype doesn't apply to you, so why does it cause a reaction? Is it because the stereotype actually does apply to you and you don't want to admit it for sake of your "confidence"? Or is it that you don't actually have "confidence" and are being manipulated by external validation (or invalidation, whatever the case may be)? Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) This means we should throw 99% of scientific theories out the window. I agree and we should replace them with my theories. Maybe just call them laws while we are at it. I hate being so smart. I'm so smart that I know that I'm dumb. It's normal human behaviour to defend yourself when someone includes you when describing something your not. Do you agree with the statement that all men are jerks. I'm sure when you've seen this before you atleast thought to yourself " Hey I'm not a jerk." the fact that you disagree doesn't make it true about you. Edited July 8, 2012 by Badsingularity 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 It's normal human behaviour to defend yourself when someone includes you when desribing something your not. But according to the confidence thread, "confident" people are said to not be affected at all by external validation/invalidation...so what would incite them to defend themselves if they aren't affected? Just a lot of contradictory statements made... Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 But according to the confidence thread, "confident" people are said to not be affected at all by external validation/invalidation...so what would incite them to defend themselves if they aren't affected? Just a lot of contradictory statements made... If I'm out and about and a woman calls me ugly, stupid, or something else I don't agree with. I don't try to defend myself. I know who I am. It would just be a waste of my time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 If I'm out and about and a woman calls me ugly, stupid, or something else I don't agree with. I don't try to defend myself. I know who I am. It would just be a waste of my time. Check. So why do folks so vehemently defend themselves here, even if the generalization doesn't apply to them...? And if it does, are they ashamed of that generalization? If a guy said women are only after looks, height, and money, why would a women who actually is only after looks, height, and money going to find the need to defend themselves? Are they ashamed of their preference? Or not confident in themselves and what they want? If a woman says that men only want young hot pieces of ass, why do men who actually do want young hot pieces of ass find the need to defend themselves? Are they ashamed of their preference? Or not confident in themselves and what they want? Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Check. So why do folks so vehemently defend themselves here, even if the generalization doesn't apply to them...? And if it does, are they ashamed of that generalization? If a guy said women are only after looks, height, and money, why would a women who actually is only after looks, height, and money going to find the need to defend themselves? Are they ashamed of their preference? Or not confident in themselves and what they want? If a woman says that men only want young hot pieces of ass, why do men who actually do want young hot pieces of ass find the need to defend themselves? Are they ashamed of their preference? Or not confident in themselves and what they want? Some people defend themselves because the generalization is true about them. Others just disagree and want to correct the person making the generalization simply because it is offensive to some of those who do not fit it. Others still are just trying to help the person see things in a different more focused way. Scratch what I said about my theories earlier. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile.... That's the perspective of some, regardless of whether the statement impacts them personally or not. Turf protection. Edited July 8, 2012 by carhill an not and Link to post Share on other sites
Nicomis Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Stereotypes and generalizations exist, because to some degree they are true, unless somebody just pulled something out of their ass. When a woman says "all men are jerks", I am smart enough to know, that many men are jerks, and she doesn't literally mean every single male that ever lived is/was a jerk. Only really stupid or combative people get mad about these types of generalizations. Some people are drama queens and want to make an issue out of everything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I'm not offended by generalizations. What am I going to do if someone makes a generalization related to something about me and it's true? Deny it? Why not just embrace it? Link to post Share on other sites
manup Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 because they don't apply to everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 because they don't apply to everyone So if one understands this, then why do they interpret another's words as if they did apply to everyone...? Link to post Share on other sites
HHC Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Because they're not confident enough in who they are to be able to prove them wrong. I know that a lot of stereotypes don't apply to me. I know that my behaviour and personality shows that. I don't care if a stereotype is applied to me because I will either prove them wrong or they're not worth it anyway 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Today? Because I'm annoyed, and putting people on ignore doesn't erase their threads from my view. Other days, I've felt like defending other people. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Pirouette Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Some generalizations can be damaging to an individual even if it does not hold true for that individual. For example, "People of that race are thieves." The individual of that race is not a thief. People in a position of power that can influence that individual's life and success hold to that general belief, say an employer. The individual is passed over because in the employer's mind is the idea and belief that the individual could be a thief because of a physical marker, their race, nothing else. They go with a candidate of another race because they believe there is less chance of them being a thief. The individual is penalized due to a generalization. The extent to which the generalization can damage the individual depends on how negative the belief and how pervasive it is in society. Also, how true is it, and just because it holds true for a lot of the group today, does that mean it cannot change in the future? In the example above, I would understand the individual's desire to speak out against such a generalization and fight against it. Is there a metric for when it is appropriate to be offended by a generalization? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why do people get offended by a dating generalization or stereotype? About half the people in a group are likely to be below average in intelligence. Link to post Share on other sites
