Unaffectionate Husband

[prubinos]

I have been married for 5 1/2 yrs but together on and off for 12. I always have the same issue arise about my husband not being affectionate, non romantic, and doesn't even communicate with me. He tells me he loves me when he sees I'm mad but shows me different. I feel alone in my marriage and I'm tired of me being the only one that puts forth any effort and initiative. In his mind everything is ok and I'm the one over exagerating. I want a man that will show me affection, take me out to dinner, send me roses for our anniversary or birthday and just show me affection. He is none of that! He feels because he is home and sleeps with me every night that it is equivalent to spending time together..........well it's NOT! He remains downstairs while I'm upstairs!! I often have to initiate sex because he won't!! The sex is great but I wish he would take it. What has kept me close to this man is the fact that he will give me a little bit of attention enough to keep me interested but that changes the next day! I feel that he doesn't care about me and honestly I'm done trying. I tried counseling at the beginning, we only had 1 or 2 sessions in which the therapist said he needed to plan a date night for us well I'm still waiting 6 years later! I tried not talking to him for about a month but he just acted like I was in a bad mood and rolled with it. I tried not having sex for a month but again he just acted like nothing was wrong and went with it. He just doesn't get it!! I need someone that will take me out from time to time and have fun, someone who can show me affection and show that he loves me. Everyone else around me has a loving and caring marriage. It only makes me feel worse. I know no marriage is perfect but I feel he can at least try. I've tried talking to him about it but it goes in one ear and out the other. I've tried to spice things up but that's only good for a day. I feel at this point in my life the games shouldn't be there it should be natural. I'm tired of being the one that makes this work. I'm to the point where I don't want to try anymore but our history together and our son is what I consider. He is great at everything else cooks, cleans, great father but I don't see the passion there. He's taking me for granted!

[M30USA]

I have the opposite problem. My wife is the unaffectionate one. It's strange because she obviously has a high sex drive, but that doesn't necessarily mean affectionate.