+// What is going on with me and my friend?

[Beachead]

Alright..

 

So this is about a female friend I've known for about 4+ years now. We met through our mutual friends and slowly became close over time. When I met her, she was dealing with this dude she had known for 2 years before and about 6 months into our friendship started going out with him. After that, I started dating one of her friends but for the past 2 years now, the both of us have been single.

 

As you can see, I obviously have feelings for her.

 

But the thought of telling her how I feel just drains me. I've had some real bad luck with women in the past and I just don't have that confidence to get out there and make it happen anymore. I just remain passive and in a comfort zone.

 

To add to this, I consider her my closest female friend.

 

So why am I wondering about what's going on?

 

We've talked about our relationship problems, life problems, and joked around. We've had 3 hour Skype conversations a few times when she was overseas about life and then when that was done, continued about nothing in particular. We have significantly become closer in the past year.

 

She always requires her girlfriends to be around her when she's with me or with me and my boys..but recently we hung out and she was willing to come pick me up knowing it'd just be the two of us alone for awhile until we'd meet our other friends.

 

She recently said to me when she was upset and confiding in me.."what would I do without you."

 

She used to be really flirty with other guys and always had someone to fling with in the past but I've noticed she's stopped all that in the past year. Maybe it's cause she's more focused on school now. She has said there's really nobody that has gauged her interest but when she came back here for a vacation, she was playfighting with me, pulling my hair and telling me how bony I am and we'd just tease eachother the whole time.

 

We'd then text eachother when we'd leave a party when we got home to let eachother know we've gotten home safely. I'd do this with a friend too..so maybe i'm looking too hard into this?

 

 

Now that I typed it all out, it sounds like a real friendzone situation..

 

I don't know..my feelings have really hit me like a ton of bricks since she came back here for a vacation.

 

So yea..you guys can see the kinds of mixed signals I'm getting. After all this observation, it's still a puzzle and the only way to find out is to talk to her. I have seriously been considering telling her how I felt for about a year now..but I just don't want to get owned.

 

Should I even ask? I feel like she kind of likes me but we've been friends for so long..there's too much at stake. Do I even stand a chance? Does any of this mean anything? I need someone to slap me in the face and wake me up..or tell me what's happening from an outside perspective

Edited July 9, 2012 by Beachead

[meeji]

We can give you advice all day long but only the two of you really know the dynamics of your relationship. I think you should ask her. What's the worst that could happen? If you never ask you will never know, and this could potentially eat you alive.

 

Another thing to consider is that its possible that she might have realized that her feelings for you have changed but since she said before she wasn't interested she might not know how to bring it up. Its possible.