Pirouette Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Race is the big taboo, but people make pre emptive generalizations about a whole myriad of things. If the stereotype that people of a certain race are thieves comes about, it's because a disproportionate number of that race is prone to thievery. While it's unfair to hold those stereotypes among the minority of such a race that doesn't steal, it's also unfair to force an employer to increase the likelihood of theft in his shop. So what if at one point it was true, that a disproportionate number of that race was prone to thievery, but then factors changed that decreased the rate of thievery in that population to be in line with the rest of the races, but the races of a higher, socio-economic level still believe in the generalization and act in accordance with it? What then? Or what if you (the people in power) equate the behaviour with something inherent to that population, instead of as a result of some outward factor, and you actively without the means to help them better themselves because you believe it would be wasted on them? These are just the ideas rolling around in my head. The world is too complex to be summarized in a few pithy sentences, but I think we can all benefit from examining the generalizations we hold inside and if and how they influence us and our interactions with others. Link to post Share on other sites
Curtis24 Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 People get offended by stereotypes, because they often are true. By getting offended, you are almost admitting there is some truth to them. No, this is poor reasoning. When I am offended by a stereotype, its not because its true, its because I believe that idiots will make real-life decisions based on the stereotype, making life suckier for all of us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I think people who generalize or stereotype are too lazy to get to know people unlike themselves so it's easier to just lump them together rather than to see people as individuals. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
yongyong Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 It's just built in mechanism for human. It's not always accurate but it doesn't hurt to think that way. you see a shaved head, tattoo covered, wearing wife beater, white socks all the way to the ankle. what comes to your mind? 'oh I should be careful with this person' If the guy was plain looking with normal clothes, you wouldn't mind walking by him or even talking to him. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE JUDGED, ACT AND DRESS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I don't understand when those 'tattoo people' complain about 'just because I have tattoos doesn't mean!!!..........blah blah' Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 I think people who generalize or stereotype are too lazy to get to know people unlike themselves so it's easier to just lump them together rather than to see people as individuals. I certainly agree that generalizing and stereotyping can be a shortcut and reflect a degree of "laziness," as it may be. However, would it not also reflect a degree of learning and adaptation? We do it all the time. For example, in a dating context, let's say you enter into a relationship with a physically abusive man, and it's a terrible experience. Now, if another man was perfect in every way except he was physically abusive, would you see him as an individual and get to know him, or would you draw from your past experience with physical abuse and "lump him together" with other abusive men...? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 So dating generalizations and stereotypes are thrown around every day on LS...and it amazes me how offended some folks get when a generalization is made that may apply to their gender, age group, race, etc. Because generalisations are often used to discriminate against people or exercise power, or they're just total rubbish. Some generalisations are statistically significant, but a whole lot of others are just complete BS. Examples (all taken from real life/history): All white people are more civilised than black people. All men are jerks. Women can't be political leaders because they are too emotional. Asian women are much more horny than other women. All people who go to university are smarter than those who don't. And so on, and so forth... The second reason why generalisation is often such BS is that where stats are actually involved, correlation is confused with causation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Because generalisations are often used to discriminate against people or exercise power, or they're just total rubbish. Some generalisations are statistically significant, but a whole lot of others are just complete BS. What about those generalizations made by individuals based solely on personal experience, particularly in the dating and social context? There's likely to be no meaningful statistical significance and be driven by causation rather than correlation. Do they have any weight or traction? Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Why do people get offended by a dating generalization or stereotype? Because they're not getting enough sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I certainly agree that generalizing and stereotyping can be a shortcut and reflect a degree of "laziness," as it may be. However, would it not also reflect a degree of learning and adaptation? We do it all the time. For example, in a dating context, let's say you enter into a relationship with a physically abusive man, and it's a terrible experience. Now, if another man was perfect in every way except he was physically abusive, would you see him as an individual and get to know him, or would you draw from your past experience with physical abuse and "lump him together" with other abusive men...? Yea good point. But it's different when you date cause you have preferences of what you find attractive or not. Call me high- maintenance but physically abusive men are a turn-off for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Yea good point. But it's different when you date cause you have preferences of what you find attractive or not. Of course. We all generalize certain attributes and place varying values on those generalizations. Call me high- maintenance but physically abusive men are a turn-off for me. Say it ain't so!!! :eek: Link to post Share on other sites
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